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Dem Agog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 11:55 AM
Original message
Being Poor
My dad sent this to me, uncredited. I don't know who came up with it, but read each and every line and think about what it means. I know I can personally identify with some lines, both from when I was a child and my father had to declare bankruptcy after my sister's death and medical bills wiped us out, and when I was later a low-income college student. My dad no doubt recognized those times as well in this piece.

===============

Being Poor
Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs.


Being poor is getting angry at your kids for asking for all the crap they see on TV.

Being poor is having to keep buying $800 cars because they're what you can afford, and then having the cars break down on you, because there's not an $800 car in America that's worth a damn.

Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away.

Being poor is knowing your kid goes to friends' houses but never has friends over to yours.

Being poor is going to the restroom before you get in the school lunch line so your friends will be ahead of you and won't hear you say "I get free lunch" when you get to the cashier.

Being poor is living next to the freeway.

Being poor is coming back to the car with your children in the back seat, clutching that box of Raisin Bran you just bought and trying to think of a way to make the kids understand that the box has to last.

Being poor is wondering if your well-off sibling is lying when he says he doesn't mind when you ask for help.

Being poor is off-brand toys.

Being poor is a heater in only one room of the house.

Being poor is knowing you can't leave $5 on the coffee table when your friends are around.

Being poor is hoping your kids don't have a growth spurt.

Being poor is stealing meat from the store, frying it up before your mom gets home and then telling her she doesn't have make dinner tonight because you're not hungry anyway.

Being poor is Goodwill underwear.

Being poor is not enough space for everyone who lives with you.

Being poor is feeling the glued soles tear off your supermarket shoes when you run around the playground.

Being poor is your kid's school being the one with the 15-year-old textbooks and no air conditioning.

Being poor is thinking $8 an hour is a really good deal.

Being poor is relying on people who don't give a damn about you.

Being poor is an overnight shift under florescent lights.

Being poor is finding the letter your mom wrote to your dad, begging him for the child support.

Being poor is a bathtub you have to empty into the toilet.

Being poor is stopping the car to take a lamp from a stranger's trash.

Being poor is making lunch for your kid when a cockroach skitters over the bread, and you looking over to see if your kid saw.

Being poor is believing a GED actually makes a goddamned difference.

Being poor is people angry at you just for walking around in the mall.

Being poor is not taking the job because you can't find someone you trust to watch your kids.

Being poor is the police busting into the apartment right next to yours.

Being poor is not talking to that girl because she'll probably just laugh at your clothes.

Being poor is hoping you'll be invited for dinner.

Being poor is a sidewalk with lots of brown glass on it.

Being poor is people thinking they know something about you by the way you talk.

Being poor is needing that 35-cent raise.

Being poor is your kid's teacher assuming you don't have any books in your home.

Being poor is six dollars short on the utility bill and no way to close the gap.

Being poor is crying when you drop the mac and cheese on the floor.

Being poor is knowing you work as hard as anyone, anywhere.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually stupid.

Being poor is people surprised to discover you're not actually lazy.

Being poor is a six-hour wait in an emergency room with a sick child asleep on your lap.

Being poor is never buying anything someone else hasn't bought first.

Being poor is picking the 10 cent ramen instead of the 12 cent ramen because that's two extra packages for every dollar.

Being poor is having to live with choices you didn't know you made when you were 14 years old.

Being poor is getting tired of people wanting you to be grateful.

Being poor is knowing you're being judged.

Being poor is a box of crayons and a $1 coloring book from a community center Santa.

Being poor is checking the coin return slot of every soda machine you go by.

Being poor is deciding that it's all right to base a relationship on shelter.

Being poor is knowing you really shouldn't spend that buck on a Lotto ticket.

Being poor is hoping the register lady will spot you the dime.

Being poor is feeling helpless when your child makes the same mistakes you did, and won't listen to you beg them against doing so.

Being poor is a cough that doesn't go away.

Being poor is making sure you don't spill on the couch, just in case you have to give it back before the lease is up.

Being poor is a $200 paycheck advance from a company that takes $250 when the paycheck comes in.

Being poor is four years of night classes for an Associates of Art degree.

Being poor is a lumpy futon bed.

Being poor is knowing where the shelter is.

Being poor is people who have never been poor wondering why you choose to be so.

Being poor is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.

Being poor is seeing how few options you have.

