SUV (Simply Unsellable Vehicle) BLUES

[Dawgs]

"With their 16-year-old son learning to drive and family trips to Tennessee costing $75 with every fill-up, the time became right to sell. Expecting it to be snapped up quickly — SUV sales surged 11 percent in the first quarter of 2004 — the couple bought a classified ad that practically gushed: Eddie Bauer, 4WD, 137K, one owner, 3rd rear seat A/C VG condition $8,500."

"But in the last month, the response has been underwhelming. The Curnicks have had just two lousy phone calls — one from a nosey reporter."

"When SUVs do sell, they're forced to settle for less money than the vehicle category fetched last year, said Alex Rosten, manager of pricing and market analysis for automotive Web site Edmunds."

[jackster]

1. HA HA HA

LOVE IT

:applause:

[LiberalEsto]

2. How simply awful! The poor things!

:nopity:

[bustarbusto]

3. Suckers

Serves them right. Now try selling it at $6.00 / gallon.

[MN ChimpH8R]

4. BWAH HAHAHAHA!

No sympathy for these chumps.

[physioex]

30. Finally some good news......LMAO....EOM

[yardwork]

5. Maybe if they took the "w" sticker off the back of it......

[smbolisnch]

25. Yes because dems don't drive SUV's.

You know, I hate them as much as the next guy (SUVs), but this broadbrushing is insane.

[BamaGirl]

6. My heart bleeds

No, not really. :eyes:

[hatrack]

7. Well, dumbasses, how do you like your brawny SUV now?

Lots of luck selling that sadiron on wheels, boneheads!

[madeline_con]

8. HA fucking HA

The gass guzzling spoiled hogs deserve it!

[BrotherBuzz]

9. Me thinks the Ford Exhibitionist will make a great room addition

Heck, any handyman equipped with a skilsaw and a couple rolls of duck tape could make the conversion in an hour or two. Just back that sucker right up to the house and let loose. :)

[mikeytherat]

10. "Dammit! We keep on polishing this turd

but no one wants to buy it! Why don't you want our crap?"

Ooh, an Eddie Bauer edition -- very studly (I can park it next to my Orvis Jeep Grand Cherokee).

mikey_the_rat

[lectrobyte]

11. Is there any Ford SUV with 137K on it that's worth $8500? I haven't

bought a car in a while, but that seems insane to me. I'm assuming that's an Explorer, but I guess it could be an Expidition, also, right?

[LeftyMom]

12. Who'd pay $8500 for a vehicle with 137K on it?

Even if it weren't a gas hog, for an american car that's usually well into the range of iffy reliablity.

[callous taoboy]

13. Every other Tee Vee commercial is macho SUV crap. Suck wind

and dry up and quit urging us to buy what we never needed to begin with.

[lildreamer316]

14. It's so nice

to have two cars paid off that are not SUVs and function very well for my family's needs.
Sorry; just had to be thankful for a moment. return........

[TheCowsCameHome]

15. How sad.,. Why don't you just junk it

[mitchum]

16. That "W" sticker will stand for "What The Fuck Was I Thinking?"

[newblewtoo]

26. GOOD ONE n/t

[krkaufman]

17. Good item. Got a URL/link? n/t

[ovidsen]

39. Here's the link

You'll probably have to do the old "bugmenot.com" trick to bypass the Atlanta Journal-Constitution's inane registration policy, but it's worth it for the giggle. For example:

Canton home builder Hal Woods is selling his own Chevy SSR performance truck as well as a 2004 Cadillac Escalade SUV owned by his boss. He's posted both online. He's bought a classified ad. The interest for either after two weeks?

"You're it," he tells a reporter. "Absolutely none. It's a wonderful time to buy. It's a horrible time to sell."

http://www.ajc.com/news/content/living/0905/01suvwoes.html

[OhioChick]

18. Good......... n/t

[TheCowsCameHome]

19. I wouldn't pay that much if Eddie Bauer himself was included

Great investment, wasn't it?

Bwahahahahahahahaha.

[TheCowsCameHome]

23. TeIl him I 'll give him $50 and donate it to plug the levee.............

No. Make that $75 if he leaves the "W" sticker on it.

