"Christian" video games

[rniel]

I heard they just came out with "christian" video games. They are supposed to be LESS violent than regular games they say.

Doesn't make sense to me. George bush and all his cronies are "christian" men of god and they are all knee deep in blood. Not imaginary video game blood, but REAL blood.

If these guys are the real "christians" then shouldn't those "christian" video games be the most violent games out there.

And while I'm at it since when do "christian" clerics call for assasination of the president of another country.

Anyone seen Mel Gibson's violent "christian" movie.

Something doesn't fit here.

[mainegreen]

1. Christian Doom Clone

You are Noah and run around the ark feeding (thats the shooting replacement) animals. Lame FPS.

That is a real game.

[Minstrel Boy]

2. How does this sound to you?

I heard they just came out with "Islamic" video games. They are supposed to be less violent than regular games they say.

Doesn't make sense to me. Osama bin Laden and all his cronies are "Muslim" men of god and they are all knee deep in blood. Not imaginary video game blood, but REAL blood.

Maybe now you can imagine how your comment may give offence to some.

[rniel]

5. Well I don't care

I'm sick of it

Love thy neighbor, turn the other cheek, the meek inherit the earth

vs

Not I don't wanna pay my taxes, war, war, war, fuck the poor, those that speak for peace are evil

What kind of christian are you a "pat boone" or a "martin luther king"

[wli]

7. the Battle of Toulouse could be interesting

Al-Samh ibn Malik al-Khawlani vs. Odo of Aquitane could get interesting. Charles Martel vs. Emir Abd er Rahman is interesting, too.

Mostly on historical grounds, but also because the Arab invasions of France are a part of history that isn't really thought about much, so it's got a rather unique flavor.

Seriously; armchair warrior concerns aside, most competitive games have a substantial martial component. I don't take it to be as significant or horrific as most of the videogame critics do. Even chess is literally a war game.

[YOY]

10. Medieval: Total War

The game you just described.

Educational.

Very fun too.

[wli]

11. I've heard that series is very educational about history..

Unfortunately I don't deal with operating systems required to run it.

I hope there are rereleases on non-Microsoft gaming console platforms.

[YOY]

13. I like Macs too...but will never limit myself to one or the other

It is a wonderful series.

The little things they put in such as historical annotation to mention such events as the rise of the Cathars, the emergence and origins of the Hashishin, and the Christianification of Scandinavia (they've got some effect on gameplay as well) is proof that not all video games are equal in terms of useless violence. Then again violence can be fun too!

That and it's fun to hold back the Golden Horde while keeping the Turks (or the Byzantines/Russians/Holy Roman Empire/etc...) at bay.

[mondo joe]

3. MARTYR: Game goal is to be first to nail yourself to a cross.

That is all.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

29. Grand Theft Chariot. n/t

[walldude]

4. There have been a few of these over

the years. I can safely say that all the ones I tried sucked ass. I'd be happy to play a Christian game if it was worth a shit. The only reason they make these is there is a built in audience.

[JAbuchan08]

6. How's this for a christian video game?

God's Prophet: Judge, Jury and Executioner.

"Take on the role of the Biblical character of your choice as you slaughter your way through the enemies of God and conquer Canaan in this unique real-time RPG. Play as Elijah for his "bear-summoning" skill, as King David, or as any of a host of God's warriors each with their own unique abilities! With real-time combat and exquisite graphics for every decapitation!"

[wli]

8. ISTR hearing of a "Left Behind" video game

It sounded like someone not taken up in the Rapture is stuck fighting off NWO-style villains or some such. Rather contrived, if you ask me.

[Inland]

9. Sounds pretty old testament to me.

Prophets, Elijah, Canann, King David......

Maybe this thread is for flamebaiting the Judeos of the Judeo Christian Tradition.

[JAbuchan08]

14. are you trying to flamebait me?

The old testament was pretty violent. Frankly I think that's a rather offensive presumption as to my "motives" unless I'm reading you wrong.

[Inland]

16. Well, I don't know what your motives were

It seems pretty clear that the target was christians, but what you picked out was the biblical history of the hebrews and jews, not christians. If it matters, you took a shot at the wrong religion.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

17. Wow. All this time and I thought the Christians had both Old and New

Testaments.

Someone alert King James!

[Inland]

18. "Have them", yes. But one's old. One's new. See?

Really, for people supposedly having "fun" with religion, you really don't take a jab very well. Suddenly it gets very grim and serious.

I could get all educational, but it isn't worth it in a "fun" thread. Let's just say that in the new testament, the gods and prophets are *victims* of violence, and that it's pretty amusing for an American to criticize biblical history because it is as violent as our beloved first shooter video games.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

20. Oh please, "get all educational" on my ass! PLEASE?

(is that something like getting medieval on my ass?)

I am having fun in this fun thread!

It's a great game called feed the sanctimonious!

Your turn.

[Inland]

22. My goodness. "Sanctimonious" isn't all that cheery.

That would be, who, an American who thought he was commenting on christianity with a) jewish biblical history put into an b) american form of entertainment and THEN c) got all huffy when he thought I was accusing him of knocking jews instead of knocking christians? As if I should be apologetic for accusing him of being biased against the wrong people of the book?

Or maybe the one who tries to tell me that there are two books to the bible in a really boring act of pendantry, and not getting the return joke?

Ring up another THREE on the old irony meter.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

24. The game "Doom" isn't "cheery" either, but it's fun to play!

Just like "Feed the Sanctimonious!"

Falwell and Robertson are great bosses in the game.

I haven't seen anyone knocking anyone here. Just playing the game.


BTW, which bible are we referring to now? I've got a good library but the fantasy section is a little light.

[Inland]

26. Now, you're playing the same game as Falwell or Robertson?

Because that's another ring a ding on the irony meter, in that the game isn't "Feeding the sanctimonious" but "being sanctimonious".

And that game is fun to play, or at least that's what I infer from you and Falwell or Robertson. If it wasn't, you all would tire of it.

But as a spectator sport, I'm good with watching one inning.

[JAbuchan08]

21. Well to insult jews of course

:sarcasm:

Are you looking for a fight, or do you accuse people of anti-semitism based on what you impute to be their motives regularly? Are you denying that the old testament is extremely violent? If not :wtf: is your point? I wasn't aware that I made a "values statement" regarding Jews OR Christians. I was just innocently poking fun at the idea that bible based entertainment is naturaly "wholesome," and I was making my point by suggesting an alternate bible based entertainment.

I'm tempted to tell you to fuck off, but I don't want to be rude.

[Inland]

23. Yeah, well, whatever.

I don't know who you were poking fun at, given the subject matter, but if it makes you feel better that I acknowledge that you were trying to poke fun with a christian video game and not a jewish video game, fine.

It's a hypothetical christian game you were referring to.

[donco6]

12. Ha! Yeah, let's see that one.

And a strategy game - Help David kill Bathsheba's husband so that he can have her all to himself! Fun for all ages!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

15. Torquemada's Dungeon!!!!!

That ought to be a good one!

[Iris]

19. I wonder if they'll make one where the object is to assassinate Chavez?

[GreenPartyVoter]

25. Typical "Don't live in the world.. just take what it invents and fit it

to what you believe".

Don't get me wrong, there are always a few cases where people snatch up a secular thing and do justice to it with Christian overtones.. but it's rare. More often than not what you get is milquetoast and boring.

[Cocoa]

27. it's blasphemy

what the Christian Right really worships is war and torture and assassination, so putting violence in a game is like taking the lord's name in vain.

[Chovexani]

28. They've been around since the '70s

And without exception, they completely suck ass.