Bush tries to write Poem, calls wife "LUMP in the Bed"

[Mari333]

At a gala Friday night kicking off this weekend's third National Book Festival, Mrs. Bush celebrated the written word in an age of visual media, thanking American authors for their "tales of mystery, history and heroism."

"A good book is like an unreachable itch; you just can't leave it alone," she said at the Library of Congress, repository of 126 million books, recordings, photographs, maps, manuscripts and more.

She revealed that President Bush had penned a poem for her when she got back from a five-day solo trip to Europe, where she attended a book festival in Moscow and visited France -- getting two kisses on the hand from French President Jacques Chirac. >>>>>>>



http://www.cnn.com/2003/ALLPOLITICS/10/03/bush.poem.ap/index.html

:puke:

[Iverson]

1. That was so darn stupid.

The man in the White House can't even write doggerel.

Also, if I wrote a poem to my wife describing her as a "lump in the bed," she'd probably be extremely hurt. What kind of person internalizes this as normal!?!?

:puke: :wtf: :puke: :wtf: :puke: :wtf:

[mddemo]

3. wifes nickname

No problem with Bush calling Laura the lump in the bed, Lots of couples have nicknames for each other that other people look askew at, i call my old lady the "trouble and strife" the ole"ball and chain" "her indoors" and number one nickname "monkey girl".

As far as i can see this is a non story.

[Skittles]

5. mddemo

remember our last REAL president? There was NEVER a "non story".

[thebigidea]

7. as far as I can see, this is pure Karen Hughes bullshit non-story

[Guaranteed]

61. "Monkey Learns to Print Words" n/t

[oxycontinrush]

41. WAY MORE info than I needed

Not terribly surprising, though.

[karlschneider]

47. But would your wife have made public something you had written, like

She's my ole ball of chain,
Likes to dance in the rain
And she's trouble and strife
Sharper than any knife
But she's her indoors
better than any whores
My special monkey girl
Makes my lips curl

-----------------------------------------

Yes, of course it's idiotic crap, but it's no worse than what * allegedly wrote.

ye gods.......

[Lisa]

59. would you announce her nicknames on nationwide TV, repeatedly?

Most families do have little in-jokes and stories, some of which they tell to close personal friends ... but blabbing to the press is a whole different story. Maybe your wife would have no trouble with you telling others (such as 30,000 DUers) your pet nicknames for her ... but not everyone else would be so mellow.

My family can be quite brutal with put-downs, but our little unwritten rule is that we don't do this in front of visitors (let alone strangers, and especially not if there's any chance they'll make it into print -- even if it's only Mrs. Jervis's gossipy Christmas newsletter!).

The Bushes have been in the public eye long enough to know that it's so easy for "jokes" to be misinterpreted, and put everyone in a bad light. The wife of one of our leaders (Mrs. Trudeau) was made to look like a complete airhead after she told reporters a bunch of intimate stuff about her husband the Prime Minister.

[soupkitchen]

12. I think the line, "The man in the White House can't even write doggerel"

Is one of the most revealing lines into the quality of this President I have ever read. Basically, his "poetry" proves he's not literate.
On the other hand, maybe we should respect the stark realism of his imagery, "A lump in bed." Maybe the truth is the truth.
Again, this is another incident where his judgement really has to be questioned. Did he really thing this crap was amusing?

[Paschall]

2. Karen Hughes is working overtime

But she can't prevent this shipwreck. Sheesh what sheer assholeness!

Laura Bush said: "President Bush is a great leader and a... (long, pregnant pause...) husband..."

Thanks, Laura. I was hoping you'd confirm that.

[Cocoa]

10. Karen Hughes

no doubt about it. George isn't writing poems, even bad ones. This is just an attempt to humanize Bush.

[Pocho]

4. IN HIS OWN WORDS

The poet laureate bush: "Roses are red/Violets are blue/Oh my, lump in the bed/How I've missed you.", "Roses are redder/Bluer am I/Seeing you kissed by that charming French guy.", "The dogs and the cat, they missed you too/Barney's still mad you dropped him, he ate your shoe/The distance, my dear, has been such a barrier/Next time you want an adventure, just land on a carrier.
"
61 words, Avgerage Word Length = 4.6, Longest Word. = 9.

