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Hmmm...same snarky style of writing. Same hatred of Democrats. And same pack of unvarnished lies.
I've known Ann Coulter was a man for quite a while now. But hey! Who'da thunk he was really named "Alex Lekas"?
Ann, you look better in the fright wig. But nevermind that. We have serious business to attend to. Mainly, that you're lying through your teeth again.
Oh, lemme see...the 1993 WTC attack? We "blow no houses down"? Ya might not want to tell that to the four men who did the deed; they each received 240 year prison sentences with no parole. How you actually serve 240 years in prison I'm not sure, but our jailers are good and they'll think of something.
The 18 soldiers killed in Somalia? Would you rather it be 180? 360? The man you call president certainly would. He's got one of those "These Colors Don't Run" bumper stickers on his old beat-up pickup. President Clinton has a "These Colors Shouldn't Be Wrapped Around a Soldier Who Got Killed Because I Want To Look Tough" bumper sticker. And frankly, I agree with the second sentiment. As Kenny Rogers put it, ya got to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em.
The 1996 attacks in Saudi Arabia? I'd tell you not to tell the people who did that one that the United States means business, but you can't; the US got together with the Saudis and caught those guys, the Saudis took jurisdiction (Saudi Arabia doesn't have an extradition treaty with the United States) and beheaded them all.
The attack on the Cole? Why the Right likes to pull out this one I don't know. The Port of Aden, Yemen, was known to be hostile, and the captain of the Cole didn't put out any security. Two sailors in a rowboat with a fifty-caliber machinegun would have prevented the Cole incident--and they weren't down there. In the old navy, they would have hung the skipper from the yardarm for doing something so idiotic. But it's easier to blame Clinton for this one, I guess.
Now let's talk 9/11. George Bush was scheduled to read a story book to a classroom full of second graders. When he was informed at his hotel that the first plane had hit the WTC, what did he do? No, not what Clinton would have done, which is to get back to Air Force One and get on the phone. Bush went to the school and began to read. When Bush's press secretary informed him that the second plane had hit the tower, what did he do? No, not what the man who actually won the election would have done, which is to excuse himself immediately, get to a phone and start working to stop these attacks--George Bush picked the book up and read for twenty more minutes. (Never mind that with all of these airplanes flying all over hell's half acre and no one knowing where they were going, his presence in that classroom endangered all of those children. No, the big problem is that when the United States needed their president the most, he decided to do his very best First Lady impression so he wouldn't frighten the second-graders. I'm sorry, but we don't pay this man hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to be First Lady. And he makes a rotten First Lady too--he wears men's clothing, his appearance on television to beg Congress for $87 billion shows that he looks terrible in women's makeup and he probably can't bake cookies. Y'all thought cookie-baking was an important thing when Hillary Clinton was first lady; therefore, it must still be important.)
Did we bring down a despotic dictator who threatened the stability of the world's most fragile region? No, we just brought down a halfwit crackpot. The guy was big on torture, but threatening the stability of the region? Considering that exactly zero Arab nations sent anything more than good wishes to Bush's Coalition of the Gullible, he must not have been all that big a threat to the region's stability.
I love the snide little remark about the left suddenly finding fiscal religion over funding a bona fide function of the government. Uhh...explain to me how overrunning Iraq like Hitler overran Poland in 1938 is a bona fide function of the government. We started that war because Saddam had thousands of tons of lethal agents and was building a nuclear bomb. Now we find out that Saddam was thinking about starting a program to make lethal agents so we had to invade them now. Y'know, I've got a recipe for chocolate chip ice cream. You think that if I sent a letter to the state fair saying I had this recipe, they'd give me the blue ribbon for ice cream? I don't even have an ice cream freezer and this recipe contains three onions, but I might start a program to make ice cream and following the logic Bush has displayed, I should be the champion!
Yeah, you're right. Saddam did gas his own people...in 1988...with gas we sold him the ingredients to make and out of a helicopter we sold him. As the left is so fond of saying, we know Saddam had a chemical weapons program because we have the receipts. Know who sold it to him? Bush's daddy. If you'd like I can send you the picture of Donald Rumsfeld shaking hands with Saddam Hussein.
And yes, the left knows all about tyrants like Saddam. We, however, don't sell them weapons like Ronald Reagan did. We don't give them money, like the current George Bush did with the Taliban. Oh hell yes, the Taliban stopped opium cultivation. Why wouldn't they? There was a glut of heroin on the market and any more production would have driven the price down too much.
Do we have a postwar plan for Iraq? Yeah, put the UN in charge of this, send all the combat engineers we can scrape together to Iraq, have them fix what we blew up, let the Iraqis choose a government they like and get our people the hell out of there. Which is better than the Bush administration's plan, which seems to be "give Halliburton $40 billion so they can go over there and do nothing." You do know that we're paying Halliburton to deliver water to our soldiers, and they sometimes won't do it because Iraqis shoot at them--which means our guys are surviving on a quart and a half of water a day and they're losing weight. How, exactly, is paying two Halliburton employees $60,000 a year to drive a water truck a better deal than paying a PFC and a sergeant whatever PFCs and sergeants make to drive the same truck? And using the PFC and the sergeant has one advantage: they will take the water to the soldiers whereas the Halliburton guys have been known not to.
And yes, we've known of Saddam's brutality for years. If you knew anyone on the left, you'd know the kind of stuff Saddam liked to pull. The difference between someone on the left and someone on the right is that someone on the left wouldn't have sold Saddam any guns.
Those who wish this country harm have learned that the United States is run by some sort of power-drunk idiot cowboy who shoots first then makes up new questions when they got the wrong answers to the ones they asked after they blew the smoke off their pistols. They know that the only thing propping up Bush's phony numbers is war-war-war, so he'll start stupid ones like the thing in Iraq.
They know that Bush has stripped the Treasury so badly there's not enough money left to fight any more war. And why did he strip it, you ask? So Bill Gates could have a tax cut that's bigger than many of his employees' salaries.
And they know that because of all the war-war-war, there aren't enough soldiers in the continental United States to defend it.
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