Being poor is running in place.

Being poor is people wondering why you didn't leave.
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Dez Donating Member (826 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 11:58 AM
Response to Original message
1. Beiing poor is
only able to donate $10 to the Katrina disaster *sigh*
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Dem Agog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 11:59 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. That's not just being poor...
That's also being selfless, decent, kind, goodhearted, and everything so many "conservative Christians" are not. Jesus - the real one, not the plastic one peddled today, would be proud.
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Land Shark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 12:05 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. In Bible, it's not how much you give, but how hard it is to give it!

Sell everything and follow me, said Jesus. Tell your fundamentalist friends to stop hedging on this biblical injunction, and start respecting the smaller (seemingly) sacrifices of the poor.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 12:14 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. Yes, and do not forget the widow woman who chucked some pennies into
Edited on Sat Sep-10-05 12:14 PM by GreenPartyVoter
the tithe plate, but whom Jesus said she had given more than all the rich people who had tithed before her.

------------------------------------------------------
Ditch Bu$h and save the Gulf: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=106&topic_id=22507&mesg_id=22507

Then save the nation!
http://www.geocities.com/greenpartyvoter/electionreform.htm
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ikojo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 10:03 AM
Response to Reply #4
43. Maimonides, a mideval Jewish thinker, said there are eight degrees
of charity....

http://www.chabad.org/library/article.asp?AID=256321

Level Eight: Giving grudgingly, with a sour countenance.

Level Seven: Giving less than you can afford, but doing so pleasantly.

Level Six: Giving generously, but only after being asked.

Level Five: Giving before you are asked.

Level Four: The recipient knows the giver, but the giver does not know the recipient.

Level Three: The giver knows the recipient, but the recipient does not know the giver.

In this level of tzedakah -- which is the converse of Level Four -- the donor's ego has some room to express itself. Since the giver knows who is receiving his bounty, there is room for some sense of one-upmanship or dominance over the receiver. However, the beneficiary is unaware of who the donor is, and so his dignity is preserved.

(The fact that Level Three is higher than Level Four is proof of the Chassidic adage that we should take into account the other's benefit before considering the possible disadvantages to ourselves -- in spiritual matters as well as material. While it is certainly important to avoid ego and arrogance wherever possible, it is more important to salvage the dignity of someone else.)

Level Two: Giving anonymously, where the recipient does not know the giver and vice versa.

The highest degree of charity is.....

Level One: Helping someone become self-sufficient.
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noahmijo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 12:08 PM
Response to Reply #1
5. It more for you to do that than those of us who maybe gave more
in terms of amount, but as far as heart and sincerity goes you have given more..

:pals:
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shaniqua6392 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 12:14 PM
Response to Reply #1
8. It is always those with the least
who are the most giving. "For it is in giving that we receive". I could not give much either in the way of money. But, we are cleaning out all of our closets this week and will give to them anything we do not need. That is all we can do. If God had made me a millionaire, I would have given it all away by now.
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 12:28 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. You might as well have just summed me up too. I wished
hundreds of times this week for enough money to be able to take time and just go get a fishing boat if nothing else to try to get some of those traumatized people out of that hell on earth where they were trapped. I would have spent practically all of it trying to get at least as many as possible some real help. Yet Bush and many of the politicians stood there on television in front of cameras feeding us lines of garbage and left them there. How many times did news crews fly in and out of that area while Bush and many others were still yakking and doing nothing?


Homelessness is the most horrid feeling. I know it. For many it is only a paycheck or a natural disaster away. And the poorest do tend to give the most in terms of ratio. How much they actually have to give is harder to giver than if someone has a spare million laying around and there are many who do have a spare million. Imagine if someone like Donald Trump (in the perfect position to help in this relief effort) had decided to take one of his hotels and put the people up and give them a salary just to keep it clean until they could get back on their feet.
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Land Shark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 05:05 PM
Response to Reply #11
36. First rule of wealth is: It's not what you Earn, it's what you Save
but Saving a real whole LOT, means not GIVING one's last pennies like the widow in the Bible.

I am not necessarily saying we should all sell all and follow Jesus. AND MOST CERTAINLY THE FUNDIES ARE NOT, BUT THEY CLAIM TO FOLLOW THE BIBLE STRICTLY. I am not necessarily saying we should give our last pennies like the widow in the bible. AND MOST CERTAINLY THE FUNDIES ARE NOT EITHER, BUT THEY CLAIM TO FOLLOW THE BIBLE STRICTLY.

In fact, when the fundies meet the widow out of the Bible, they call her a fool and irresponsible, for not saving more.

In fact, when the fundies meet Jesus, they call him a wacko, a charlatan and a pie-eyed idealist.
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patdem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 02:26 PM
Response to Reply #8
46. The probable reason you are not a millionaire is that you have been too
generous thru out your life...sometimes we could be rich..only we chose to be generous instead. The rich are not all evil, nor are the poor all good...but being poor is not bad..and being rich is not good. Of course as Democrats we all know that!
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proud2BlibKansan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 12:02 PM
Response to Original message
3. The Culture of Poverty and Realities of the Working Poor
Imagine for a moment that you have been transported from your present life into a world in which you must live and relate to the other people by the following rules:

You can only own that which can be moved in half a day and placed in the back of a truck. You have no credit cards or a checking account (and even if you did, you have no money to put in it.) You exist from hand to mouth and you relate to other people in terms of what they can do for you that day – just as they will relate to you. There is no language of “negotiation”. You learn to fight for your rights and defend yourself physically or you need to find someone who will be your protector. You have no car. You have family around but they live under similar conditions and most of them have small children to care for. You have a temporary living situation with a friend but he/she has already told you that you might need to be out by the end of the week. They have no electricity and no phone. It is mid-summer and it is intensely hot and humid. But hey, congratulations, you just started a new job at the local mall for $7.00 an hour! Good luck!

http://www.diversityworld.com/Denise_Bissonnette/TLN04/tln0406.htm
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 12:13 PM
Response to Original message
6. I saw this here earlier this week and added some of my own fro my personal
Edited on Sat Sep-10-05 12:17 PM by GreenPartyVoter
experiences.

Being poor is when your father the sternman is paid by his drunk boat captain in lobsters, which your mother then trades to friends for peanut butter and milk.

Being poor is wearing the most fashionable clothes....from a decade ago.

Being poor is trying to get by on foodstamps and substitute teaching, which means that during the very lean months of July and August instead of getting food stamps you are giving the gov't more of what precious little $$ you have because you were too "rich" during May and June.

Being poor is panicking because you have a 3 week old baby in a trailer with no heat during a subzero cold snap, and the oil company won't come to fix the furnace because you fell behind on your bill.

Being poor is living in a trailer that has no running water in the winter due to frozen pipes and no water in the summer due to a shallow well and a drought.. and not having the money to fix either situation.

Being poor is yelling at your kids when they won't eat the crust on their bread, because you don't know when you can buy another loaf and they need every calorie then can get.

Being poor is never going to the dentist, so that you can afford to take your kids instead (Thanks mom and dad!)

Being poor is praying that your very bright children really are the geniuses you hope they are, so they can earn full scholarships to college. Otherwise they are on their own.

Being poor is laughing hysterically when you hear people talk about retirement savings.

Being poor is paying for everything with a credit card, and then paying that card off with another and so forth and so on until your job cuts back your hours and you can no longer make the minimum payments. Then the house of cards falls down around your heads and you go to bankruptcy court praying your real house doesn't disappear too.

------------------------------------------------------
Ditch Bu$h and save the Gulf: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=106&topic_id=22507&mesg_id=22507

Then save the nation!
http://www.geocities.com/greenpartyvoter/electionreform.htm
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ignatius 2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 12:21 PM
Response to Original message
9. Very touching post, thank you and your dad. My dad left my
mom when I was 14. There were 5 of us kids and mom had never worked. Dad left town and we were flat ass broke. Until mom found work we had to get assistance including food stamps. In the old days no plastic card, you had to stand there while the cashier counted them. One day we were a little short. The lady behind us looked at mom like she was the most disgusting thing in the workd. I regret that I didn't tell that fucking hag to eat shit and die.

Instead I sort of dropped my head and looked sheepish. When we got home mom,who had seen the lady told me, it is no crime to be poor but it is a sin to be so mean.

I have been there done that and know that after a while of being degraded and put down you either simply don't care any more or you try to stay out of the way.