[Maeve]

19. Gee, I thought it was DUBYA who dropped the dog!

Blame it on the lump! :eyes:

[Guaranteed]

62. Frickin' 1984.

That's what that is. Doublespeak.
Bringin up the damned carrier again too.

[GOPEC]

6. No wonder he didn't have time

No wonder he didn't have time to find the traitor in his midst. He was writing...

Maybe he'll get around to that leak thing now.

[bucknaked]

8. Your President, ladies and gentlmen!

Lord help us!

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. My God, that's just embarassing second-grade level shit

Now the world will really think we're as stupid as we are, if we're broadcasting this ignorant shit from our Resident.

I'm totally embarassed.

Hell, Nixon, Reagan, or Bush I - probably even Rush and hannity and o'Reilly - would be ten times as literate as that.

I hope that right after IDIOTWATERBOY ceases to occupy the white house, Laura finally divorces the Shitiot. (just made that word up). Not that I have much love for Laura, but at least she's literate, and it would be cosmic hilarity if she finally said, "You're just too stupid to be with any more, IDIOTWATERBOY Shitiot. I faked it through your fake presidency, but now I'm outta here."

[snippy]

11. I like "Shitiot." Reminds me of "shittohead."

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. LOL! Haven't heard Shittohead - I like that, too!

n/t

[mb7588a]

42. shitiot

Wow. That word is brilliant! Thank you!

I wrote my own poem to Bush in his style, check it out on http://www.mbare.org

[Rabrrrrrr]

46. Great poem!

Well done!

Now write one with shitiot in it. :-)

And welconme to DU! :hi:

[thebigidea]

13. hmmm

at first, I was nearly blinded by the sheer stupidity of that "poem" that I missed the following nugget:

"A good book is like an unreachable itch; you just can't leave it alone,"

that is so fucking idiotic, I can't come up with a witty comeback. Lets just pretend I said something DEVASTATINGLY funny.

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. OMG!

Your retort was devestatingly funny! (how's that for pretending?)

You're right about the itch thing - makes it sound like we read because an unread book is an irritant.

What a loser she is, and what a total loser he is.

"A good book is like a foot massage - it feels so good, you never want it to end."

That would be better than "A book is like a dose of the clap - once you are brought under its power, you can't let it go."

[bearfartinthewoods]

22. actually it rang a bell with me

a good book is like an itch. an itch will go away if you are busy or distracted until you think of it and then you have to attend it. a good book can be put down when must be but the instant you think of it you are drawn to attend it again.

now a GREAT book is like a foot massage :grin:

[GiovanniC]

35. It's an UNREACHABLE itch

That you CAN'T LEAVE ALONE? How does that work, exactly?

If the itch is unreachable, I am bound by its very nature of "unreachable" to leave it alone. But she also said that I CANNOT leave it alone, and I thusly enter into a horrible paradox from which there is no escape, eventually leading to a complete collapse of the universe.

This is why George W. Bush doesn't read. He is afraid the universe will collapse.

[Iverson]

36. good call, and also ...

... the unreachable itch could have a sexual subtext, particularly coming (pardon the term) from one who is extremely repressed.

[Paschall]

60. Actually...

...my thought was, "A good book is like an unreachable itch; a genuine literary masterpiece is like a full-blown infestation of scabies." :evilgrin:

[tishaLA]

30. Well, Pickles decided against this one

"A book is like a hemorrhoid itch; if you have to itch it, don't do it in public and stop asking your wife to scratch it for you"

[LittleApple81]

34. that is funny. n/t

[NicoleM]

14. That was pathetic.

Anybody else notice he blamed the Barney-dropping on her?

[SkipNewarkDE]

17. Carrier Landing reference

I think the line regarding the carrier reference is very telling so far as the mindset of this simpleton. You would think that he would have some sense of shame to not bring that up in light of the embarrassing aftermath in Iraq since "Mission Accomplished". Juvenile, really.

So this is what it is like when "the adults" are in charge.

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

23. That's what I thought too.

The other stuff you could say, well, they just have a strange sense of humor and some people might find it cute.

But that carrier joke makes it seem like he is the last person in the world to know the photo op was a big mistake. He must really be in a little bubble.

[gulliver]

48. Trying to laugh it off.

It's a joke trying to make a joke out of a joke.

[zeemike]

18. Dam a third grader could do better than that

Roses are red,
Violets are blue
When the shit hits the fan
I’ll hide behind you.

[robbedvoter]

20. Gaslighting the "missus" on dropping Barney, huh?

Unreacheable itch? Pickle is a poetess too!

[Cocoa]

21. can we please not take this at face value?

The flaws in this poem were put there by design. Bush is under serious attack, and any humanizing of him is done to soften the blow.

Bush doesn't write poems. He destroys people to further his political goals.

[Gin]

25. You guys are making this up.....He didn't write that did he?

this can't be true..

[truth2power]

24. Yeah, what Maeve said...

"/Barney's still mad you dropped him, he ate your shoe/" Sheesh!!

That figures. The idiot never takes responsibility for anything. :mad:

[nwstrn]

26. Where is Showtime?

I'm sure the producers of the Showtime movie will use this in their next Bush propaganda effort--

Mourning separation from his lovely wife, Bush sat down to write a moving love poem--words that will forever live in the hearts of Americans: "lump in the bed, my color is blue; Frenchie got a kiss, while I made do. Roses are redderer, violets are black, going solo isn't working, I need my lump back."

[ewagner]

27. Actually, I expect

to see this on RW talk shows touting what a "normal" "caring" guy he is.

On of the other posters was right (IMHO) this has Karen Hughes written all over it.....

[loudsue]

28. The staff at YALE must be sooooo proud!

Never misunderestimate the benefits of an Ivy League education. :wtf:

[Blue_Chill]

54. lol I hadn't thought about that!!!!

Yale's English department should issue an apology.

[LittleApple81]

29. She did not drop the dog. He did! And we have a picture to prove it!

How dumb can he be (or think WE are) that he thinks he can deny what is already published in color pictures with child witnesses! Remember the horrified faces?
I don't have the picture but I do remember...

[w4rma]

31. "Barney's still mad *you* dropped him, he ate your shoe"

-- pResident Bush, along with first lady, Laura Bush, and members of the Waco Midway Little League Softball World Series championship team, react as Bush accidentally drops his dog, Barney, Saturday, Aug. 30, 2003, at TSTC Airfield in Waco, Texas. Bush quickly scooped up the dog who was not injured.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=102&topic_id=90528

Thanks, LittleApple81! I fixed the link with yours. :hi:

[LittleApple81]

32. This link does not work but I found another one

[LittleApple81]

33. Anybody with newspaper connections here?

Knowing the level of sophistication of most Americans, this might be more damaging to Bush than leaking the CIA agent's name for revenge.

This is HIS WIFE and he is lying to blame her for the dog dropping. This could be made fun of, but pointing out that he will never admit the buck stops at his desk (or arms) for ANYTHING.

To us it might look just stupid, but for Americans who tout FAMILY VALUES it could be a big deal.

[NJCher]

37. doorknob, lump, whatever

Calling her a "lump" is denigrating but then that's no surprise, coming from someone with the depth and maturity of dumbya.

I also think the remark about how oblivious he is to the carrier reference is revealing. Good call. He is really insulated, it seems.

Rabrrr, that was hilarious, especially the first post!


Cher

[Rex]

38. Here's what MS Word thinks about El Chimpo

Passive sentences - 0%
Flesch reading ease - 87.2
Flesch-Kincaid grade level - 4.8

Even though the composition level is that of a fifth grader, it STILL couldn't have been our boy Bush - all the words are spelled correctly.

[neebob]

39. Okay, so now we know

where all those extra pills went. Otherwise all I can think of to say is damn, that's embarrassing.

[KittyWampus]

40. Junior Sagging Big Time In Polls-Trot Out Laura

Trying to get some empathy going...

