In defense of us Dem parents who "brainwash" our kids

[booksenkatz]

Yesterday there was a poll here about W's legitimacy, and a sub-topic as to whether or not it is a good idea to teach our children about the evils of the man (and I use the term "man" loosely). Several of us posted that we feel it is our obligation to teach our children the sad truth. Here's what I posted, for example:

"My <4-year-old> son sees Bush on my computer screen from time to time (I don't watch TV anymore), and he always says, 'There's that bad man who wants to hurt the world and hurt people.' Hey, in a nutshell, he's right! He knows that this man is currently running things, and that mommy and other grownups are working very hard to make sure that he is sent far, far away so that he can never hurt anyone again. I don't say it in a way that frightens him, and I always stress that very soon, this bad man will no longer be running things. My husband (a Tom Daschle type of Dem), is horrified that I 'brainwash' our son this way. But I would have expected a good German mommy in the 1930s to have said the same thing about Hitler. So I believe it's what a good American mommy says in 2003."

Someone posted in the thread a concern about us teaching our children the ugly, naked truth. The concern was mainly that if we teach our children in this manner, they will not grow up to be able to think critically, to be able to make their own decisions, and in fact may even rebel against our teachings someday.

Very valid points, and I want to address them.

When children are young, they see things in black and white. My son just wants to know if someone is good or bad. I choose not to lie to him, but if someone is causing harm, I make sure he knows that something is being done to address the harm that is being caused. As he grows older, of course I plan to go into more depth about my feelings and about the issues, and I will actively encourage him to question me. I'm sure I'll learn plenty from him! But Dem values are my values, and I want those values to be his foundation.

Look, I see parents everywhere draping their children in the logos of their favorite sports teams; am I not allowed to do the same for my child politically? Especially since politics will affect his life far more than the win/loss record of a football team (well, unless he chooses to become a Lions fan, but that's beside the point). It's natural to pass on your values about everything big and small: religion, football, politics, books, movies, nature, travel, sex, etc. I think the key is how you do it. I think a responsible parent encourages questions and discussions about every one of these topics. The child is going to grow up to be his own person anyway, but at least you can lay out a strong foundation for him. I tend to think that unhealthy forms of rebellion arise when you shove it down their throats and give them no options and no opportunities for discussion, but I could be wrong.

Just wanted to show that teaching doesn't have to be brainwashing if you do it wisely.

[Caution]

1. great post

I agree with just about everything you say here and figured I'd throw in a quick two cents. Children typically follow what their parents say early on, but as they grow they learnto think critically and naturally rebel. The best thing to teach a child as they grow older is to think critically and to weigh both sides of an argument.

[booksenkatz]

10. My parents

are both conservative Dems. Both are highly opinionated and outspoken. I rebelled, I tried to be a Republican for awhile, but it just didn't work. So I suppose my ultimate rebellion was becoming a liberal Dem, LOL!

[Brian Sweat]

2. I think that instead of teaching kids that certain people are bad,

you should give them a strong sense of right and wrong and let them make up their own minds about people.

[w4rma]

7. I think folks should just be truthful about their opinions

If they think certain folks are bad, say it and explain why.

[elfwitch]

3. Hooray for you!!!

I feel the same way. I was brought up by a very progressive parent. My mosther gave me all the information available and let me decide what was right and wrong.

I have no intention to lie to my son about the way the world works. It may not be a rosy picture, but at least he will be prepared.

[mkregel]

4. I agree

and think we need more fighting moms like yourself.

If our elected officials had half the cajones and dedication you show, Bush might be stopped.

I'm doing the same for my now infant son.

[booksenkatz]

11. I guess I'm trying to be proactive

The further he gets immersed into this sick society of sheep, I feel that he must be armed, otherwise he'll get swallowed up in the commercial mantras and the mindless consumerism. I'm laying the groundwork now. I know I won't be able to offset all of it, but I'm hoping to offset a great majority of it.

Kiss your son, they grow up way too fast!

[noonwitch]

5. My niece says "President Bush is stupid"

She's 3. She hears us going off about him all the time. She also has a lot of compassion for the poor and got really angry when another kid at school told her she couldn't marry her friend when they grew up because he is black. She told him "I can marry someone who is green, or someone with polka dots. I could marry a purple girl if I wanted to!" My sister was so proud she almost cried when the teacher told her about it.

[lapislzi]

6. Keep it away from the personal

I try to stress to my daughter (9) that I don't "hate" Bush. I don't hate anybody. Bush is doing a very bad job as president. He wasn't elected, and he isn't taking good care of the country. He is probably not very smart, and we will work very hard to make sure he doesn't become president again.

(This is how I speak 9-year-old. I really don't talk this way all the time)

She gets the message...and she's a great little activist. She's even written to him about Iraq; most disgruntled that she never received a reply. See? Bush can dig his own hole. He doesn't need me! Go, Katie!

[booksenkatz]

9. Definitely agree!

I strive hard not to use the word "hate" in our house. But I do want my son to be able to identify something as evil if he sees it. The important thing is to know why it is evil, so I do my best to explain it to him at a level he can understand. For example, I tell him that this man was placed in charge of America when we did not want him to be in charge of America, and he is being very selfish and greedy and taking money that doesn't belong to him and sending our armies off to hurt people so that he can steal MORE money, etc. Obviously if my son were older, I'd be able to go into more detail as to why I feel the way I do.

I think Dem children have an advantage in that we DO talk to our children, we don't shove it down their throats with no questions asked, we don't expect them to shut up and toe the line. I'd be willing to wager that more Dem children remain Dem in their adult life than Repub children remain Repub... at least the thinking Repub children, LOL!

(Go Katie!)

[elfwitch]

8. In these uncertain times...

It is really hard to be a parent these days. you sit around and watch what they are doing so callously to our children's futures. We with sons worry that our sweet little boys will grow up to be shipped off to be killed in a meaningless conflict started by a coward and a cheat. We have to arm our little ones with knowledge. I'll take the label of "brainwashing" if it keeps my son alive and safe.

[lapislzi]

12. It's also about modeling the behavior you want to see

My daughter is aware of my political activities. It's the usual dinnertime conversation at our house! She sees me writing, faxing to my senator/rep, attending rallies, etc. She knows we don't just sit around bitching and complaining; we're prepared to take action. It's a powerful lesson, and I can see it already paying off.

This is "Advanced Citizenship," folks...but if we want to rear the next generation to be responsible citizens, we have to walk the walk.

[booksenkatz]

13. Yes!

The other day I was phoning up Sen. Levin's office, and my son asked, "Who are you calling?" I told him I was calling up the man who is helping Michigan fight against the bad stuff that Bush is trying to do (see, ya gotta keep it simple for the wee ones). He thought it was ultra cool and he listened intently to the conversation.

Because Sen. Levin does such a damned good job in representing my interests, I don't need to call him too frequently, LOL! Just once a month or so, to let him know that we're over here and that we're paying attention.
:D

[lapislzi]

14. 'course the flip side is...

she gets terribly emotionally involved because she can't detach the actions from the man. I have to keep hammering it home that although I think Bush is doing a terrible job, I don't hate the man.