Give your pop a hug for me, anyone who would take time to send that letter is a gentle and kind soul,
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 12:24 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. I have a similar story.
A few years ago, a woman was waiting next to me in the waiting room of my daughter's dance school. She said to me, "I just almost lost my Christianity". I looked at her and she went on to explain how she had just been at Food Lion and a woman in front of her with a gorgeous manicure was paying for her food with food stamps. She started to launch into a tirade about how awful it was blah, blah, blah, but I stopped her and said "sounds to me like you did lose your Christianity....a long time ago. How dare you judge her? How do you know that she didn't get that manicure as a gift? How dare you judge how she spent her money? I hope she got a fucking pedicure as well".

She never talked to me again. Small loss. Hypocritical fuck.
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wellstone dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 12:33 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. A friend of mine
was standing in line once, the woman in front of her was using food stamps. The two women behind her said, "Must be nice to have food stamps to buy ice cream bars with!" loudly. As my friend tried to figure out what to say, the woman in front of her turned and said,

"Oh it is nice. You bet. And tonight when your kids get to go to the footbal game, you think about my kids, at home because we can't afford to send them. And tomorrow when your kids go the movies, you think about my kids at home, watching tv because there is no money for the movies. And on Sunday, when you go to brunch, or do whatever activity you have planned, that day you should really think about my kids, because that's the lucky day we get our only treat for the month, these ice cream bars. And yes, we sure are fortunate to have food stamps, so that we can have these ice cream bars."

I wish I could have been there to clap.
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IndyOp Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 08:02 PM
Response to Reply #12
39. Wow - that was an eloquent response.
:applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:
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Gemini Cat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 10:05 AM
Response to Reply #12
44. Good for her!
It's time for poor people to slap down the culture of vulture and their stupid statements.

Fuck them if they can't handle people using food stamps. On top of everything else, it's none of their moronic business how one pays for their food. If they foolishly decide to make it their business, then a verbal slap down is necessary.
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Dez Donating Member (826 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 12:45 PM
Response to Reply #9
15. Being so poor
made my major depression worse. Maxed out on the pharmaceutical meds which don't take away the depression I have as a result of my extreme poverty.

My sister makes about $80,000 a year, and she offers me NOTHING! I want to just disown her and my other sister which give me helpful hints on how to lose weight! Funny, their great avice they offer, they don't take advantage for themselves.

I want to win the Power Ball so bad, and watch them runnig to me and asking me to turn them into millionaires. I would LOVE to give them a peice of my mind then!
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ignatius 2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 01:01 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. It is hard and it hurts when your family is so callous. Take care
and try to stay strong..if we get these bastards out of office things wil improve.
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Dez Donating Member (826 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 01:10 PM
Response to Reply #16
20. Thanks.. I stay alive onlyl to take care of my mother
who is elderly. It would kill her if I checked out.
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me b zola Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 12:37 PM
Response to Original message
13. Thank you for this thread
My husband & I have both known poverty. He, as a child, and me as a single mother (before we met).

I have been quite ashamed that our party had moved away from working for economic justice and the working poor. They allowed themselves to be shamed away from advocating for the poor when the repubs began their attacks on "welfare mothers". I have a feeling that we were just delivered a wake-up call.

It is time, now, to shame the repubs for the havoc they have unleashed on our people by their hateful economic policies. Dean has already begun to shout it from the roof tops. I hope Dems will stop saying that "Dean doesn't set policy" and instead get behind him and go into a full frontal attack on the economic policies that have created so much poverty. I hope they shout about how shameful the republican rhetoric against the poor is wrong, immoral, and needs to stop.


Your thread has helped to shine the light of truth on what it means to be poor. Thank you.
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BiggJawn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 12:42 PM
Response to Original message
14. That was me during the Reagan-Bush I years....
And it wouldn't take a whole lot to push me back into that, either....

Poor is being told by the gas company that they STILL won't turn you back on, after giving them $90, because their meter guy says you have a "leak".

Poor is being told by your SAAB-driving boss: "I'd give you a raise, but I don't want you to lose your food stamps...".

Poor is getting up at 6AM to go to work, get off at 5, rush home and change clothes and take a quick shower because the furniture stripper is itching, throw something down your throat (don't worry, you WILL taste it later) jump back in the Hoopdy, and race across town to be in class by 6:30, then out of school at 10:30, get home around 11, rinse, lather, repeat for 2 years...

Poor is carrying a bicycle in the trunk of your car, in case you break down or run out of gas on the way to your $3.35 an hour job...
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cynatnite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 01:04 PM
Response to Original message
17. Nominated
:cry:
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Sapphire Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 01:07 PM
Response to Original message
18. Being poor is being expendable...
Being poor is waiting until noone can see you before you cry.

Being poor is knowing that they really don't see you anyway.
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titoresque Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 01:10 PM
Response to Original message
19. Thankyou for this and I'll add
some of my own from experience as a child and some as an adult.

Being poor is watching your parents get creative and "build" that two gallon shower because the water has been turned off and doesnt look like it's coming on anytime soon.

Being poor is living by the "if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down rule" then pouring a gallon down the back of the toilet.....because the water bill still hasnt been paid.

Being poor is washing clothes in a kiddie pool, and having a good time chasing your sister in a circle to "agitate" the water.

Being poor is shamelessly searching for aluminum cans along the road and in trash cans to recycle for dinner.

Being poor is dropping your daughter off a block away from school so her friends wont see the "beater" car she gets out of.

Being poor is not being able to afford to live in the neighborhood with the good school for your kids so you drive an hour everyday and work two jobs to afford the gas to get them there.

Being poor is having your trash can re-poed........twice.

Being poor is knowing how or learning how to fix everything yourself.

Being poor is scrubbing the toilets at the Department of Economic Security office day after day, year-after-year and thanking god you have a key to the building and not an appointment for food stamps.

Being poor is knowing with all that you are that there is SO MUCH more to life than money!

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mbee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 01:10 PM
Response to Original message
21. How sadly true! If we were really the greatest country this would not
be the case!
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Sapphire Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 01:16 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. UN report says parts of America are as poor as Third World...
UN hits back at US in report saying parts of America are as poor as Third World

By Paul Vallely
Published: 08 September 2005

Parts of the United States are as poor as the Third World, according to a shocking United Nations report on global inequality.

Claims that the New Orleans floods have laid bare a growing racial and economic divide in the US have, until now, been rejected by the American political establishment as emotional rhetoric. But yesterday's UN report provides statistical proof that for many - well beyond those affected by the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina - the great American Dream is an ongoing nightmare.

The document constitutes a stinging attack on US policies at home and abroad in a fightback against moves by Washington to undermine next week's UN 60th anniversary conference which will be the biggest gathering of world leaders in history.

<snip>

The report is bound to incense the Bush administration as it provides ammunition for critics who have claimed that the fiasco following Hurricane Katrina shows that Washington does not care about poor black Americans. But the 370-page document is critical of American policies towards poverty abroad as well as at home. And, in unusually outspoken language, it accuses the US of having "an overdeveloped military strategy and an under-developed strategy for human security".

http://news.independent.co.uk/world/politics/article311066.ece
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Akoto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 01:26 PM
Response to Original message
23. Great post, although ...
Edited on Sat Sep-10-05 01:27 PM by Akoto
Getting my GED honestly did make a difference for me.

I had to leave high school for medical reasons after I graduated 11th grade (I'm pretty sickly for a 20-year-old), and because I was only able to travel short distances, the GED was my option.
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misha227 Donating Member (26 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 04:31 PM
Response to Reply #23
34. Good for you!
I dropped out of high school and got my GED so I could go on to college. Didn't feel like wasting another 2 years in the crappy high school Bush gave us in Texas! (I also had medical problems, and the school wouldn't accomodate my needs--would send a remedial tutor for pre-algebra when I was taking trig.)
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justgamma Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 01:37 PM
Response to Original message
24. I have to had my own
Being poor is being down to 2 pairs of underware and feeling guilty about buying yourself some new ones.

Being poor is when the purchase of new $10.00 shoes for the kids needs to be planned for.

Being poor is sitting in the doctors office waiting to talk to the business office about your past due bill before you can see the doctor, even though you are losing blood and barely able to keep from fainting.

Being poor is standing in line for food stamps for hours only to faint just before you make it to the window. If you don't get them that day, you are SOL for that month.

Being poor is not having the money to pay for your food stamps and having to go to charity to beg for the money.


Granted these all were 30+ years ago, but they are fresh in my mind today.

