Neighbor is Mentally Ill, What Should I Do?

[specimenfred1984]

My next door neighbor has a history of acting very strange and calling the police for nothing and now she's decided to repeatedly put her trash can in the middle of the street and leave it there.

Yep, it's insane, I know. Seriously, any ideas about what to do would be greatly appreciated. Talking to her is useless.

[NoSheep]

1. Call a county social worker? I suppose that is where I would start. Sad.

[Conservativesux]

7. Call Adult Protective Services in the county pages.

[koopie57]

2. does she have any kids who should know about this?

[LeftCoast]

3. Any way to get in touch with relatives?

Sounds sort of like dementia. Is she elderly?

[LaurenG]

4. Does she have any family members you can contact?

It sounds like she may be in need of some help. Medication adjustments are probably in order. The police can take her if she is a threat to herself or others. Also, sometimes they will try to contact her MD to see what he'd like to do. I'm sorry. That's a sad thing.

[hiley]

5. just move the trash can

and sooner or later she will move on to something else.
or talk to social services.:shrug:

[Degtyarev]

9. I agree

if that is the only harm she is doing I don't really see a problem.

[specimenfred1984]

13. I've Done That Several Times

Today, I watched her angrily shove the recycle bin into the middle of the street then roll the trash can out there too.

Someone else had moved them off the street this time, a lot of people walk and run on this street.

Last weekend, some vandals came by and rammed the can a few times with their car and around 1:30 am.

[lonestarnot]

17. Oh geez.... can't you call her social worker?

[Degtyarev]

18. yes but

it's your neighbour. I would put the trashcan where it belongs. And also talk to her and tell her that she needs to put it where it belongs. If this continues for I long time I would ask the police to tell her where to put the trashcan.

[Degtyarev]

21. I mean

my neighbours probably think I am insane too. Or that I drink heavily. It's not up to them to decide or take actions. I am not their family. If I do stuff that is not allowed they will talk to me and/or call the police. If they are decent people they will warn me before calling the police.

[Conservativesux]

6. Call the police to make sure she doesnt have any firearms in the house.

If she is on medication for mental illness she should not have access to firearms, period.

[rocktivity]

14. The man who shot Dimebag Darrel Paul was a paranoid schizophrenic

who was medically discharged from the military. His mother had given him the murder weapon as a gift nearly a year earlier, but didn't attempt to retrieve it.

:headbang:
rocknation

[chookie]

23. You'd be surprised

You'd be surprised at how common relatives tolerating or otherwise enabling seriously mentally ill persons to keep or even hoard dangerous firearms. It boggles the mind. There is nothing in the laws of most states to prevent them from buying weapons.

[rocktivity]

26. If only his mother had TRIED to get the gun back

I realize that the guy wasn't a minor--I realize that legally, maybe there WAS nothing she could do. But she should have at least tried to get that gun away from him.

:headbang:
rocknation

[Conservativesux]

38. Nutcase in Nevada City, CA shot 3 people dead. His brother was a cop

who knew he had the guns.

He was being treated for paranoid schizophrenic behaviors at the local mental health county outpatient facility, and yet no one bothered to take his guns away from him.

He walked into a Denney's and killed the manager, then went back to the County mental health clinic that was treating him and shot two more county workers there dead.

His brother was a police officer who work only 40 miles away in Sacramento, CA and knew he was an sick, possibly dangerous person who had guns in his possession.

[maddezmom]

8. first thought cal social services..2nd thought

is there some sort of issue of speeding vehicles? Perhaps she thinks it'll slow them down. :shrug: But I suppose you can't or don't want to ask her.

Good luck.

[specimenfred1984]

11. Yes, Cars are Going about 50 in a 25 mph Speed Limit

That's a good guess but, these people never go into the street. They never walk their abused dogs and their front door is about 70 yards from the street.

It's bizarre.

[specimenfred1984]

10. Thanks for all Replies

She's young - mid 20s, married and husband drinks heavily. They have 2 dogs that they are starving to death. The dogs ribs are showing after several months of ownership.

2 weeks ago, a pet sitter came by and was so worried she called Animal Protection. They said they couldn't take the animals as they were at least being fed once a day.

When I've approached the woman, she demonstratively walks away in a huff before I can even complete a sentence. The husband rarely leaves the house other than to go to work, work is my guess.

My wife and I fear some insane aggression towards us or our dog if we get involved however, I am not going to just ignore it, I can't.

Thanks again for any suggestions.

