What exactly does freaking Homeland Security do, anyway?

[Jade Fox]

It's a safe bet they are not focused on responding to natural disasters.

We haven't had any serious terrorist scares since 9/11, in spite
of the Bush Administration beating the drum of terrorism into
the ground. A freeper would likely say we have had no terrorist
incidents because Homeland Security was on the job. After last week,
that argument can be dismissed, I think.

One wonders if Homeland Security isn't just an excuse for a
bunch of Federal law enforcement types to make big salaries and
throw their weight around. Oh, and decide those silly color warnings
that no one even bothers to make jokes about anymore.

[htuttle]

1. They're in Marketing

Very lucrative career nowdays.

[Hubert Flottz]

2. Screw Up!

Provide jobs for republican hacks and yes men.

[cry baby]

3. They certainly aren't securing the homeland.

[unsavedtrash]

4. stand around with their fingers up their asses

[Fleshdancer]

5. kiss ass and spend money?

beyond that, I have no idea.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

6. "An Excuse ... to make big salaries"

you've got it in one.

[Wizard777]

7. Color calisthenic to scare Bush's polls up. Condi will be the first to tell

you. Bush's popularity is a matter of national security. When ever Bush feels insecure he starts killing Americans. Well she sublimates and paraphrases that. But the message is still loud and clear.

[killbotfactory]

8. Hand out money to their rich friends, apparently

It sure as hell is not going to planning

[earth mom]

9. All they do is take OUR money and waste it!

:grr:

[etherealtruth]

24. That's the only explaination I can think of n/t

[Matariki]

10. um, spy on citizens who give a shit about our nation?

[sundog]

11. apparently nothing, as we have witnessed this week

[ordinaryaveragegirl]

12. Profilers

If you're a immigrant or minority, look "different," or not a RW fundie, you're under the gun.

[sundog]

15. well, profiling comes in very handy at times like these

:eyes:

[Zynx]

13. They're good at graft and corruption

[RBHam]

14. What did the KGB do?

Think about it.

[Generic Other]

16. Dink around with lights and issue phony alerts

:shrug:

[Lori Price CLG]

17. Give $$$ to the pharma-corpora-terrorists for useless, deadly vaccines.

[StellaBlue]

18. It's pretty obvious

They funnel our tax money into the hands of private corporations.

Oh, and silence, stonewall, and intimidate.

[not systems]

19. Direct contracts to political cronies and beg for more money...

to share with the people who make stun guns and other
torture devices.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

20. They scan this board, watch it. nt.

[Buns_of_Fire]

25. Hi, Agent Mike!

:hi: Long time, no see!

<Response redacted due to national security concerns>

Yeah, I know. Hey, just out of curiosity, why aren't you down there in New Orleans securing the Fatherland Homeland?

<Response redacted due to national security concerns>

That's a shame. Have they shifted you around again to help protect President Puddle Puppy from his many worshipers?

<Short 'n' pithy response redacted due to national security concerns>

I'm sorry. I know that must suck, what with the throngs of people lining up just to touch the hem of his robe these days.

<Response redacted due to national security concerns>

Yeah, I know I was being sarcastic. I apologize. Hey, where DOES all that Fatherland Homeland Security money go? I won't tell anyone.

<Response redacted due to national security concerns>

You're shittin' me. ALL of goes for black Magic Markers to redact documents that might embarrass that shithead? I thought so.

<Response redacted due to national security concerns>

No, I won't tell anyone. Stop by the Lounge for a drink later, okay? Later...

[Loge23]

21. hassle you at the airport (nt)

[Cleita]

22. They intercept and read your mail, your telephone and

computer habits, legally. That way if you become a threat to commander Bunnypants, they will have something to charge you with. It has nothing to do with our security, but theirs. Think Gestapo. Also, the Patriot Act is coming up for renewal. I bet they try to sneak it through while no one is looking if they haven't already.

[shanti]

23. they suck the money

right out of our pockets, that's what they do. :mad: