Disclaimer: I will
not be held responsible for loss of bodily functions due to uncontrollable laughter. (My sides still hurt, and I literally have tears running down my face from laughing too hard.)
I was deep into the Cafepress forums, and came across an announcement for a (then-) new shop, "Ameripup." The promise of a good laugh at the expense of a real moron prompted me to click the subject line:
L@@K W@W AWES@ME!!!!I was
not disappointed. In fact, I was even more delighted as the thread revealed the existence not of a mere moron, but a genuine
moran of the most extreme degree.
The thread begins with just another stupid spam-o message for this moran's shop, "Ameripup." It only gets good with the first reply to the moran from CP moderator HecticDMC -- which responds to each of the designs in the moran's shop:
<snip>
I won't comment on the quality of art of the design, but rather on the 10 points listed in text on the design. Check out the design and read along:
1. "Killed Saddam". Bush didn't kill Saddam. Saddam is still alive.
2. "Made Iraq pay for what they did to us on 9/11". Iraq? I thought it was terrorists that did it. Now it's the entire nation of Iraq?
3. "Captured Bin Laden". Bush didn't capture anyone - Bin Laden is still free.
4. "Lowered taxes". Not for me he didn't. Besides, Presidents don't raise or lower taxes, that's up to Congress.
5. "Left no child behind". That's a matter of opinion.
6. "Told them French where to stick it". I guess you could look at it that way.
7. "Made friends with the UK". We had good relations with the UK before Bush took office. That is not an accomplishment.
8. "Defended liberty". I guess you could look at it that way.
9. "Beat that idiot John Kerry". That's really a matter of opinion - the idiot part I mean. The margin of victory speaks volumes about how much Kerry isn't an idiot though. It wasn't exactly a victory of Reagan/Mondale proportions.
10. "Made the world safe". That's not really true. I mean, how do you define "safe"? People are still dying violent deaths all over the world.
I write this list not to start a debate, but to highlight a couple of factual errors - numbers 1 and 3 especially. While the rest are debatable... to a degree... those two points are factually erroneous.
One thing I'm curious about... why the pilgrim hat and the Abe Lincoln beard on the dog?
But, wait! It gets better! Moran replies:
Ameripup
Posted 08 August 2005 08:27 PM
I posted it here because I thought it would be a good place to promote my shop, obviously. That's what this topic is all about. I'm just trying to make a few extra bucks like the next guy.
As far as the differences between Saddam and Bin Ladan? What's the difference, a terrorist is a terrorist in my book.
The pilgrim hat is because Abe Lincoln was one of the Quakers also known as pilgrims in early B.C. American history. A lot of people don't know a lot of facts about him other than the cherry tree, but that is okay. Both the Nashidu hat (pilgrim hat as you falsely call it) and the Abe Lincoln beard represent America and the awesome republican party.
Later, when it's suggested that Ameripup is kidding, he replies, "Patriotism isn't a joke and isn't a matter I take lightly."
Btw, it's worth it to read the rest of the thread (there's a second page -- scroll all the way down for the link to page 2), if only for the response from user "somekindoferror" (which smacks the moran down with facts, and "Ameripup, if your attitudes find you in support of the President then that is your prerogative, as it is mine to find him vacuous, offensive, terrifying in the extreme, inhumane, and inhuman...").
Sadly, it appears that Moran-Pup has removed all the pro-* stupidity from his shop, and replaced everything with a single, semi-generic, inoffensive Yankee-Doodle-doggy sort of logo... which I'm sure no one but his mother would buy... if he has one.
The fact that he did take down all the pro-* stuff tells me he <i>wasn't</i> joking. This sort of idiocy, if done deliberately, and well (a la Betty Bowers, Landover Baptist, etc.), would have made for a GREAT shop!
Link to CP thread:
http://forums.cafepress.com/groupee/forums/a/tpc/f/784104/m/85110081Link to Moran-Pup's shop:
http://www.cafepress.com/ameripupP.S. You know, you can look at Moran-Pup and his ilk in one of two ways: You can be terrified at the astounding depth of stupidity out there... or you can -- as I do -- wish there many, many more just like him, demonstrating just what kind of mouth-breathing knuckledraggers the rest of the * supporters are associating themselves with.
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