[Wcross]

15. It sounds as if the dogs have worms.

If they are indeed being fed once a day and still are showing ribs.
I don't know if you can really do anything if the woman isn't endangering the public. I guess you could try to contact a relative to discuss your concerns. I am willing to bet there is a bigger substance abuse problem than just alcohol.
Sorry I couldn't come up with anything more.

[proud2BlibKansan]

31. I would call Animal Protection again

and keep on calling until someone does something. Sometimes public agencies finally respond just to get you off their back. So it never hurts to keep calling and calling.

[Conservativesux]

40. If you call too often and you are mistaken, they will send the police to

"Talk" to you about your problem. If you give a false name they wont respond.

Happened to some folks who didnt like a close relitive of mine, so they pestered the A/C people often, for no good reason and the sheriff came out and told them if they didnt stop the calls they woul be arrested next time he came back.

They stopped calling. :)

[proud2BlibKansan]

43. But this is not a false problem

big diference

[Old_Fart]

33. "Go to a pay-phone and call them back out"

Don't tell them that you called before and say that she is abusing the dogs. Starving a dog is inhumane and she doesn't deserve to be a pet owner.

[crispini]

12. I don't know about social services in your town,

but here, if the person can still largely feed and care for themselves, and if the person doesn't want help, they can't/won't get involved. We have a "hoarder" in our neighborhood who slowly, over a period of months, builds up a yard full of "stuff" and refuses to get rid of it despite numerous calls to code enforcement. After it got really bad (rats, etc.) and was worked through the judicial process, the judge ruled that the city could take possession of her house for a day and send in the sanitation people to haul it all off.

A few months go by and she's started it all up again. She clearly has something wrong, but she doesn't want help and she can care for herself, so there really is very little that can be done.

[crimson333]

16. that is the way it is with all adult protective services

they will only get involved if she can not care for herself or if she is being abused.

at least thats the way it was when I worked in adult protective service

[DemoTex]

19. I have a neighbor here in the mountains with bi-polar disorder.

He does OK when he is on his medications. I hope he is well medicated now, because I just sent him a past-due notice for his 2005 road maintenance fee (I am the treasurer of the property owners assoc.). A few years ago he showed up at a board of directors meeting drunk, pissed, and carrying a handgun. At least he wasn't crazy enough to use it. In fact, we have a board meeting tomorrow morning. :scared:

[Mend]

20. The paranoia might be due to drugs,

such as methamphetamine. Keep calling the police. I care more about the dogs....please keep calling Animal Control. It is not enough to feed once a day, you have to feed them enough so that they are not emaciated.

[CountAllVotes]

22. I HAD a neighbor(s) that were mentally ill

It was an odd situation at best. Every person that lived in this place was either crazy or out of it on booze, etc.

To make a long story short, this women (about 60 years old) decided one day that the father of her grandchild was molesting her. She went out, bought a handgun and blew the father away point blank range. She is now in prison for life.

I knew the woman was gone in the head. What could I do? Nothing being she had not really done anything technically speaking as far as living next door went.

It takes what it takes with these types. Eventually she'll blow it badly, bad enough the the law will become involved. Until that time, my advice to you is to STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS WOMAN.

As others mentioned above, she may have a gun or something. You never know.

[Wcross]

24. Good advice CountAllVotes!

I second the stay away from her idea.

[CountAllVotes]

25. yep, that is what I did

I let her stand out there in the middle of the street saying things like, "If I hear the words "bleeding heart of Jesus" again I'm going to puke! I ignored her and went inside. She was truly sick in the head and the eyes on the woman, OMG, you could tell she had a major screw loose in the head. Hence, I avoided her at all costs (if I saw her outside, I would not go out until she was gone). It was like waiting for a pot of boiling water to erupt I thought at the time.

Her grandson was outside playing with a toy gun one day with another kid on the block. I said, "Gun are NEVER a toy!". I got my ass reamed for saying that and recounted other gun "incidents" I have witnessed in the past.

I moved from that place and the murder occurred about 3 months later (it was all over the news).

And people wonder why I am anti-gun. That is because I had seen far too many people DIE FOR NO REASON because of some asshole with a gun that was either gone in the head or an accident (kid I grew up decided to play with Dad's hunting rifle hanging over the fireplace and blew his head off; parents came home to find the remains in the living room).

So yeah, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS WOMAN AT ALL COSTS. Go out of your way to AVOID her. If she is indeed crazy, she might start thinking things about YOU and YOU might be the next trash can found lying in the street but you'll be a dead human being instead.

What a sick society we have here in the USA. Guns should be outlawed and only allowed for officers of the law and no one else. I have believed this my entire life and the longer I live, the more convinced I am that this is the correct perspective.

