Shrub will lower gas prices at any moment! Here's how!

[Career Prole]

Jeez, guys! Not only did we forget Poland, but we forgot the spigot!

Bush said today that he would bring down gasoline prices by creating enough political good will with oil-producing nations that they would increase their supply of crude. “I would work with our friends in OPEC to convince them to open up the spigot, to increase the supply. Use the capital that my administration will earn, with the Kuwaitis or the Saudis, and convince them to open up the spigot.” Implicit in his comments was a criticism of the Clinton administration as failing to take advantage of the good will that the US built with Kuwait and Saudi Arabia during the Persian Gulf war in 1991. Also implicit was that as the son of the president who built the coalition that drove the Iraqis out of Kuwait, Mr. Bush would be able to establish ties on a personal level that would persuade oil-producing nations that they owed the US something in return.

Source: Katherine Q. Seelye, NY Times Jun 28, 2000

Hey Iran! Iraq! Venezuela! Mr. Bush says it's spigot time! He's calling in his favors! Hey! HEY!!
(crickets chirping)

Q: The Energy Secretary said he would not tap US strategic petroleum reserves in order to drive down prices saying those reserves are for emergencies. But given the shortages that exist, do you consider this an appropriate time to tap those reserves?

A: No, I don’t. I agree with the energy secretary that the strategic petroleum reserve is meant for a national wartime emergency. What I think the president ought to do is get on the phone with the OPEC cartel and say we expect you to open your spigots. One reason why the price is so high is because the price of crude oil has been driven up. OPEC has gotten its supply act together and it’s driving the price, like it did in the past. And the president must jawbone OPEC members to lower the price. And if in fact there is collusion amongst big oil, he ought to intercede there as well.

Source: GOP Debate in Manchester NH Jan 26, 2000

Great! See? Look at that hard-workin' guy!
He's already on the phone with the OPEC cartel saying he expects them to open up their spigots! One "goodwill gusher", comin' right up!
Any minute now...wait for it...wait for it...

Er...what's that you say, Mr.Bush?
Oh...you were actually on the phone to Abdul Aziz al-Hakim, the Shiite leader?

But I thought they weren't going to have any gushers at all over there for the foreseeable future because of your war thingie?

Huh? Oh...you weren't jawboning about oil? You were trying to jawbone a cobbled-together quasi-constitution?

Damn. How'd that work out then?

(Oil quotes courtesy of Issues2000.org)

[Barak And Roll]

1. Tomorrow's Headline:

"Bush exercises diplomacy skills, gas now $5.00 per gallon."
Time to spend some of that non-existant "political capital" he kept telling us about...

[Career Prole]

2. He's got good will to burn.

That whatchacallit...gun-barrel good will.