Just had stupid argument, need support, Im pissed

[TexasLady]

After the hot day In Crawford, I went to my cousin's little boy's bday for a little while. She and I were talking outside, when her husband came outside and started bragging about seeing some motorcycles doing a 'run for Bush' to Crawford. I said, well, they need to talk to the families of loved ones who died over in Iraq. He got angry and said they(the troops) volunteered. I said not for this war, and talked about WMD's not existing, etc...My cousin started hollering for us to stop. I did, he wouldnt. I then said, Dude, lets just drop it, your wife is getting upset. Thats when things got ugly. I am apparently a 'c' word, a 'b' word and a few other things. He got inches from my face. I got up, calmly went to the door to get my kids, and as I left, I told my cousin that I wouldnt be coming back, but that she was welcome anytime, without her husband. It was ugly. Guess its my first really bad confrontation since all this started. Makes me wonder what the rest of us may go through in the coming weeks. This husband of hers and I have always been civil until today. It was loud, nasty and bordering on violence.

Help a girl out, and please lend some support.
The cool thing is..I just saw Cindy's ad on my TV, paid for my Gold Star Families. Made me feel better.

[Darth_Kitten]

1. I think you are great!

Feisty and Classy. :)

He went over the line, he seems like a real misogynistic jerk. :(

Edit: It wasn't a stupid argument, NOT on YOUR side, anyways. I can only imagine that your cousin's home life cannot be that happy living with such a moron.

[TexasLady]

3. Thank you, and yes he is.

He doesnt treat her with any respect either. My husband wasnt there. I guarantee this would have never gotten so bad had he been there. We both agreed to just avoid him.

[Darth_Kitten]

16. I know you must feel a little rattled by the event...

but you didn't do anything wrong.

Moron calls you terrible names at his own kid's birthday party? The guy is mean, and nuts.

:mad:

[ray of light]

53. check this out.

PASS IT ON...
At the beginning of the Democracy Cell Project, we discussed the necessity of focusing on a limited number of issues, lest we become another news site, racing to get the first word out there. One of the issues we recognized as critical to restoring democracy was media reform. But it’s hard to reform institutions from the outside. So we reminded ourselves of the words of one the more famous Kerry-Edwards bloggers, Wild Salmon, who kept telling us to BE THE MEDIA.

The entire blogosphere has taken up the mantle, and now we see the mainstream media catching up, finally—after over a week of blog coverage—noticing the small woman sitting on a roadside in Texas.

And today, this weekend, all roads lead to Crawford.

How far can this go? What, exactly, is being created here?

Will Pitt writes about a number of people showing up with other causes, and how distracting that is and how un-helpful that is, and I agree with him. It is quietude and sense of purpose that is allowing the noise to die down, and drawing the cameras --finally! — to the focused Mom, and her vigil. We don’t need the other causes; we don’t need extra noise. In theatre, we call this “giving focus”— all the other stage business stills, and the actors address the main character in the scene.

This is her story to tell. We are but poor players.

But the supporting cast is critical to the message as well. As audience, or as actors, we need to shift our body focus toward Crawford. We are witnesses, supporters, and carriers of the message.

I was thinking about all of this yesterday, while talking to Victoria Ellen. I reminded her about the map that appeared after the 2004 election, and an analysis we had made about it.



To me, the blue circles (around major metropolitan areas) are clumps of democracy cells—places where people exchange information in groups; where we are active in many communities and across traditional boundaries of geography and ethnicity. Theories get tested out and questioned, critical analysis, also known as “arguments”, ensue. It’s a spicy soup of ideas and beliefs and sensibilities. A "fact" is not a "fact" just because you heard it at church or on Fox News.

But as blue blends into purple, and finally the red lines that look like strands of connective tissue holding the country together, the soup loses more and more of its spice.

The purple areas are places where many different types of communications take place. Neighbors do not necessarily talk to each other, and very often, separate communities can grow up within blocks of each other.

But those red lines, those are the ones that interest me mightily. How does communication take place along those red lines?