[Dawgs]

20. Sorry...

http://www.ajc.com/news/content/living/0905/01suvwoes.html

[Arugula Latte]

21. YEEEEAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!

About f'n time!

[TexasLady]

22. Reminds me of those big ol tanks from the 70s

The really big cars with V8s in them. But hey, by the 2020's, they might be sold as classics, right?

[Libby2]

24. I hope they have to eat it

I know that's ugly, but that's the way I feel right now.

[flamin lib]

27. Ya' know what? All you assholes should be on Freerepublic.

Except for SMBOLISNCH, every one of you should (edited to keep from being deleted). You've got exactly the same attitude as anyone of those freeper idiots which puts every one of you on the same level.

Me, I'm superior. Me, I'm good as God. You made a different decision so you are shit.

Makes me embarrassed.

Any of you superior lifeforms stop to consider that your precious, ecologically correct tiny 1.8L won't do what some people need to do on a daily basis?

I know it's warm and dark in there, but pull your head out and look around.

[Ron Green]

29. "On a daily basis...."

I submit that most people who drive these big, dumb vehicles DON'T need to haul lots of stuff on a daily basis. OK, some people have businesses, and need them for that, and there's no problem there. But I'll bet that 90% of this "Oh, I have to carry all this and all that, and we live 20 miles up a dirt road where it snows all the time, and ... blah, blah....." is just crap.

In the transportation mix for the future: If you need to haul something, rent a truck. If you need to haul it every day, you're in business. Get a taxpayer ID#.

[flamin lib]

33. I've got the tax#, but it goes beyond that, Suppose you have 3

kids and a dog. Suppose you're still married like most of us blues are. That's five seats minimum, possibly one with a child seat.

Your options are a full size SUV or a mini van.

Ya' know what? The mpg difference between an anemic 2.2L mini and a full sized SUV is almost naught.

Why?

Both are classified as "light trucks". Light trucks have a different CAFE standard than "cars".

A v8 in a full sized car gets 29 hwy. In an PU truck it gets 17. Same weight vehicle, same horsepower, less performance 0-60 in the truck. Mini Van with 2.2L may get 19 mpg.

Why?

Car meets CAFE for passenger cars and has about $50 more in electronics to make the engine economical. For instance, the truck fires the injectors in banks of four. Half the fuel puddles in the intake, half arrives too late for peak firing. The car fires each cylinder independently at peak timing.

Save $50 a vehicle times 1.5 million vehicles and you're talking real money. The guy in charge of the 1997 T bird design team was fired because it came in $50 over budget. $50 on a $20,000 vehicle.

Just lighten up on people who for whatever reason drive what they drive.

Okay, ready for the first one to cast a stone . . .

[Tesha]

35. Cut the crap.

> Mini Van with 2.2L may get 19 mpg.

SUV defenders *ROUTINELY* understate the mileage that minivans get.

My 10 year old, 3.8L, *CALIFORNIA EMISSIONS* Dodge Grand Caravan
routinely gets 25 highway.

And I once had a 1.44L sub-compact that towed a boat (a Hobie 16)
very happily.

Tesha

[Canuckistanian]

37. "anemic 2.2L"? Dead giveaway there, dude

Admit it, you're only driving one for the POWER, dammit, the AWESOME HEADRUSH of POWER, and NO-ONE's gonna take that away from me!

Yes, I can look down on the puny mortals in their pathetic tin cans and LAUGH, Ha-Ha!

[jmowreader]

38. A 2.2l IS anemic in a minivan

Try getting caught behind one...or working for a dumbass who bought one to deliver skids of printing.

[TheCowsCameHome]

31. Yeah, like the 110 lb. wife with a 3 ton SUV driving to get groceries

DUH!

Enjoy the $4 a gallon gas, sport.

[greenbriar]

28. I wouldn't pay 500 dollars for anything with that much miles on it!

shit it is over used already

suv, moped what ever...its too many miles

[leesa]

32. Too bad they are probably going to be repossessed, otherwise

the dopes that bought these things might have a place to live when they lose their houses in the coming depression.

[chomskysright]

34. How many soldiers/ gallon does your SUV get?

[Lindacooks]

36. SUDDENLY USELESS VEHICLES is also a good one.