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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 01:39 PM
Response to Original message
25. Some from my childhood
Being poor is sandwiches with one thin slice of lunch meat.
Being poor is one serving of potato chips as your most common vegtable.
Being poor is being a growing thin high school athlete who can't eat more casserole because her father needs to take leftovers for lunch and is left feeling hungry.
Being poor is never eating snacks because your parents cannot afford to buy them.
Being poor is buying "luxury items" like brautwurst only when they are on sale.
Being poor is binging at the church dinner because that is the only time that you can ever eat enough to feel full.
Being poor is having your parent run out of gas at the line at the bank to cash a pay check because they don't have cash and the local stations won't accept their checks.
Being poor is having the teacher loan you lunch money mid week for your reduced lunches so you can buy lunch.
Being poor is wearing the same clothes until you grow out of them or they have too many holes to be acceptable under the school dress code, same thing for shoes which made gym class painful at times.
Being poor is only getting toys on two occaisons, birthday and Christmas.

This was my life from about ages 3-7 when I lived with my divorced mother, who did successfully get a Bachelor's degree and Master's degree during that time period. It was my life again, when I chose to live my father and stepmother after he had been laid off from a better paying job and ended up making $7/hour while my step mother made minimum wage at a seasonal job.
In some ways, I am poor financially as an adult, but we can buy most things that we want at the grocery store and don't run out of money because we have credit. Yes, debt is a bad thing, but it doesn't force us to make hard choices. Because of the above circumstances, it bothers me when median income or richer people complain about being poor when when they don't worry about affording food, basic clothing that needs to be replaced, and don't run out of cash before payday. Sure they cannot afford all their wants, but they can afford their needs.
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 01:50 PM
Response to Original message
26. I know all about that
Being poor is having to swallow your pride and ask the man at the corner store if you can charge some milk and bread for your kids until you get your next check.

Being poor is getting your kids' holiday gifts from the Salvation Army or the local Fire Department's toy drive, and their warm clothes from the community charity.

Being poor is having the local church or food bank bring you a basket for Thanksgiving and being too ashamed to tell them you don't have a working oven to cook the turkey in.

Being poor is taking your six year old out in the woods and cutting down a spindly baby pine tree for Christmas - and decorating it with cardboard cutouts covered with tinfoil.

I'm not a great deal better off - I live paycheck to paycheck but it's a whole lot better than it used to be. But I will never, ever forget what that feels like and I will do all in my power to help others in the same situation. It's like a living death, to be a poor mother and to see your children have to do without all the things they so deserve.

Sorry - you hit a nerve. :cry:
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ultraist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 01:54 PM
Response to Reply #26
28. You sound like a really, really good mom.
It's like a living death, to be a poor mother and to see your children have to do without all the things they so deserve.

:hug:

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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 02:53 PM
Response to Reply #28
29. Thank you
That is the nicest compliment anyone could give me. My kids are the greatest. They're grown now but when they were little, they were so good and understanding about why we couldn't always get a snack at the store, or go out to eat, or join Brownies, or Cub Scouts or soccer or karate class. I almost think it hurts worse to see them NOT complain than it would if they did - then I could have been irritated with them and instead all I could ever think was how richly they deserved that box of donuts or to go to the movies.

Those who say deprivation builds character have probably never been deprived. Though it does show you how much strength you have, it leaves you will a whole lot of psychological issues that you'll probably never completely lose.

I'd just as soon not have so much character!
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ultraist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 03:22 PM
Response to Reply #29
30. Excellent point.
I think the saying, "it builds character" is basically a myth.


Certainly, people who have experienced hardship have an insight that those who haven't, don't. They are also more likely to be empathetic, but as you said, the stress can leave scars, some of which don't seem to ever heal.

If I had a choice for my children to be poor or never have to worry about providing for their children, I would choose the latter, without question!
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ignatius 2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 04:26 PM
Response to Reply #29
33. You know that is something that really ticks me off, the
brownies and soccer and all the extras shouldn't cost to participate. When we were growng up, the local businesses provided the equipment and uniforms.

A lady I work with has 3 children who are involvled in cheerleading,soccer and hockey. She tells me how expensive it all is and I have to say I was shocked.

