Alzheimer's Disease & Mom: what can I do ?

[steve2470]

I am good at taking care of myself, honest, but my mom needs me. She's 82, divorced, and does have 24/7 care. I try to see her at least once a week. She has a good doctor. She has great health insurance. Her body, for 82, is in good shape. She's early/mid Alzs. stage. She is taking Aricept, I believe. Any other ideas ?

[catabryna]

1. One other suggestion....

A simple tracking device in case she wanders off. My mother-in-law cared for her father through his Alzheimer's and she took a nap one afternoon. When she woke-up, grandpa was gone. They had a freak cold-snap that year and all the search and rescue folks couldn't find him. Unfortunately, he passed on just 1/4 mile from their home in the woods from hypothermia.

[HeeBGBz]

Oh how sad

I've heard of several similar incidents. I'm sorry to hear that, catabryna.

[steve2470]

9. That is terrible, sorry to hear that

:-(

[catabryna]

13. It was a very sad situation...

which is why I highly recommend a tracking device. He could have been found in a matter of 5 minutes if he'd had one. On the bright side, Grandpa did love to spend all his time in the woods in his younger days, so I'm sure he was probably very happy to be where he was.

[mzteris]

2. where is she living?

If you haven't found a good quality Alzheimer's Assisted Living Facility yet - start looking now and get on the wait list.

Make sure someone is checking on her EVERY day (several times) if she's not in a center already.

Find a good Az support group for yourself.

[steve2470]

4. She's at home with aides around the clock. She's lucky.

I'd take care of her, but I cannot, long story. Support group ? Good idea.

[steve2470]

6. She's at home with aides. I really really don't want her to leave home

But....I will do that if I have to.

[mzteris]

17. true....

moving can be very traumatic and exacerbate/accelerate the symptoms - and if she has aides 24/7 then maybe she can stay there. BUT two caveats - 1) make sure the aides are not only looking after her care - but doing therapeutic work to help keep her mind as sharp as long as possible; 2) socialization - having other people to just hang out with is good for her.

[steve2470]

21. I think they are doing all that. I'll stay on top of it nt

[Ninga]

3. Does your Mom live alone? If she does, then the very best thing

you can do for her is to find her a living environment that will keep her engaged and active. It's really the best thing at this stage.

All the Best.

[steve2470]

5. She has honest and caring aides who take care of her 24/7.

I think she gets enough stimulation.

[ewagner]

7. 92 Year Old MIL

has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's since 89. Same situation. Her body is in great shape and she's in excellent health but she has absolutely no consciousness....she stares with no recognition or eye movement. She's been in the nursing home for 14 years.

The first few years were the hardest but we had a lot of help and advice from the "health care at home" people. They were wonderful. They told us about "validation therapy" which made all the difference in the world. At first we tried to correct her mistaken impressions and "bring her back to reality", but the health care people told us that this just increased the anxiety about being "wrong" about everything. So "validation therapy" meant we would play along with her when she thought she was going to catch a train or waiting for Dad to come home for dinner. It worked well and we kept it up right until she could no longer speak or understand our words.

Her passing is probably near and I don't know whether it will be the proverbial blessing or not. I don't know because I don't have a clue about what is going on in her head. I know she doesn't feel pain because we've seen instances where she should have but didn't react but I have no idea if there is anything resembling consciousness going on in her mind....probably not.

My heart goes out to you because these next few years are going to be difficult but you will eventually learn to cope with it.

Best to you and your family.

[steve2470]

19. Thank you nt

[Horse with no Name]

8. You sound like a very good son.

Bless you.
Make sure she sees a Internal Medicine doc that specializes in Geriatrics. There are new drugs and therapies coming out on the horizon regarding Alzheimer's and you certainly want a physician who is on top of this.
Geriatricians are very specialized.
Good luck to you.

[steve2470]

10. Good ideas, thank you and thank you. nt

[roguevalley]

12. there's a national alzheimer's association with local chapters that

can help you. Google it, honey. Give your mom a hug for me. What a terrible thing to happen to a person.

[Horse with no Name]

15. More info on a geriatrician

http://www.americangeriatrics.org/products/positionpapers/rolegeri.shtml

[MadHound]

11. I'm so sorry to hear that

My grandmother had Alzheimers, back in the day, and it is a heartbreaking disease. It sounds like you've got all of the basics really well covered, so there is only one thing left, the most important thing that you can do; spend good quality time with her. Alheimers is a terrifying disease for those who suffer from it. The knowledge that your brain is slowly becoming swiss cheese is a hell of thing to face alone. So go spend time with your Mom, help her through this time of terror. Even after she has forgotten your name, or even who you are, she will still know somewhere down deep that you are a great person in her life, and you will be able to help her then when nobody else can.

And yes, make sure that you take care of yourself, both mentally and physically, but especially mentally. In a way Alzheimers is a thief, stealing away all those precious memories and personality traits that makes your Mom your Mom. It becomes very frustrating for children, spouses and other caregivers. You need to have time to yourself, ways to release stress, and a caring support group that you can go vent with, because you will need to vent.

Keep her in her house as long as you possibly do so, for it is better for her to be in surroundings she is familiar with. Get her in the habit of writing Post-it notes to herself, this really does do wonders. Prepare yourself for those first really bad memory lapses, like when she doesn't remember your name. But again, most of all, spend good quality time with her, for there isn't much left.

God, I'm so sorry to hear this, it is a real tragedy.

[steve2470]

14. Thank you for your thoughts :-) nt

[Pithy Cherub]

16. If financially possible, make a gift to Alzheimers Association

to your local chapter. Specify, if possible, for someone who does not have the amenities that your family has. So many would benefit from Art Therapy or other programs but cannot afford the small fees.

[Love Bug]

18. Sorry to hear your family is challenged with Alzheimer's

I say "family" because Alzheimer's does affect the whole family. My mom passed from it in January, 2002. Because she lived in Michigan, it fell upon my sister to be the primary caregiver. It was a difficult but amazing journey for all of us.

Advice: Enjoy the time you have with her. Get her talking as much as possible about the past and happy times. Believe me, you will be grateful for those conversations once you can't have them anymore. Make sure she has lots of mental stimulation, like outings, music, movies, etc. Take her shopping. Tell her you love her every time you see her.

The Alzheimer's Association has an excellent website (www.alz.org) with lots of resources. I suggest you and your siblings (if you have any) find a support group now so you will have people to support you emotionally when things start to get worse. Come here to DU, too, if you need to talk. Many of us here have (or had) loved ones with Alzheimer's. We can be there for you.

On edit: Also, decide with your family now what you want to do about end-of-life issues, such as feeding tubes, etc. Better to have that all decided now before you are faced with it. Also -- are all of her legal issues decided such as power of attorney and patient advocate?

[steve2470]

20. Thanks. I'll do the best I can. :-) nt

[Rosco T.]

22. Look for a good care center... they know what to do.

We're dealing with my better half's mother who is in second stage. She has had it since she was 56.

56.

The care center we found for her has been a godsend, skilled, dedicated pelple that know what they are doing, both for the patient and the families. They have facilites all over the country, PM me and I'll point you to their website.

[Love Bug]

23. 56? Jesus. How long has she had it?

That is really sad.

I read a biography of Rita Hayworth, who died of Alzheimer's when she was 65. She started showing the early signs of personality change when she was around 40. She had it for about 25 years, if you can imagine that.

[Rosco T.]

28. We think the signs started when she was about 50...

it got untenable when she was 56. She's 64 now. And she's in execellent health, Her doctor says she's got another 20 years in her.

I'm not sure if that's a blessing or a curse.

[faithnotgreed]

24. hi rosco

may i ask if you would post that website

i am not facing that situation that i know of but it would be nice to know of such a place that you feel is a "godsend"
not many senior care places fall into that category so it would be great to know of one that does and that has locations across the country

thanks rosco
and very best wishes to your mother in law and family

[Rosco T.]

30. Here is is , JEA Senior Living

http://www.jeaseniorliving.com/index.html

They have Alzheimer speciality facilites in Washington, Oregon, California, Colorado, Texas, Illinois, Mississippi and Georgia.

[Midlodemocrat]

25. My dad passed away one year ago Saturday.

He had Alzheimer's. He was in a nursing home the last two years of his life because his diabetes had rendered him unable to walk and he was incontinent. Prior to that, he was at home with my mom and then with me.

I have to tell you, he was delightful. He retained his sense of humor and only saw the glass half full. I really miss him.

[steve2470]

26. So sorry to hear that nt

[asjr]

27. You are not alone. You will make it through. I suggest

you get the book "The Thirty-six Hour Day" and read it. I can't remember the name of the author but my sister and I got it when our mother had to go into an assisted living establishment. We both tried taking care of her at our homes--I even moved to Florida from TN in order that we could both help her. After a while we realized we were hopeless and were able to get her into a facility that was excellent. We hated to do it, but we both had teenagers at home and it was very hard on them. We saw her daily and were very pleased with her progression.

[steve2470]

29. Glad to hear that, thanks nt

[Mnemosyne]

31. So sorry about your Mom's illness Steve.

I don't have any knowledge of this illness, but would like to suggest getting a digital recorder so you/she can record memories that she still has contact with. You will treasure it later I believe. Just an idea anyway.
And good luck, be strong, you will survive.
V:hug: :hi:

[steve2470]

32. Thanks :-) nt

[DemonFighterLives]

33. So sorry to hear about your mom

My mom died last Dec from her bout with Alzheimers. When first diagnosed, my father and her had a role reversal and dad tried to take care of her with some day help. Dad fell down with a stroke and when he got back home and fell a few more times, he decided that they would both go to the nursing home. They were pretty young for the home in the late seventies, but it was a decision that the kids did not have to make.
The best advice is to spend time with her while she is coherent, because eventually, you will not be able to talk. Mom went through a stage where all she talked about was "Pockets and Gowns" and nobody could really figure it out. My sister wrote a song by that name. I think it was when she had to wear diapers, but not sure.

At one stage she was able to sing all the words to the old hymns and she sang like a bird. It was beautiful and different from the past. She never sang very loud before. One time she sang, "Let me call you sweetheart", to me and all I could do was stare into her eyes and it chokes me up right now telling about it. :cry:

Mom was a school teacher when she was young and the realization that she was losing her marbles was the toughest time. She prayed to die!
I'm running on here, but what eventually caused a very healthy saint to die was the inability to swallow. She went about 4 days without food and that was it.
My father survives her, but is very broken after his spouse of 57 years died.
:grouphug:
Thanks to all the others here with their stories and I give my condonlences to all who have felt the loss of a loved one.

[DemonFighterLives]

34. Where'd everybody go?

:dem: