Some Much-Needed Light Humor: Great Dropout Lines for the Dems

[DoveTurnedHawk]

Match the candidates to the lines!

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THE DROPOUTS, ER, CANDIDATES
Carol Moseley Braun
Wesley Clark
Howard Dean
John Edwards
Dick Gephardt
Bob Graham
John Kerry
Dennis Kucinich
Joe Lieberman
Al Sharpton

CONVENTIONAL WISDOM
1. Remained a blip in the polls
2. Upset in New Hampshire
3. Upset in Iowa
4. Couldn’t play in the South and the West
5. Couldn’t put together a campaign structure
6. Wrong message for Democratic primary voters
7. Decided to seek re-election instead
8. Too young, thin resume
9: Great one-liners not enough
10. Couldn’t pay campaign bills

THE REAL REASON
A. After all that, it turns out the only conspiracy theory was his campaign
B. Had 57 varieties of his position on the war
C. Not enough to get support just from labor unions
D. Jon Stewart stopped inviting him on his show
E. Got cocky when he went from 1 percent in the polls to 2 percent
F. Was the flavor of the month — in 2000
G. Finally gave up hope for Karl Rove to return his calls
H. James Carville stopped feeding him lines
I. New York mayoral race, anyone?
J. Even the MSNBC ticker stopped caring

WHAT THE CANDIDATE WILL SAY
a. I want to spend more time with my family.
b. I want to spend more time with my wife.
c. I want to spend more time with my money.
d. I want to spend more time with the Internet.
e. I want to spend more time with my psychiatrist.
f. I want to spend more time with my ventriloquist dummy.
g. I want to spend more time with Hillary Clinton.
h. I want to spend more time growing eyebrows.
i. I want to spend more time with the Old Testament.
j. I want to spend more time with the New Testament.

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Answers here!

http://www.msnbc.com/news/974182.asp?0dm=C28MN

DTH

[DoveTurnedHawk]

1. Well, *I* Thought It Was Funny

;-)

DTH