God bless you,it sounds like you did a wonderful job raising your children. Kudos!
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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 01:51 PM
Response to Original message
27. You make $12k a year, rent a crappy apartment, drive a clunker,
Edited on Sat Sep-10-05 01:53 PM by SoCalDem
SoCalDem (1000+ posts) Fri Apr-15-05 06:27 AM
Original message

You make $12k a year, rent a crappy apartment, drive a clunker,

and yet our "media" would have us believe that "your" main concerns

are :

1. selection of judges

2. whether a woman you never met has a feeding tube re-inserted

3. making sure that only "super-rich" people can still file bankruptcy

4. making sure that super-rich people can hold their family "booty" untaxed for generation after generation

5. making sure that public schools get little, if any federal funding

6. making sure that only rich people can use the judicial system when they are injured or defrauded

7. making sure that no woman has any reproductive choice

8. making sure that your employer has easy access to off-shoring YOUR job if he cannot get you to work for less

9. making sure that insurance companies are "well taken care of", even if it means that YOU cannot afford medical insurance

10. making sure that oil wells go into the Arctic reserve, even though it's a "drop in the bucket" that will probably end up in Japan..TEN years from now.

11. pushing for private accounts for social security, even though ALL reliable experts say this is a recipe for DISASTER

12. making sure that God is EVERYWHERE..in courthouses, schools, TV, radio..

13. making sure that gay people can never marry

14. making sure that "our borders" are "mexican-free zones"

It simply amazes me how such uneducated people are "experts" on tort reform, and energy and taxes, and social security, by virtue of regurgitating talking points.

I have to hope that in their day-to-day lives, these people are really thinking about.. :

1. How much Kraft mac 'n cheese will $5 food stamps buy?

2. How can I pay $125 a week daycare on a take home check of $220

3. Why does my crappy apartment cost so damned much?

4. How will I pay a $400 repair bill on a car that's worth $800?

5. Just how high of a fever does the baby have to have, before I break the budget and take him to a doctor?

6. At $2.75 $3.09 a gallon, how many days will I have to hitch a ride to work?

7. How many part-time jobs are "enough"..2? 3?..

8. When you work 2-3 jobs, and pay for childcare, when do you have "family-time"?

9. How can MY values be instilled in my kids when they never see me?

10. How can a marriage survive when both parents work all the time, and never have any quality time together or with the family?

11. How can Grandma afford to stay in her paid-for home, since the nursing home wants to confiscate it for grandpa's care?

I think these are the REAL problems that most people grapple with...not the esoteric policy issues that so many on call-in shows claim to "worry" about.

It annoys me every time I hear the talking points come out of the mouths of people who haven't a CLUE what they are talking about..

It's all a game..My side-your side.. These people are not even thinking about the consequences of these draconian policies..on their lives or the lives of their peers..

They are merely parroting what they are brainwashed to believe



updated to add gay marriage
edited today to change gas prices:(

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flamin lib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 03:24 PM
Response to Original message
31. I don't know where this came from but I want to use it. Anyone know
of copyrights?
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Sapphire Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 05:00 PM
Response to Reply #31
35. Credit to John Scalzi, author of "Being Poor"...
Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs.: http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/003704.html

And more from John Scalzi...

Reaffirming Christianity

One of the more gratifying things about the aftermath of the "Being Poor" piece I wrote a week ago is how often I've been seeing it pop up on Christian-oriented Web sites, blogs and journals, followed by a sincere examination by the poster of what one ought to do about poverty, as Christians and as members of a larger community. By this I emphatically do not mean that all of a sudden these Christians are thinking about poverty seriously thanks to me, and that I should get a shiny medal or something like that. That would be a wildly stupid and arrogant assumption on my part, and while I've been known to be both wildly stupid and arrogrant, this isn't one of those times. No, I believe these Christians were already grappling with issues like poverty, and this was just one more data point for them to consider.

What's gratifying about these Christians using "Being Poor" to discuss poverty is not so much that they are talking about it but that I am seeing them discussing it, reminding me -- as I do need to be reminded from time to time -- that however much I rail against people I see as mouthing Christ's words and ideas and yet living a life apart from the ideals they claim to profess, there are as many if not more people who genuinely struggle to follow the example Jesus set and stay on the path that He walked. It's a reminder that the question "What Would Jesus Do?" is not just a snappy catchphrase on a bracelet, but also and hopefully foremost a genuine question that cuts to the core of how one should live one's life and how one should approach others.

