Good theme song for the Bush Crime Family and their gullible supporters...

[Sephirstein]

Master of the House (Les Mis)

Thénardier: Welcome, M’sieur
Sit yourself down
And meet the best
Inkeeper in town.
As for the rest,
All of the crooks
Rooking the guest
And cooking the books.
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who’s content to be
Master of the house
Doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake
And an open palm
Tells a saucy tale
Makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favor
Doesn’t cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!
Master of the house
Keeper of the zoo!
Ready to relieve them
Of a sou, or two.
Watering the wine
Making up the weight
Pickin’ up their knick-knacks
When they can’t see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody’s bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won’t I bleed ’em in the end

Thénardier & Chorus: Master of the house
Quick to catch your eye
Never wants a passer-by
To pass him by.
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher
And lifelong mate!
Everybody’s boon companion
Everybody’s chaperone

Thénardier: But lock up your valises
Jesus! Won’t I skin you to the bone!
Enter, M’sieur
Lay down your load
Unlace yer boots
Rest from the road.
This weighs a ton
Travel’s a curse
But here we strive
To lighten your purse
Here the goose is cooked
Here the fat is fried
And nothing’s overlooked
Till I’m satisfied…
Food beyond compare
Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer
And pretend it’s beef.
Kidney of a horse
Liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages
With this and that!
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied!
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!
Charge ’em for the lice
Extra for the mice
Two per cent for looking in the mirror
Twice.
Here a little slice
There a little cut
Three per cent for sleeping with the window
Shut.
When it comes to fixing prices
There are lots tricks he knows
How it all increases
All in bits and pieces
Jesus! It’s amazing how it grows!

Thénardier and Chorus: Master of the house
Quick to catch your eye
Never wants a passer-by to pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher
And life-long mate
Everybody’s boon companion
Gives ’em everything he’s got.

Thénardier: Dirty bunch of geezers
Jesus! What a sorry little lot!

Madame Thénardier: I used to dream
That I would meet a prince
But God Almighty,
Have you seen what’s happened since?
“Master of the house?”
Isn’t worth me spit!
“Comforter, philospher”
—and lifelong shit!
Cunning little brain
Regular Voltaire
Think’s he’s quite a lover
But there’s not much there.
What a cruel trick of nature
Landed me with such a louse
God knows how I’ve lasted
Living with this bastard in the house!

Thénardier and Chorus: Master of the house.

Madame Thénardier: Master and a half!

Thénardier and Chorus: Comforter, philosopher.

Madame Thénardier: Don’t make me laugh!

Thénardier and Chorus: Servant to the poor
Butler to the great.

Madame Thénardier: Hypocrite and toady
And inebriate!

Thénardier and Chorus: Everybody bless the landlord!
Everybody bless his spouse!

Thénardier: Everbody raise a glass.

Madame Thénardier: Raise it up the master’s ass.

All: Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house.