Washington – In a fresh example of his failure to gauge the national mood, Vice President Dick Cheney discussed a recent bowel movement for nearly three minutes during “Meet the Press” on July 4, 2004. A stunned Tim Russert stared - his mouth agape – as the story unfolded.
“I’ll tell you Tim,” began the Vice President – apropos to nothing, “I laid a turd the other day that had to be seen to be believed. In fact, it was the biggest turd I’ve ever seen – let alone produced. I really wish I’d had my camera with me – if you could have seen it your eyes would have just about bugged right out of your head.
“I mean the girth was as big as my forearm,” continued the Vice President – who then rolled up his right sleeve to provide a visual aid, “And the length
– there must have been two feet or three feet coiled up in the bowl.
“You see a thing like that and you can’t help feel proud – do you know what I mean? As I stood there admiring it, I tried to figure out what I had eaten that could have created this monster, but nothing special came to mind. Of course when it was finally time to say good-bye, that was when the real fun began”
Mr. Russert had by this point managed to regain his composure and instructed to control room to cut to commercials. The viewing public was cut off from sharing this special moment with Mr. Cheney at the point be had started to unbutton his shirt cuff. A thoughtful production assistant provided the remainder of the transcript for public dissemination through other means.
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