:kick:

[Degtyarev]

28. I understand what you mean

but I wonder what your opinion is about knives...... or rocks.....

I am from a country where guns are not allowed, only in very rare exceptions, but they still kill people here. They punch them in the face so they fall and then kick their heads until they die.

It's not that I am a fan of guns or something, I was just wondering. Also because think I remember seeing in Moore's Bowling for Columbine movie that the gun laws in the US and Canada are almost the same but the crime rate with guns involved in the US is a lot higher.

[CountAllVotes]

35. knives or rocks

I have nothing against knives or rocks. Guns however ... a nightmare I have run up against at least a dozen times in my life - none of which were times that were good.

If one is truly worried, buy a baseball bat and keep it next to your door or bed, or wherever. Many things will deter a person besides a gun, like mace or pepper spray.

[Degtyarev]

37. of course.....

I just don't think that running up against a baseball bat would feel better than a gun. I don't see that much of a difference..... but never mind I don't mean to argue or anything.

[O.M.B.inOhio]

27. heard of NAMI? NAMI.org has lots of resources, mostly for family, though.

[proud2BlibKansan]

29. Any kids in the home?

If so, you need to call the cops or your city/county mental health bureau or the local child abuse hotline.

[CountAllVotes]

39. yeah that does a lot of good alright

Same place I mention above ... another case up the street - kid running up and down the block in the middle of the night with no clothes on and no one around. I called and told them of my concerns and also the concerns of a man that lived across the street re: this. Alls they would say was, 'WHAT ABOUT THE MAN ACROSS THE STREET!?" Jesus H. Christ!

Denial denial ... does nothing to solve such problems. Only makes them worse and allows them to continue.

These social agencies don't do jack shit IMO.

:kick:

[Piscis Austrinus]

30. I can feel you, bro

My next-door neighbor regularly calls code enforcement when anyone in the neighborhood has grass that she decides is too long. Or when she doesn't think someone is maintaining their property well enough. Or when she thinks someone doesn't care for their pets.
I'm sorry you live next to someone so worrisome. I do have a clue of what it's like. But all I can recommend is that you help her as kindly as you can, as much as you can, with as little said as possible. If she was your mom, you'd want someone to do that for her. There may be more going on than mental deterioration. She might have had her identity stolen (a real fear for someone on a fixed income with only their retirement assets in reserve). There may be threatening calls or letters. Maybe she's genuinely out of money. Maybe her family doesn't give a damn. Given your description, that may well be the case.
IF you have a neighborhood watch, you might want to bring this up for discussion as well. As long as she's not actually endangering herself or anyone else (trash cans in the street are an annoyance, yes, but not necessarily a danger) it would be dificult to get APS involved. If the situation worsens, though, I would confront her directly and let her know that her behavior might force such a call. If that doesn't work, at least you tried.
I know this doesn't seem like a strong, immediate answer, but sometimes strong, immediate action is the worst thing to do.

PsA

[Cleita]

32. I you know any of her relatives who seem reasonable, I would

tell them. Sometimes all it takes is for family to intervene and get her the help she needs. If not, getting social services involved seems like the best solution.

[Fire Walk With Me]

34. They voted republican? I'm so sorry to hear that.

Trash is the least of our problems.

[KerryOn]

36. I had a similar situation with our neighbor.

If she is not breaking the law there is not much you an do. If she threatens you, walks down the street naked, trespasses or something similar then by all means call the police.

In most states her husband would have the only legal means to forcibly get her some help.

The best chance you have is to contact her family. We started by talking to other neighbors. See what your neighbors may know about her family. If they can't help then start with the phone book. In my case I did not know my neighbors name, but I was able to obtain her name by looking up her address at the county web site that shows owners of properties.

Good Luck.

[flordehinojos]

41. when a friend's husband was in some advanced stage of Alzheimer's Disease

she would put out the trash on trash pick up day ... and he, unbeknownst to her, would carry the trash can still filled with trash right back inside--when she caught on, or realized it was a lost cause, she'd wait for his adult day care people to pick him up, and then she would take the trash outside.

no moral to the story here ...somewhat perhaps off topic but your post reminded me what dementia did to my friend's husband, which, in their case, it was the opposite of what your neighbor has done.

[GoldenOldie]

42. Thanks to Ronald Reagan even family members can not do a thing to help.

It was dear old demented Ronnie that let all the mentally impaired free to roam the streets. The reasoning it was against their civil rights to lock them up.

[Moderator]

44. Locking.

While the original poster was not specifically asking for personal medical advice, which we always lock and refer to more appropriate real time resources, this seems to fall into that category - call a local professional.

Thanks for your understanding.