If our own Casey Morris is correct, these are often "Wal-Mart communities"; places where the Wal-Marts have taken over from local businesses. When Wal-Marts arrive, the ability of local papers to sustain critical conversations plummets. Wal-Marts do not advertise in local papers, so their arrival kills off the local businesses whose advertising is the mainstay of community newspapers.

Which leaves the local church as the principal source of social interaction and information. The Wal-Mart communities become something akin to feudal societies. Highly stratified, rigidly coded, the only place to find community is at church. And the minister, the preacher has enormous moral power.

The ministers become telephone poles along those red lines of linear communiqués. It is therefore particularly easy to begin a whisper campaign, a dissemination of disinformation. Lakoff is correct, I believe, when he says that we are a nation of identifiers—we believe as our identified community leaders believe—or say they believe. Otherwise we are out of the loop. When the loop is large and diverse, the beliefs are complex and broad-based. When the loops are small and narrow, so too is the examination of those beliefs, and the pass-it-along continues.

Which brings us back to the lady at the roadside. The story is simple; the values that underlie her actions are sound. What we can do to be the media is also simple:

Cindy Sheehan wants the President to tell us the truth. PASS IT ON.

Posted by Karen at August 12, 2005 10:45 AM


http://www.democracycellproject.net/blog/archives/2005/08/pass_it_on.html



I hope that everyone understands that by saying that we have to pass along a simple, clear message I am NOT saying that I think rural people are unintelligent or incapable of critical thought. I was just struck by the apparent choreography of information sharing that seemed to be revealed by that map. And Dave, even though I laughed out loud at your post, I am not saying "our way" is better.

I think that it can be revealing to look at HOW information gets passed along, not only WHAT information gets passed along. I think there is much to be said for the clear truthful message that merely slides along a pathway until it reaches critical mass and becomes a belief. I would just like to hope that the truth can be passed along this way. The current administration has clearly passed along lies via the telephone pole route.

I may not have written this before, but one of the things I say when I run into one of those scripted right-wingers is this:

"You are being lied to."

I do not elaborate. I do not try to argue the details (three teenagers have trained me away from that!). I speak the truth quietly and clearly and then I let them sputter and walk away.

Clear message. Simple message. Pass it on...

Posted by: Karen at August 13, 2005 07:31 AM

[Horse with no Name]

2. hugsss

did you ask him why his ass wasn't enlisted if he was so supportive?
:shrug:
I hope you can maintain a relationship with your cousin.
I would NEVER excuse someone who called me the *c* word. I can tolerate the *b* word all day long--but that is as far as I can go.
You are doing a great job!
Keep it up.

[TexasLady]

13. His anger only made me more determined

and sure of my position. There was a little more to it, but all in all he was screaming outside at me, saying "are you telling ME to shut up?" I never told him that, his wife did. He was just disgusting. My relationship with my cousin is really up to her. I wont put up with that kind of abuse from ANYONE. Even if that means losing her. Yall are making me feel so much better.

[proud2BlibKansan]

4. They are so predictable!

Lose an argument - call your opponent names. :nopity:

[Literate Tar Heel]

30. not only that

they're so angry!! and most of the time it seems to me like the anger of the desperately defensive ... as if they know, they know deep down how wrong they have been all along, and the emotion that comes with that, which in some people would be contrition, instead comes through them in anger ... so much of their foundation of belief is becoming harder and harder to reconcile with the real world, but instead of restructuring that foundation, they choose to lash out at the real world and those who inhabit it ... it's really a quite interesting psychological condition

[proud2BlibKansan]

59. Yep their anger is downright puzzling

Are you from NC? I was just there this week. Beautiful state.

[Literate Tar Heel]

63. yes, a little west of Charlotte

they like to bill NC as a vacation wonderland or vacation paradise or something ... the fact of having both mountains and beaches, I think ... there definitely are some beautiful parts though

[proud2BlibKansan]

68. We were in Asheville

but it rained the whole time we were there so we left a day early. We had planned to go tubing. But the day we left, there were flood warnings. We watched a creek behind our hotel rise very fast in the three days we were there.

But we loved Asheville. It is a beautiful city. And we met Brainshrub and had dinner with him.

[Vincardog]

5. The radical right wing nuts are getting scared. That is why they

are attacking. Relax this is the beginning of the end of the fascist junta.

