The FUNNIEST Bill Maher New Rules EVER !! Calls for * Recall

[Laura PourMeADrink]

http://www.hbo.com/billmaher/new_rules/20050909.html

snip
And finally, New Rule: America must recall the president. That's what this country needs. A good, old-fashioned, California-style recall election! Complete with Gary Coleman, porno actresses and action film stars. And just like Schwarzenegger's predecessor here in California, George Bush is now so unpopular, he must defend his jog against...Russell Crowe. Because at this point, I want a leader who will throw a phone at somebody. In fact, let's have only phone throwers. Naomi Campbell can be the vice-president!

Now, I kid, but seriously, Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you anymore. There's no more money to spend. You used up all of that. You can't start another war because you also used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people.

Yeah, listen to your mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit card's maxed out, and no one is speaking to you: mission accomplished! Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service. And the oil company. And the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or spaceman?!

Now, I know what you're saying. You're saying that there's so many other things that you, as president, could involve yourself in...Please don't. I know, I know, there's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela, and eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote. But, sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man.

Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes.

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two Trade Centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans...Maybe you're just not lucky!

I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side. So, yes, God does speak to you, and what he's saying is, "Take a hint."

[texpatriot2004]

1. That Bill Maher, he is something else. He is really quite smart

you know. Bill Maher :yourock:

[applegrove]

21. So perceptive.

[GreenPartyVoter]

2. I think I'm in love. *lol*

------------------------------------------------------
URGENT yet easy! Hold the government accountable for Katrina's aftermath
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4736062

[Nomad559]

3. I recorded the audio of that show

and posted It here.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=109x22806

:)

[Laura PourMeADrink]

5. thanks - The line on giving himself a medal is absolutely hysterical

[hippiegranny]

4. oh this was GOOOOD!

excellent!

[understandinglife]

6. Brad Blog has streaming video links in a couple of formats here:

http://www.bradblog.com/archives/00001824.htm

One of the best Bill has ever done!


Peace.

[lady lib]

23. Thank you for the link.

:hi:

[zoeb]

7. Bill Maher for President!!!

I heart Maher!

[NYCGirl]

17. If I remember correctly, Bill Maher once claimed he couldn't run for

President since he's a pot-smoking atheist! (I think that's the last thing in the world he'd want to do, anyway.)

[zoeb]

8. Bush's legacy:

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two Trade Centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans...

[MsLeopard]

11. Don't forget a space shuttle

Lost one of those too. He needs to go....

[snot]

26. Are we still in a net jobs deficit?

[BlueJac]

9. Put Bush in his place in HISTORY!

[Gregorian]

10. George doesn't know- God and Satan share a party line.

Wow. Maher is great! If he can be funny about this, then he's a genius.

[RevolutionStartsNow]

12. Maher is shining right now

I never watched his show much, sometimes I'd turn it on and it would be nonsense, but right now he's as funny and smart and accurate as he's ever been. Great stuff, thanks for posting!

[shadowlight]

13. right on!! n/t

[calico1]

14. Brilliant! n/t

[teamster633]

15. Real Time had always been one of the few shows I followed.

When last season began I read so many bad things about it here that I couldn't bring myself to watch. If I wanted to watch RW shills I'd turn on Faux. I just happened to catch the first show this season and it seemed like the show I missed so much was back to form and so far I haven't been disappointed. This week's episode was uniformly good and relentlessly critical of the chimperor. Even though there was a RW toadie on the weekly panel he couldn't gain traction with any of his fascist proclamations. He wouldn't even publicly admit he was a Republican...he sheepishly claimed he was a Libertarian. New Rules had me laughing so hard that I half expected to see the best part of my lunch on the dining room table once it was over. Between Rome and this year's model of Real Time I'm happy to pay for HBO again.

[KT2000]

16. Love this!

:kick: so more people will see this!

[AngryWhiteLiberal]

18. Ouch! "How about cowboy or spaceman..."

Another favorite (particularly biting):

Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service. And the oil company. And the baseball team.

Bill Maher a hero to progressive atheists everywhere!

JB

[mcscajun]

19. Don't forget the pot-smoking...

"...hero to progessive pot-smoking atheists everywhere!"


:smoke: :patriot: :crazy: :smoke:

[robbedvoter]

20. I use this as signature:

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two Trade Centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans...

[lonestarnot]

25. This could be made into the twelve days of Christmas tune.....

[jillan]

22. Love it - God is talking to you -take a hint!

That is great!

[lonestarnot]

24. OMG Thanks sooooo much for posting this! I'm almost ready to get

HBO....nah...but thanks though.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

27. Help: Just sent this to a repuke and they replied. "Bill Maher is

so unhappy, it is sad. We need to bring America, Love it or Leave it"

I wrote back and told him that if he had his way, 62 % of the population, who think B* is an idiot, would be gone. I would not object to dividing the US up, and see who comes out better. Although, I felt sorry for his 38% since they would lose tons and tons of people in their wars.

[nyhuskyfan]

28. Bill Maher is perfectly happy...

I loved his new rule last season, where he said something like...

If you are going to support the war in Iraq, you have to go fight it, otherwise you are a hypocrite. For example, I am for legalizing marijuana, so I smoke a TON of it.