Oh PLEASE let Bush visit Louisiana the week of the 19th!

[jmowreader]

Now that our National Hurricane Center is running and we've transferred out all of the things we are going to, I can go to Louisiana. I'll be down there the week of the 19th because there seem to be a drastic shortage of people who know how to order windows who can work--most of them lost at least part of their homes and at least two were killed.

Okay, quick question for you: Let us say, just for shits & giggles, that Bush fucks up and tries to do a photo op at the store I'm working at. According to safety SOP, I am not allowed to squash him with a forklift, drop a rack of lumber on his head or have any other little accident. Nor can I use him as a spotter because he's not an employee and he probably can't pass the piss test anyway. So what do I do with the SOB?

[Maple]

1. Well somebody told Cheney

what to do today.

It would sound even better in Bush's soundtrack

[kliljedahl]

2. Make sure the cameras are running live

Then give him the finger & say "FUCK YOU GEORGE DUBYAH BUSH"
ALA Darth Cheney today.
Make yourself a hero on national TV. It'll be bleeped on the rebroadcasts, but you'll be a DU hero,

[DancingBear]

3. Have him stand just slightly to your right at the table saw

Then give him a demonstration of how dangerous kickback can be. :)

[mcscajun]

4. You run for cover Now...'cause the Secret Service has NO sense of humor

where threat of harm of any kind to the President is concerned.

[jmowreader]

8. Oh, I wasn't going to DAMAGE the pResident

Perish the thought. I won't even leave a SCRATCH on him.

What I was thinking was, stick his ass out on the lot for a couple of hours and let him load shingles into people's trucks. He works out so much this should be easy for him, and the skills needed to do it are well within his mental capabilities.

Especially if I make a sign giving directions and tape it to the fork carriage so he can see it while he's loading:

Step 1: Pick up a bundle of shingles.
Step 2: Turn around.
Step 3: Set the shingles into the customer's truck.
Step 4: Turn back around.
Step 5: Keep on picking up bundles of shingles and putting them in the customer's truck until all the shingles are on the truck, or until we tell you to stop.
Step 6: Give people shopping carts until someone else needs shingles.

[mcscajun]

10. Nice job for him...but I bet he screws it up...

...probably puts the shingles in the shopping carts, that kind of thing.

[jmowreader]

11. I'd be afraid for people's axles

Some poor fucker whose only crime was living in Louisiana when Bush was in office would show up at the store in his S-10 to get some shingles. He'd ask for fifteen bundles of shingles because that's about all that will fit in an S-10 without destroying the suspension.

We'd bring a full skid--48 bundles--of shingles to the guy's truck, and Asshat would put the whole fucking thing in the truck. "But you said to keep loading until there were no more shingles!"

A full skid of shingles weighs more than an S-10.

And we couldn't get 'em back out because George's drool makes 'em too slick to handle and the venom in it makes it dangerous to wipe off.

[Witchy_Dem]

5. Tape "KICK ME, I'M AN ASSHOLE" to the back of his jacket.

[cynatnite]

6. Just give him the finger and make sure the press sees you doing it n/t

[dweller]

7. pack him in a box

send to some really distant location with "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL JANUARY 2009" stamped all over it.

on edit: feel guilty for what i wrote. So include a few bags of pretzels, too.

dp

[tanyev]

9. Yell loudly, "Are you the Antichrist?"