[RagAss]

24. They've been scared since 9/11...

must have a lot to do with facing death and not accomplishing what they thought they would at this point in their lives.....enter anger and hate.......

[Nictuku]

6. Be Proud!

We are speaking for Truth. You tried, he wouldn't listen. You didn't stoop to the same lows.

We should always take the higher road. You kept your cool, you did not lose the love for your family (cousin), you did good! You are now up there in my mind with another true american hero:

[TexasLady]

25. My cousin was hollering at him as I drove off

She was plenty pissed at HIM. I respected her wishes, he didnt.

Thank you for that..I knew Id get support here. Yeeeehaa!

[ludwigb]

7. This is probably the kind of guy who thinks Bill O'Reilly is great

Sounds like an anti-social bully to me.

We should take it as a complement when unenlightened people hate us. Those who would strive towards wisdom must be content to be thought foolish by the masses.

[MaggieSwanson]

8. TexasLady, I feel for you

Sounds like you took the moral high ground. And even if you hadn't, I'd still give you a few words of support!

I hope the "c" word was courageous and the "b" word was brave.

:pals:

[Individualist]

9. Let me guess...

This asshole considers himself a Christian? That's so typical of that type.

[donco6]

10. You took the high road; he didn't.

He's the type of jerk that has to "win" the argument by being louder, more physical, etc. But what has he won, really? The right to brag that he bullied a woman into leaving her cousin's house? Wow.

Hang in there. These confrontations are bound to happen, and you handled it as well as you could have.

[cbear70]

11. he crossed the line

You did a great job and the only thing you could do. Be safe and keep your distance. You made the right choice. I am so sorry you had to endure this.

[yorkiemommie1]

12. i suppose he is going to enlist soon?

and since this is a 'generational' conflict per condi rice, that he will be more than willing to volunteer his son??

have they even heard of the DSM or PNAC ?

Pat Buchanan of American Conservative magazine has been against the neocons and the war and has written numerous articles about them. No matter what info these folks get though, they will never change their minds.

[merh]

14. (((hug)))

All I can do is offer you support and a hug or two.

I haven't been allowed to see my nephew and niece since June when I lost it with my brother's in-laws' defense of Killien, the "poor old man that would die in prison for a 40 year old crime and that we taxpayers would have to pay for his medical treatment" :puke:

I can relate to your situation and I offer support, but no words of wisdom. I have none for the insanity of our times. This is a very trying time for all.

:hug:

[Just Me]

He's clearly abusive. You SHOULD avoid him.

You did the right thing. :hug:

[TexasLady]

31. yes he is

He is on probation for eight years, has been very abusive to my cousin, and is an all around 'charmer' one minute, and mysoginist(sp) the next. Hes the type that wouldnt know what that word even means.

[mcscajun]

15. You did what you had to do...Nobody, but NOBody, calls me the "c"

word and gets away with it. Ever.

It's doubly horrible that he did that in front of his own wife. You must wonder what else goes on in that house. I feel for you, and for your cousin. Her husband, OTOH, can go pound sand up...

:hug:

[TexasLady]

38. AND in front of his one year old son as well

The realllly funny part is that a friend of the family had the video cam going. Ahh, memories

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

17. You showed courage and class

courage because you told him the truth. Class because when he went potty mouth you took up your family and left. Hang in there!

[MojoXN]

18. They're just words...

And just think about how much of an ass he made of himself in front of everyone. My advice? Any time that the topic comes up, and it becomes clear that you're talking to an ultra-Rightist, drop it, and refuse to say anything else. They might work themselves up into a frenzy, but at least you'll come away feeling O.K., and superior even.

MojoXN

[toey]

19. Oh, TL, you are doing an awesome job

don't let one guy who is obviously not informed enough to know the truth get you upset. We're all fighting for the same thing here and I'm glad you can come here for support because you know you'll get it. Keep up the good work on the front lines down there at Camp Casey. We all wish we could be so lucky to be there and be a part of this first hand. All you do with posting your pics and stories makes me feel at least that I one day will be able to say, "I was a part of a new revolution in America." WE WILL TAKE IT BACK FOR FREEDOM!!!

