100 People Who Are REALLY Screwing Up America -- #5 John Thune

[Chichiri]

This is all you really need to know about John Thune: he is a United States Senator who wanted to cancel "Friends" because it didn't promote "family values." Okay?

Republicans acted like it was some sort of major victory when Thune ousted Tom Daschle from the U.S. Senate in 2004. Personally, I don't see why -- the Republicans were more than welcome to that particular victory, for all the good that Daschle was doing the Democrats. And what did the GOP get for this "major upset?" A good-looking, not-very-bright Midwesterner with no experience or record of accomplishment in Congress, who is a friend of the ultra-right wing.

In short, they got the next Dan Quayle.

Seriously. It's no coincidence that, at Free Repubic and other thought vacuums, they've already been discussing Thune's prospects for Vice President. But it's understandable if friends of Quayle take offense at that analogy -- after all, Quayle did at least make an effort to not lie.

Despite his inexperience and right-wing fruitcake tendencies, Thune is remakrably adept at America-screwing. After appearing on "Jeff Gannon"'s internet "radio show," his campaign paid people to support and defend his political views under the pretense of being an "objective reporter" or "independent blogger." He seems to have had this idea a year or so before Karl Rove ever did. He also bribed students with a chance at a $300 gift in exchange for their support. Republicans, of course, didn't make a peep about this -- even as they threw the mother of all tantrums when Michael Moore, as a joke, offered ramen noodles and clean underwear to students in exchange for their promise to vote (for anyone). Thune wasn't joking.

One of his major selling points as a Senate candidate was as follows: Thune is a Republican. Bush* is a Republican. Therefore, Bush will be more likely to listen to Thune when he asks that Ellsworth Air Force Base not be closed. Ellsworth is a giant source of both revenue and pride for South Dakotans, and its being in danger of closure hit the state rather hard. That, as much as anything, is the reason why Thune was elected.

But it seems he couldn't get the job done, as Ellsworth is on the list of military installations that the Pentagon wants to close. He is currently running around Capitol Hill like a headless chicken, trying to prevent the closure, but it is not recorded that he is having any effect. And it is notable that, when Tom Daschle offered his help, Thune certainly didn't say no.

This is your new Senator, South Dakota. You now reap what you have sown -- and the rest of us are reaping it as well.

[davidinalameda]

1. is this an insult to Thune or to Quayle

:shrug:

[Chichiri]

4. It's not an intentional insult to anyone

Just a statement of some of the facts, and my take on them.

[existentialist]

2. Thune

I've copied this, and unless I get a complaint within a few minutes I'm going to repost it in the South Dakota forum.

[Chichiri]

3. No problem at all.

Probably a bit late, but oh well.