"What does a bike ride have to do with getting out of Iraq?" "You people!"

[uppityperson]

Last night a 80ish vet stopped by to talk after our vigil.

He started to read the printed page and asked "what does a bike ride have to do with getting out of Iraq?" I tried explaining that the line he read was the beginning of an article and if he read more it would explain, but he cut me off and started to talk about how "you people" weren't helping anything. (deep breath by me, look @ him in interest) He continued that he served in WW2 and he it was apparent that we were anti-bush (another deep breath) and that he hated bush as much as we did and thought the war in Iraq was wrong but how could doing what "you people" do help bring them home. (woohoo, an 80ish yr old anti-bush vet who wanted to discuss strategy)

I told him that personally I was no part of "you people" since I was representing myself and that the vigil was meant to show solidarity, bring us together, on and on. Thanked him for serving, asked where, shared where my father did, asked if he meant how did I think we should get out of Iraq, had a bit of a conversation about strategy.

We came up with what bush needs to do is first admit that he needs help in Iraq, then get other countries/UN involved because the USA has no positive status there and will never be able to pull it together. I told him that the vigils were to send a message to bush that America and the world want answers and want bush to get the message that many many of us disagree with what he is doing and change is needed. He still was frustrated at protests that he sees aimed at protesting and not solving anything.

What this showed me is:
a) I need to practice my speaking
b) I can be calm when I need to
c) We need to be calm and reasonable people, treating everyone respectfully. If we are fringey people, or ranting, this will turn many people off. There are lots of people out there who feel as we do, but do not participate because they don't understand what we are doing, or what it will accomplish. Continue to listen to people, discuss with people, NOT rant and be disregarded because you are one of "those people". They are there and they want to talk. Listen to them, double check what they are saying before responding, give them a chance first and above all remain RESPECTFUL, even if you don't think they deserve it. Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird was my hero since I first read the book and saw the movie.

Peace

[maxsolomon]

1. you are not "fringey"

the MAJORITY of americans feel this war is going south.

[uppityperson]

3. One reason I am going camping in Crawford next wk

just another middle aged mom camping out, waiting for Mr.bush to give us answers. Not a fringe member of anything, representing myself. I got interviewed by local paper last night also, asked who I was representing going camping next wk, I said "me, someone who wants answers."

Fringey meaning visually or auditorially out of the mainstream. Trying to bridge the gap that there is not that much difference between whomever and "you people".

[Jade Fox]

2. Ya done good....

You saw that he basically agreed with you, listened, and made a connection
with him where you saw it was possible.

Good work.

[Panda1]

4. Good advice...thanks

Sometimes we might appear too strident and miss the fact that others are really on the same side. They just don't know how to express it. Thank you for taking the time to listen to that man and to find common ground.
Well handled.

[uppityperson]

5. Exactly

"you people" are just running around complaining and how does that help?

Stop, listen, acknowledge/thank, clarify, listen, respond. Have a discussion and show that you are thinking and trying to come up with solutions to problems, involving the other person. You might just learn something also.

[I Have A Dream]

6. Nice post! n/t