GO TEXASLADY!!!!!!!! :yourock:

[TexasLady]

44. you make me feel so good!

Its ALL of us who are working so hard! We should all be so proud of ourselves in all the ways we work to bring our country back to some sense of normalcy. Im just saddened because it will probably happen to many many of us..these silly stupid arguments.

I remember watching some videos from truthout.org that showed the country's ideas right before the last election. in the end, they found that really and truly, most of us arent that pitted against each other when it comes to many things political, social, etc...I hope that is true.

[toey]

51. it is worth it. its all worth it

when you have truth on your side...eventually, by karma or otherwise, they will get theirs.

HAVE AN AWESOME EVENING AND KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!

If you get a chance to say hi to cindy, please tell her how much even people in indiana are with her...don't think there are many, if any, hoosiers down there. so wish i could be.

[SillyGoose]

20. aww, TexasLady, I'm so sorry that jerk said those horrible things to you.

You didn't deserve to be attacked like that. You did the right thing by getting yourself and your kids out of there. I've been reading your posts all week and I know how hard you've been working for Cindy. Don't let a**holes like that get you down.

:hug:

[DanCa]

21. First thank you for going to the protest.

I know how you feel, when I lobby for stem cell research I have been called everything from an embryo farmer to a toddler killer. And that is be priest. Texan Lady your a fine person and dont let some nut ruin your day. I think he was just projecting onto you his fear of not being able to enlist himself. :Hugs: thanks again for going your a special lady. Dont forget it.

[pacalo]

22. You did nothing wrong; in fact, you handled yourself beautifully.

He used the "c" & the "b" words on you? Family or not, he's not worth your time.

Sounds like he was baiting you from the moment you walked in, probably knowing how much you've done to support Mrs. Sheehan.

Upsetting as it must be for you, know that you did nothing wrong.

[Sydnie]

23. You and your cousin are the victims of our "great uniter" pResident

It's amazing that he continues to divide families as he does. So much for his "family values" platform too.

Perhaps your cousin's husband will come around when blivet** is finally exposed as having walked among the crowds without so much as a stitch of clothes by the media and the rest of the country.

If not, then you need to leave him in the ignorance that he has chosen to wallow in. Getting out today was the best thing you could have done for yourself and your kids. You were an example for all today -- how to have the courage of your convictions. I applaud you.

:hug:

[Nictuku]

28. So true Sydnie

United we Stand, Divided we Fall.

It is a very old tactic in the Rules of War, Divide your enemy (the worst part is that they consider the American People the Enemy)

[tsuki]

26. I really can't give you any support because I'm a "b" and a "c"

and a "d" and an "e" and a "f." But you know, I'm in good company, so it doesn't bother me much.

I'd watch my cousin tho. Sounds like she's married to an abuser. She is the one that may need the support.

[Coventina]

61. I'm a "b-word" and a "c-word" as well!

In fact, I'm full of "c-word-y" goodness!
:9

Something I'm sure that shit-for-brains has no comprehension of.

Let's hear it for all "b-words" and "c-words" who are brave and stong and tell it like it is!!!

Sorry that jerk brought you down.

:grouphug:

[countingbluecars]

27. While I am sure you feel sorry for your cousin,

take comfort in the fact that you are not the one married to the jerk-you can just walk away.

[ignatius 2]

29. What a jerk,acting like that at his son's birthday party. He sounds like

a typical Bush supporter,loud,clueless and violent. I am sorry you had to go through this and I hope your cousin can see what an ass she is married to.

I hope, for her childrens sakes, she seriously considers leaving such a violent man before he turns that anger on to them.

[Bluzmann57]

32. Well as a man, I am appalled

And in my humble opinion, that guy ain't a man. I know violence isn't the answer, but just let him call my wife names like that. In actuality, she'd probably kick his ass herself. But anyway, you took the high road and hopefully, you will be able to see your cousin and the kids again, but without him, as you asked for. Better yet, hopefully he'll apologize and mean it.

[seabeyond]

40. wife is probably walking lightly hoping he doesnt transfer anger

and kick her ass after everyone goes home

[TexasLady]

49. you are a gentleman, im sure!

My husband wanted to whoop up on him, but we both decided he was not worth our time or effort. and he sure isnt!

[Clintmax]

33. Fuckin dickweed!

You're the much better person obviously! I applaud you, my dear!
:hug:

[Beam Me Up]

34. You did exactly the right thing.

Exactly the right thing. You stood your ground. You told your cousin what she needed to hear. I know it is hard. Most of my family is like this man -- completely clueless and it is useless to argue with them. Good going!

[Midlodemocrat]

35. Send the fucker an enlistment form.

[TexasLady]

48. It would only invoke more violent behavior

And he has a pattern of violence. He is truly a 'dickweed' although I have never EVER called him one. I am so glad that you all think as I did, that walking away was the right thing to do.

[Richard Steele]

36. That's B*sh's LEGACY: Hatred and DIVISION.

I'm sorry you have such a person so close to you, TexasLady.

I'm sorry that our once-great nation has come to this.

It's sad that simply speaking TRUTH today provokes such a violent response.

You are in my thoughts and prayers, TexasLady. Stay Strong!

This, too, shall pass.

[Generic Other]

37. They scream because they have no argument

They think volume makes up for lack of content.

[rodeodance]

45. "a run for Bush"--on his motor bike--tell this testoterone man to walk.

He may change his mind.

[City Lights]

39. So this guy caused a scene at his kid's birthday party?

Over **? Gotta luv them family values. :eyes:

Sheesh, TexasLady, so sorry you had to go through that. :hug: At least you were mature enough to know when to change the subject. Too bad he wouldn't let it go. Was he using those words in front of the children? :faint:

For your sake and your kids, I hope you and your cousin are able to maintain your relationship around her husband. :-)

[despairing optimist]

41. You're in the right here. He obviously had a chip on his shoulder.

What a fool to ruin his son's birthday party in such a fashion. Totally classless, especially when contrasted with the way you handled the situation. You struck a nerve and he was itching for a fight no matter what, where, or who. Maybe he's conflicted about his support for Bush and his stinking warmonger/chickenhawk mentality, and you showed him up by what you've been doing with Cindy in Crawford--and for DU by posting those great photos.

Right now I'm thinking of a quote from Henry David Thoreau, something like, "A well-informed and fully aware man when among his lesser-educated peers constitutes a majority of one." I don't have the words exactly right, but the important part is, you are the majority of one. The painful part of being a majority of one is that it's so lonely, at least for a while. But you came to the right place, and I hope you're not so lonely anymore. If that's not enough consolation, think of Cindy and find strength in her. What a lady she is too!

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

42. Folks like him

are starting to worry that folks like us are right. By questioning him you are placing responsibility for all the death and destruction where it belongs. You did the right thing.
Keep asking questions. That's really all we have to do. Just keep asking questions.
There is not one single thing that have been made better by this invasion and so-called 'war'. Not one damn thing....

[FreedomAngel82]

43. I'm sorry for that

:( :hug: And like someone else said if you do talk to him again and this comes back ask why he isn't off fighting if he believes in it. I'm sure he'll have a fine excuse. :eyes:

[Sapphire Blue]

46. If you think about it, he was bragging until you suggested that he look

... at the reality of bush's war... the deaths, the horror... he can't admit that his revered leader has lied or erred, so instead, gets angry with anyone who gives him a dose of reality. This gets more & more like Vietnam... tearing families apart.

Here's a 'c' word for you, TexasLady: COURAGEOUS

and a 'b' word, too: BEAUTIFUL

:hug:

[TexasLady]

54. Thank you for that

Because while I was there, and my adrenaline was going, and my voice was shaking, I felt like his filth got all over me....blech!

[jackster]

65. TexasLady...

I concur - you are beautifully courageous! I've been following you here for the last few days and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you've done in Crawford.

Keep your chin up - and stand your ground! I THINK YOU ARE TERRIFIC!

[Kali]

47. You did all the right things

sorry you have a rift in your family - it happens a lot with these f*cks being in charge - I have had to step away from family and friends I truely love. I just know there is no way to change their view and don't want to say things that might be permanent.

Your cousin may need shelter eventually - the guy sounds pretty abusive. Be careful nothing says danger and terrorism like an angry redneck.

