How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[Atman]

None. They'll leave the task to their children and grandchildren.

[brooklynite]

1. Screwing in lightbulbs is your own personal responsiblity...

[maine_raptor]

2. None

They hire a private security firm on a no-bid contract to do it.

[tinfoilinfor2005]

3. I don't know.

But it doesn't matter because the light is always DIM. hahahahahaha

[Greeby]

4. It's been done but....

Only one, but you have to write the word "Poor" on the lightbulb to maintain his interest :D

[ck4829]

5. Who knows?

One to outsource the work to someone else

One to find out if the lightbulb has WMD

One to declare that the screwing in of the lightbulb is too great to just happen naturally

[ComerPerro]

6. Why are we talking about screwing in lightbulbs?

It's not even necessary. The light is still on. Anyone who even suggests that the light is out is either too stupid to see that it is on, or has been blinded by the liberal media (who want people to think the light is out because it will make them angry at Bush).

[kliljedahl]

7. Used to be my sig line

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

[bigpenguin]

8. I don't know how many

but it will take them at least four days.

[Generator]

9. What lightbulb?

The freedom thing is messy. No lightbulbs anywhere. If there are "lightbulbs" it's because the media told you there were.

[RandiFan1290]

10. None

They pay Halliburton $50 billion to do it for us.

[obreaslan]

11. Light bulb?

They weren't informed that the light bulb had burnt out until last night. Bush* will tour the sight of the burnt out bulb this Friday to reassure the people that the Federal government is working on getting the bulb up and running as soon as possible. THis is not the time for the blame game and finger pointing, it is the fault of the local government that the bulb was not replaced before it went out. GE has received a $8 billion dollar contract to replace the bulb. And Barbara Bush has said that "Since the people who don't have the light right now are so poor anyway, this is much better that they can't see the squalor that they live in."

[Kaylee]

13. Here is a version that has been going around....

How many Bush administration officials does it take to change a light bulb?

1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;

4. One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs;

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished;

7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark;

8. One to viciously smear #7;

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;

10. And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

[highplainsdem]

12. Five. One to fly past in Air Force One and say the problem must be worse

closer to the light bulb.

One to explain to flyboy that photo-ops on the ground by the lightbulb would be a better idea.

One to opine that people are really better off moving away from the area where the lightbulb burned out.

One to arrange a contract for his former company to supply the new lightbulb for billions of dollars.

And one, who's considering resigning from the GOP out of embarrassment, to change the lightbulb with help from Democrats.

[lapislzi]

14. Changing light bulbs is hard. It's hard work. n/t

[Marr]

15. Look- we can't know the numbers until Halliburton gets their no-bid

lightbulb-screwing-in contract.