[Malva Zebrina]

43. she dutifully trots out as ordered

scared to do anything different from what she has been programmed or told what to do. She knows what happens to those who get out of George's line. Has seen it upfront you can be sure. What a disgrace to American women! This fat assed, uninspired dressed, woman who has done absolutely nothing of any import with her own life but opportunistically marry into what what she probably thought could be her personal claim to fame and would support her inherent laziness (which they did, providing she breed something--anything--to satisy them)=and the verification of her perceived role in life--which was to birth something, yeah in her near old maid desperation, ANYTHING, even though it was the less than boy inheritors, and only girl twins, into the Bush family evil empire =money and influence, has got to be the most ineffectual first lady in history. That pasted, eternal, fake and practiced , painted red lipped, botoxed smile of an aging, obviously, sexless and unenergetic woman--(is it pasted permanently on her face?) She could care less , I suspect--because, essentially, this woman is quite lazy imo. LOL Doh--and we pay for her and her fat ass to represent us in some kind of a five day fling in Europe? Oh yeah-that will take away all the pain of the three hundred American families whose children were killed because of her husband's policies, and the thousands of innocent Iraqis that were murdered by her husband. Oh yeah Laura-- you can certainly smooth that over with your red lipped pasted on smile and your helmut hair style-NOT. I do not think you were welcomed as much as you have been in the past. Did you notice that?


What a waste of our money. What did she, this dumb woman do? Nothing. Not a damn thing. How much did it cost for her to take this vacation on our money?

[LittleApple81]

44. Wow... you are angry at the woman.

I have a relative married to a politician... I can attest that they "program" their wives... wearing out their personality and decision-making ability little by little... nothing dramatic, just do this today, a little more tomorrow, close your eyes to this, a little more tomorrow...
Finally, they are left as empty mirrors that can only reflect what is important to their husbands.
I am no excusing her, I am saying that she is not the first or won't be the last. People in politics are very often power-hungry monsters.

[KittyWampus]

49. Laura Probably Thought She Married Well At First

Then realised what she'd married into (she's not a dope) and realised there's no divorce in the mafia.

[Lisa]

64. remember when Bar slammed her for being an only child?

They were doing an interview together, and Barbara Bush made a snarky comment about how only children were "rotten", but that Laura was better than most of them.

If I had a mother-in-law like that, I swear I would run away.

VERY poor taste, and incredibly insensitive. For one thing, Bar knew very well that Laura herself had only had the one pregnancy (it happened to be twins, and was rather difficult), and her physicians said that another one might kill her.

[rucky]

45. Reading Bush's Poetry Is Like An Itch In My Eyes...

That I want to violently scratch out - along with my eyeballs - just before I plant my face in the puddle of fresh vomit that's on my desk right now.

Roses are red, Violets are blue
If bad poetry's a crime
Then damn right I'll sue.

:hurts:

[curse10]

50. Holy crap

I can't believe she actually read that shit out loud, in public!

[Wonk]

51. kick

[WindRavenX]

52. worst poem ever

The world has been FedEx'd to Hell with delivery confirmation.....:scared:

[fishnfla]

53. Pickles version: Shrub Limp In Bed

cant get no, satisfaction

[Merlin]

55. He's a way better poet than President.

This folks is a clear indication they are getting desparate.

[noiretextatique]

56. "lump in the bed"

*swoon* how endearing :eyes: geez...no wonder they are afraid of REAL poets :puke:

[FlemingsGhost]

57. So they're resorting to torture, I see.

Amnesty International should be alerted.

[Generic Other]

58. Bush blames the lump after Barney takes a dump?!!

I think the facts speak for themselves.

Shameless self-promotional scoop here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=253680

[sleipnir]

63. How Convienent

As a lit minor and poet (who knew it), I'd like to point out that the poem is intentinally skewed when it comes to meter. Someone has obviously planted this, along with all the subversive political statements. I could explicate this poem for you (I, like the Caterpiller, can explicate every poem ever written and a good deal that are yet to be composed)

....but I'm too drunk right now.