[Kali]

50. oh yeah

THANKS for the great photos and for updates. It really is nice to "be there" with everybody by seeing and reading all the almost instant posts from participants.

[Reciprocity]

52. (((hug))) In the word of Harry Potter.

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

You choice was to respect your cousin wishes, his choice was to intimidate, degrade and verbally abuse a guest at his home. Stay away from him. He is a evil, mean, ticking time bomb and you don't want to be anywhere near him when he goes postal.
You my fellow Texan are one classy LADY! He is a low class, may his penis fall off, thug!

[MelissaB]

55. I have that HP quote painted on the door of a cabinet in my classroom

as well as other quotes from those books.

[titoresque]

56. Wow! So sorry

you had to go thru that!! I had a similar experience taking my
in-laws to see Farenheit 911
My father in-law pretended to sleep thru the whole thing, and my mother-in-law almost walked out during the first 10 minutes.
It was really a waste of our time, and my wife and I had planned for a couple of weeks to get them to go with us after we had already seen it several times. They kept cancelling.
We made the mistake however of driving over to the theatre with them and then went to dinner afterwards......its was ICY! At one point, had I had my own car in the parking lot during dinner I would have got up and left. Even after NOT even watching the movie...."sleeping" my father in law tried to argue with me. I told him if he ever ACTUALLY sees the movie I will then entertain his uninformed point of view...until then there is nothing for us to talk about concerning the war and our "commander-in-chief"
I wasn't able to see those people AT ALL for months, and our relationship still has not recovered fully.
I'm disgusted by people like this who CHOOSE to be in the dark!
And I think you're right, many of us are going to experience these family/friend/perfect stranger type incidents in the coming days and weeks more than ever!

You did a great thing, and you stood your ground! Good for you!!!!!
And I feel sorry for your cousin, what an asshole that husband!

[lildreamer316]

57. So sorry this happened to you.

I hope you can find some calm and you and your cousin can continue to be able to be social. Take a few deep breaths ....and kick him in the balls. JUST kidding.

[truth2power]

58. From your description..

sounds like what you witnessed was raw fear.

Anyone who goes ballistic over something like you described, and stoops to calling you a c*** is having his delusional mind-set challenged, and he knows it deep down.

You did good to walk away. Makes him look like the fool he is.

[funkybutt]

60. my sister's husband is a republican

and he'd be in deep SHIT on the homefront if he had such an outburst

[nadinbrzezinski]

62. [[[[[[[[[Hugs]]]]]]]]]]

what is going on is taht many are now facing the raw truth, and you saw raw anger.

It is best to walk away in situtions like that... and this is going to happen nation wide...

The best way to handle this is to remain calm and walk away, you did the right thing

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

64. Why isn't he serving over there? *hugs*

[latebloomer]

66. ugh, how upsetting!

It's truly disturbing encountering someone so poisoned. Definitely, keep away from him!

Thanks for being there with Cindy, and be safe!!

:hug:

[TexasLady]

67. She toughs it out, and has a lot more idiots to deal with

than I do. I need to keep my problems in perspective! I really needed the words of encouragement, and it was under my nose all the time!
This is the greatest group of folks in the world!!

[immoderate]

69. It's tough to walk away when you're right.

And it was good that you could come here for some well deserved strokes.

Maybe the guy will realize how bad he blew it. It could be the best day of his life.

Good job TexasLady!:grouphug:

--IMM

[Guaranteed]

70. You stood up for what was right.

And you survived.

In the long run, you'll realize how important it was for you to have done what you did.

[Olney Blue]

71. TexasLady, I salute you!

:patriot:

Thank you for supporting the troops.

[goodboy]

72. "c" is for Courageous, and "b" is for Brilliant. He's an "f" for fuckhead

that's all.

[Junkdrawer]

73. Vietnam all over again...Once protests become effective...

the shit hits the fan and families split up over this stuff.

I guess the good news here is protests are becoming effective.

[Bariztr]

74. You acted with class

You are a lady thru and thru the way you handled yourself!

If that were my wife and I were present, that "man" would have gotten himself flattened by me. I would not abide anyone calling my wife any of those names!