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LTTE (also meant for congress critters) Please help tighten, tidy, and

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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 01:23 PM
Original message
LTTE (also meant for congress critters) Please help tighten, tidy, and
Edited on Sun Sep-11-05 02:11 PM by GreenPartyVoter
fact check??? Thanks!


At no time should a person who is accused of wrongdoing investigate himself, yet this is exactly what George W. Bush is proposing to do in light of the terrible recovery and assistance response after hurricane Katrina. And bipartisan efforts to investigate are also out of order, since bipartisan committees oversaw Homeland Security, which oversaw the now-gutted and crippled FEMA which had been folded into it.

Homeland Security is the first responder in national disasters, why was it one of the last groups to show up? The media was able to get in there, as were celebrities, surely rescue teams could as well. And as for shots fired, our National Guard comes under heavier fire every day in Iraq, surely they could manage the small amounts of gunfire from hysterical people trying to get their attention?

Why did the president not act sooner when implored by the Gulf State governors to send assistance both for evacuation and rescue efforts? (The famed flooded New Orleans school buses were useless to the mayor for evacuation purposes without drivers and federally-approved destinations; responsibilities that fall squarely in FEMA’s lap.) A single phone call from the president from the Oval Office or Air Force One or the Senator’s birthday party in Arizona or the Naval Base Coronado after he finished strumming the guitar he received would have sufficed. NorthCom was in place and ready to serve, but the president did not request their aid. He knew that a disaster of this magnitude was possible based on the test scenario called “Hurricane Pam”, the warnings from the under-funded Army Corps of engineers about the levees in New Orleans, and the alerts explaining the dire consequences of Katrina from NOAA; he cannot claim ignorance of the impending calamity.

Why did the president hand out positions like Head of Homeland Security and the three top positions in FEMA to people who had no disaster management experience that would make them valuable in such placements? What about “Brownie”, who was doing a “heck of a job”; was he doing such a great job when he embellished his résumé? What good are emergency officers who were so out of touch with the situation on the ground that they didn’t find out for DAYS that there were thousands of people trapped at the New Orleans Convention Center? Some “heck of a job”.

Why did the president stall on the acceptance of or flat out refuse international assistance? Why was the U.S.S. Bataan sent to the gulf only to sit there and watch helplessly from the waters as it awaited the call to action? FEMA and the Department of Homeland Security appear to have been instructed to reject help from people all over the United States. For what? Pride? Red tape? A misunderstanding of how very bad the situation in the gulf turned out to be?

Now the president is rumored to be thinking of passing more tax cuts. It was bad enough to do it during a time of war, but with the Gulf disaster stacked on top of that there is no justification—none—for cutting taxes at this time.

But there is every justification to demand an independent investigation. After 9/11/2001 we were promised that our nation would be made safer, our emergency responses made more efficient and streamlined. They weren’t. Someone dropped the ball and it landed smack dab on the Gulf Coast.


------------------------------------------------------
URGENT yet easy! Hold the government accountable for Katrina's aftermath
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4736062
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 01:26 PM
Response to Original message
1. What was the deal where he was playing gee-tar and where was it?That
needs to go in the line about him making a call.
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A HERETIC I AM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 01:34 PM
Response to Original message
2. Try and avoid starting sentences with the word "And"......
You have a couple periods where commas would work, but overall not bad.

Read through it again and try and edit it down. Most newspapers won't print more than a couple hundred words or so.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 01:38 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. Ok, I'll try to whittle it a bit. Thanks *wave*
Edited on Sun Sep-11-05 01:38 PM by GreenPartyVoter
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acmejack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 01:44 PM
Response to Original message
4.  Or who leave curious omissions on their resumes?
You might change this somewhat, "Brownie" embellished his CV, with the asst city manager claim. He attended an UNACCREDITED law school, too.

As the preceding poster mentioned about "and', "or" is also a poor choice for the opening word.

"I hope Mr. Bush will not try to pass tax cuts" I would suggest changing it to "Mr. Bush should not try to pass tax cuts", it comes across stronger in a declarative form, IMO
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 01:45 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. Thanks! What's CV? Curricula vitae? (sp) And yes, I agree, on second
reading "I hope" is too wimpy.
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nashville_brook Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 01:49 PM
Response to Original message
6. i like what you have and since i've had a couple of cups of tea
And why did the president stall on the acceptance of or flat out turn down international assistance

and am doing my writing exercises for the day :) here's my thoughts as a former editor/creative director. just random responses, really. i really enjoyed it! thanks for the opportunity to "jam."

maybe say "flat-out refusal" in the sentence:
i've had bad ADD since all this went down. i applaud your ability to get this down and out to your paper. i really like it because the voice is that of a person appalled. we are so past the point of having to PROVE something.

i'm not sure this sentence:
Do we really need emergency management officers who don't find out for DAYS that there are thousands of people trapped at the New Orleans Convention Center?
goes with the strongest argument in that paragraph -- altho it's one of the most agregious examples of neglect.

the question you want to answer is "should bush investigate himself." you want people to come to the conclusion that an investigation must be INDEPENDENT. in between these two points you have a pandora's box of outrageous malfeasance. you don't have to prove any other arguments on your way to nailing this one. and you can even say something nasty about the character of someone who would even suggest that he investigate himself! fucker.

i'm trying to kickstart my writing for the day, so i just thought i'd chew on this for a moment. it seriously reads great the way it is. but you might benefit from unpacking the pandora's box in support of that one goal -- the independent investigation.

anything after that is gravy.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 01:52 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. on the NOLA convention center.. can I say "are so out of touch" and still
keep the point? I mean, really, what in hell is going on that they don't even know those people were there. My two pets cats knew they were there because the teevee was on from day 1.

Un-frigging-real
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tech3149 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 01:56 PM
Response to Original message
8. regarding McCain and the cake,
that was in Arizona. I might be tempted to push the fact that free aid from other country's and individual citizens was turned away or not authorized to take action. (Not to mention the Bataan being under-utilized) Otherwise, I think you did a good job.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 02:03 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. Thanks There is so much to dman them with, and so little space
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 02:08 PM
Response to Original message
10. kick for more help
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LiberalFighter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 02:18 PM
Response to Original message
11. Here is info about previous Clinton FEMA director and gw's first director
http://slate.msn.com/id/2125224/

I would include gw*dipshit's appointment of Joe Allbaugh, his campaign manager before appointing a horse hack.

How about the fact that gw*dipshit praised James Lee Witt, FEMA director during the Clinton administration and then had him replaced.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 02:27 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. Thanks!
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Sep-11-05 02:32 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. Ok, I gotta get this thing sent. Thanks for all the help! :^)
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