<snip>

I am not a Christian, but I know Jesus. I've studied the Bible; I know the history of Christianity and Christian thought. Unlike three out of four Americans, I know the Bible does not say "God helps those who help themslves." Unlike sixty percent of Americans, I know more than four commandments, and unlike half of Americans I can name more than one author of the Gospels (hint: look at the name of the books). None of this makes me better than anyone who professes to follow Christ. It does mean, however, that I am familiar with what it takes to know Christ. I know Him well enough to expect quite a lot from His followers. And I do.

What do I expect from Christians? What Jesus did: For them to love their neighbor as themselves, which is a simple phrase but a monstrously difficult thing to do. Who is one's neighbor? Jesus answers that in Luke 10:25-37, and explains why even the least among us deserve compassion in Matthew 25:31-46. I often wonder if many of those who profess Christianity will be surprised where they are placed on the latter day. On my more irritable days, I sometimes wonder if it won't be most of them.

Continued @ http://www.scalzi.com/whatever/


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flamin lib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 05:08 PM
Response to Reply #35
37. Thanks. The most poignant thing about the Being Poor piece is
that as you read it you get the feeling that it will never end. Like being poor . . .
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Sapphire Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 06:38 PM
Response to Reply #37
38. And the most painful thing is that it's all true.
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DarkTirade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 03:53 PM
Response to Original message
32. Being poor is...
Here's my personal take... I know I'm not as bad off as some, mostly because my parents sacrificed whatever they could. Which wasn't much.

Being poor is...

Trying to go to college to better yourself... and then having to drop out of college because student loans don't cover rent, and class schedules won't allow enough time to work.

Failing college classes because you can't afford books.

Only being able to buy enough food at the grocery store to fill a backpack, because you can't carry more than that on a bicycle. But it doesn't really matter, because you couldn't afford more than that.

Not having a dollar for the bus when you need to get to work... to earn money.

Not being able to afford a car... and not being able to leave a town with crappy public transit.

Having an internet business fail... because it's the rainy season and you can't walk to the post office to ship your wares when it's raining all day.

Having your life 'turn around' financially when you become a manager... of a tiny pizza place. Now you can finally afford that 500 dollar car. Well, EVENTUALLY you'll be able to afford that 500 dollar car.

Having your life crash down on you when that pizza place goes under during the worst time to look for jobs.

Accepting a part-time seasonal manual labor job... because you can't afford not to.

Sitting at home every day, wishing you could afford to do something. Or wishing you had another job to occupy your time, but not being able to find one.
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Sapphire Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-10-05 10:18 PM
Response to Original message
40. kick
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ArchTeryx Donating Member (189 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 09:43 AM
Response to Original message
41. It's a thread like this...
That makes me realize just how good I have it as a graduate student. Most people look at me like I'm poor when I say that, but compared to what I've seen in this thread, I'm positively wealthy.

Then, considering my assortment of physical problems, if I were as poor as described, I'd pretty much be dead.

Times like this, I wish there was more that I could do to help.
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catmandu57 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 03:27 PM
Response to Reply #41
47. Being poor is being invisible
Edited on Sun Sep-11-05 03:28 PM by catmandu57
it also means that things have to go your way all the time. There isn't any room for error, errors are very, very serious when one is poor, errors could even be deadly when one is poor.
Things have a funny way of not going the way one needs them, and the poor pay over and over for life's ravages.

I've been poor all my life, I don't know any other way, right now there's about a buck left in my checking account, I think.
I sent my wiggle room to louisiana, because there are people there in much worse shape than I.

edit: must use spell check.
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ikojo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 09:56 AM
Response to Original message
42. I grew up knowing most of this especially the following:
Being poor is hoping the toothache goes away.
(I didn't go to the dentist until I was 18 years old because the clinic did not have free dental care back in the 1970s. My mom always worried when we needed physicals that they would force her to take us to a dentist, she knew she could not afford it. I guess they just overlooked that portion of the form.)

Being poor is knowing your kid goes to friends' houses but never has friends over to yours.
(I was allowed to have only one sleepover when I was a teenager and I had to buy all of the food for the two friends allowed to stay over).

Being poor is going to the restroom before you get in the school lunch line so your friends will be ahead of you and won't hear you say "I get free lunch" when you get to the cashier.

Being poor is relying on people who don't give a damn about you.

Being poor is picking the 10 cent ramen instead of the 12 cent ramen because that's two extra packages for every dollar.
(except my mom would buy boxes of mac and cheese).
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Sapphire Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 01:56 PM
Response to Original message
45. Sunday afternoon kick
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