Breaking: Pat Robertson Offends Wiccans, Turned Into Frog

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

Before& After

In a surprising development, the well-known Televangelist Pat Robertson has apparently been transmogrified into a large garden amphibian.

Speaking on his nation-wide Inspirational TV show, Mr.Robertson drifted into a blistering attack on pagans in general, and Wiccans in particular.

"Yes, friends, our beloved nation is under attack at this very moment. These followers of the so-called religion of Wicca are infiltrating our communities, schools and government. This great country was built on Christian values, and this pagan mumbo-jumbo has no part to play in it. They say that they worship the Earth! And just WHO lives at the fiery core of the Earth? Satan himself! They call themselves witches. But what did Jesus have to say about that? Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live!"

He went on - "These witches, these unholy pagans, are nothing more than devil-worshippers trying to gain some credibility for their evil superstitions. We have a group of good Christian ministers ready to pray to Christ Jesus right now to help turn turn these lost souls away from the path of evil. For every fifty dollars you send in, we can help salvage the damaged spirit of one Wiccan for Jesus! I beg you, please help us. There could be a Wiccan in your own town! This is the safest way to deal with the pagan abomination."

When a Michigan Wiccan coven heard this, it was more than they could take.

<snip>

More: http://www.abarnett.demon.co.uk/atheism/patfrog.html

(I wish I had done this.)

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. That would be cool except I thought Wiccans aren't allowed

to practice anything that might harm people?

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

2. I don't think this guy qualifies as "people."

Any ideas what he really is?

[flakey_foont]

3. That's correct

according to the Wiccan Rede...

harm none..........also, any evil done to another comes back to the sender threefold

[GreenPartyVoter]

16. Yes, those were the two things I was thinking of. Thanks :^)

[paineinthearse]

7. I think you're right

This post may be offensive to some members of the wiccan faith.

[Big Kahuna]

10. Don't worry about it.

We're pretty thick skinned :)

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

21. And I hear that skin is of scales as well?

Hmmmmmm?

:toast:

falling into a non mainstream religion as well, you have to develop both a thick skin and a sense of humor. Thanks for the words.

[Beaverhausen]

12. Robertson's evil will come back on him thrice

I'm sure of it.

[don954]

11. yes, there is,

'an it harm none, do as you wilt.

The thing is, its a very complex rule. Harm can be measured in different ways. There is also the concept of greater harm; that your inaction will cause greater harm than the small harm you must inflict for the higher good. Medicine is full of such cases, and Law Enforcement, and many other roles.

In this case, if Pat Robertson were turned into a frog, his harm would be offset by the great evil he is inflicting on our country.
:evilgrin:

BTW, we also tend to have a pretty good sense of humor, so we don’t get too offended by such..
:smoke:

[Branjor]

4. He doesn't have to be turned into a frog.

He already is one.

[Tace]

5. "Send Money," He Croaked

"Go to heaven!"

[KyndCulture]

6. Blessed Be!

[evil eggplant]

8. Wait a minute

Why give frogs a bad name?

Why not have him transformed into a nice, fat unflushed turd?

[jackstraw45]

9. Uh-oh, Robertson Frog better watch out for Dim-Son....

http://www.all-creatures.org/aip/nl-3nov2000-frogs.html

"`We were terrible to animals,' recalled Throckmorton,
laughing. A dip behind the Bush borne turned into a small lake after a good rain, and thousands of frogs would come out. `Everybody would get BB guns and shoot them,' Throckmorton said. `Or we'd put firecrackers in the frogs and throw them and blow them up.'»

...George W. ... was the leader among the boys who did it."

[NoPasaran]

13. Now that Roberston is a frog

I propose that he be confined to a cauldron of water and be used to determine whether that old canard about slowly increasing the heat until the water is boiling is true or not.

[punpirate]

14. Dunno about this...

... Robertson always struck me as more the toad type.... :P

[kodi]

15. In his god's own image

You shall have no other god before Me.

[sepia_steel]

17. I forget which word, but in place of the word "witch"

there was another word used in that verse before King James revised it. It didn't always say 'witch'.

[Technowitch]

18. Oh, that's a hoot. Thanks, Tom, for the laugh

:rofl:

-Technowitch
(Yes, a real Witch)

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

20. Thanks!

Every Wiccan I've had the pleasure to know has a great sense of humor.

TYJ- Just real

[kaygore]

19. Go, Wiccans!

Only good (threefold, at that) could come of such a transformation!