Outsourcing the President

[LiberalEsto]

This little satire was written by a friend of mine. He agreed to let me post it but wishes to remain anonymous - LibE

OUTSOURCING THE PRESIDENT

Congress today announced that the office of President
of the United States of America will be outsourced to
overseas interests as of August 31st. The move is
being made to save not only a significant portion of
the President's $400,000.00 yearly salary, but also a
record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and
related overhead.

"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost
savings should be significant," stated Congressman
Thomas Reynolds (R-Wash.). Reynolds, with the aid of
the Government Accountability Office, has studied
outsourcing of American jobs extensively.

"We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world
stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds
noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his
termination. Preparations for the job move have been
underway for some time. Gurvinder Singh of Indus
Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming the
office of President as of September 1st. Mr. Singh was
born in the United States while his Indian parents
were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him
eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of
$320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or
other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle
his job responsibilities without support staff. Due to
the time difference between the US and India, he will
be working primarily at night, when few offices of the
US Government will be open. "Working nights will allow
me to keep my day job at the American Express call
center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview.
"I am excited about this position. I always hoped I
would be President someday."

A Congressional Spokesperson noted that while Mr.
Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues
involved in the office of President, this should not
be a problem. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree
that will enable him to respond effectively to most
topics of concern. Using this tree, he can address
common concerns without having to understand the
underlying issues at all.

"We know these scripting tools work," stated the
Spokesperson. "Mr. Bush has used them successfully for
years."

Mr. Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and
salary until his final day of employment. Following a
two week waiting period, he will be eligible for $240
dollars a week unemployment for 13 weeks.
Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid as
his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed
limit.

Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services
of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and
prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to
Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a
new position due to limited practical work experience.
One possibility is re-enlistment in the Air National
Guard. Should he choose this option, he would likely
be stationed in Iraq, a country he has visited.

"I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr.
Bush, who gained invaluable knowledge of the country
in a visit to the Baghdad Airport's terminal and gift
shop.

Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr. Bush would
receive a warm reception from local Iraqis. They have
asked to be provided with details of his arrival so
that they might arrange an appropriate welcome.

[havocmom]

1. Ask your frined to sned it to KO or Dobbs

:evilgrin:

[OldEurope]

2. LOL

just wonderful

[babylonsister]

3. Thanks, LE, and thank your friend. Good stuff! nt

[LiberalEsto]

4. kick for the evening crowd n/t