Why does the stereotype of 'Republican' put me in mind of this guy?

[Stinky The Clown]

Yanno?

We see this guy everywhere. He drives that big fat fucking Town Car with the cell phone antenna still on it. He owns his own golf cart. The waistband of his size 42 pants is rolled over from the pressure of his belly. He has his own table at the country club and calls the bartender 'boy' and his Caddy 'kid'. He gets his Churchills by the box from a friend of a friend who has a friend in Canada with connections in Cuba. He owns the local insurance agency, but never sells to black people. He is on the club's house committee and has more than once blackballed the Jew banker who lives right next door to him.

His wife has mousey brown hair and he has two kids in college - the weird one at Liberty University. His mistress works for his friend the dentist as a hygienist. He is a member of his church's board of elders.

He went to a state college and his parents paid the tuition. He pledged to a fraternity and still wears the ring. Right after beating another pledge's ass raw when he was a junior, he drove his girlfriend two states away to get a legal abortion.

He did the same thng the next year with his new girlfriend.

He drinks too much bourbon. But never before 5. On Sunday mornings, his tee time is more important than his church time.

Yeah ...... I know this guy.

He's one of 'those people'.

[NJCher]

1. I shudder

Good descriptive writing, though.




Cher

[OldLeftieLawyer]

2. I get a different image

Mine is of a family of indeterminate age somewhere in a small town, not quite rural, certainly not suburban, but away from anywhere people of a color not pink would live.

They are good churchgoers, and they do charitable works on a regular basis. The kids are well-behaved, but the parents worry about who the kids might be hanging around with.

Neither of them has ever been inside a police station or a jail, nor do they know anyone who's ever done time, except for the son of one of his friends from work, but he left and no one ever talks about him now.

The husband's cholesterol is high, but he doesn't know it, and both of the parents need dental work. The kids, though, get first-rate medical and dental attention. They both go to public school, although they also attend religious instruction at their church one afternoon a week, after school, and on Sunday.

Their biggest hope is for their kids to go to the State university, and they hope the tuition won't be beyond their reach. They might even join one of those tuition plans that so many states now have, but they're trying to refinance their mortgage so that the wife won't have to get a full-time job to make sure they can keep up with the payments. They believe it's important for one parent to be home with the kids at all times.

Their credit cards are maxed out, and they make the minimum payments.

They honestly believe George W. Bush has done everything we needed in order to secure our country's safety, and none of what is happening is his fault. Something to do with Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein, that's what all these rising fuel prices are about. But, they're not exactly sure on the connection. They just know, like they know their God is watching over them and will keep their souls safe unto eternity.

They believe abortion is murder, and they never talk about what happened to the wife's sister that time in the city. She got married not long after that, and now has three kids, so everything is all right, no need to dwell on unpleasantness.

If George W. Bush ran again, they would vote for him again, although they're not sure why. They only know that people with complicated ideas who seem to question what our country is doing are not good patriots and really should keep quiet.

They are, in fact, good and decent people. That is the heartbreak of my stereotypical Republicans.

[Mikimouse]

3. Someone with more expertise than I should photoshop this puppy

Haley Barbour in a white linen suit with a black string tie, holding a Mint Julep in one hand and a whip in the other, while sitting on Trent Lott's back porch with *.

[KharmaTrain]

4. Meanwhile At The White House...

Watch this drive...

Ya think them folks along the Gulf coast are really happy to be seeing Commander Bunnypants again?