GEORGE W. BUSH: Do you like riding bikes, Stretch?
LANCE ARMSTRONG: I do. In fact, I won the Tour de France seven--
BUSH: That's Tour De Freedom. Hey Stretch! Guess what?
LANCE: What's that, Mr. President?
BUSH: My ranch is 1,600 acres. We can ride for 17 miles without leaving my property.
LANCE: That's amazing.
BUSH: You betcha. Check it out: I could give away 600 acres to homeless people and I'd still own 1,000 acres of land.
LANCE: Okay.
BUSH: But I wouldn't give away an inch. See, my advisers made it so that I can own a 1,600 acre multi-million dollar estate and still seem like a man of the people. 'Sides, homeless people are mostly insaners.
LANCE: They are?
BUSH: They are what?
LANCE: You just called homeless people "insaners".
KARL ROVE VIA EARPIECE: Abort! Abort! Change the subject! The yellow rubberbands, go!
BUSH: Last year, my opponent Senator Lost-In-A-Landslide wore one of your yellow rubberbands. I hope you don't mind that I don't wear one.
LANCE: They're actually bracelets for--
BUSH: Too faggy.
LANCE: What?!
KARL ROVE VIA EARPIECE: NO! Deneuralyser, now!
(President Bush brandishes a "Men in Black" deneuralyser and flashes it in Lance Armstrong's face.)
BUSH: Hey Stretch, you know what the nickname for my bike is? I call it "Stretch". What's your bike called?
LANCE: It hadn't occurred to me, Mr. President. I, um, I suppose I can call it "Bikey".
BUSH: Damn. That's a good one. Regime change! My bike is now called "Bikey"! And you're starting to pass me. Step off, Stretch.
LANCE: Sorry, Mr. President. I forgot the rule.
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