If you woke up tomorrow morning in bush's body, what would you do?

[tinfoilinfor2005]

Right after throwing up, I mean. You wake up in george's body but you have your own brain. What do you do that day?

SERIOUSLY.

[Skidmore]

1. Hide before someone indicted me.

[Melodybe]

68. shoot myself

[Seansky]

2. kill myself...

[mark11727]

5. For the betterment of humankind and for future generations, so would I.

[understandinglife]

3. Ask the French for political asylum.

Peace.

[Webster Green]

4. Morphine overdose...

Opiates!...The only way to go!


Demand resignations! Now!

[gratuitous]

6. Probably realize

What a crying deficiency my body has of cocaine and alcohol. I'd work to remedy the situation immediately.

[maine_raptor]

7. Fire some people

Karl
Andy
Alberto
Condi
Rummy
Boulton
Scottie
and the list goes on

Hell there isn't enough time in 24 hours to fire them all.

[maine_raptor]

31. Forgot to add the following

In between all the firings:

Presidential directive legalizing pot,

A public release of ALL information about the 1947 Roswell crash,

A full disclosure of the cooking of WMD evidence,

and

A unmasking of the VP, in public and in front of TV cameras, showing finally the slimy alien life form he really is.

[ComerPerro]

8. After I got over the hangover

I would just treat it like any other day in Bush's life.

I would relax and hang around, maybe take a nap, release some bullshit statement to the press without actually saying anything or answering any questions, and then go to bed by 9pm.

[H5N1]

9. I would appeal to all Americans to help me undo all my evil acts

[quaoar]

10. The firings would commence immediately.

Starting with Rumsfeld.

And then I would withdraw Roberts' nomination and appoint Stephen Bright to be chief justice of the United States:

http://www.law.uchicago.edu/faculty/bright/

[demnan]

11. Call Al Gore

and apologize for stealing the Presidency from him.

[Frances]

18. Best answer of all

Thanks for thinking of this. I would say that Gore should be in the White House because he won the 2000 election. I would promise to provide evidence for all of the many illegal and unethical things done in my administration.

[DeepModem Mom]

28. Indeed!

Then fire everyone appointed under my administration; schedule a prime-time address for that night and apologize to the nation for all I had done to it, promise to reverse all of my policies and to seek help from the best minds to end the tragic mess in Iraq; announce that Bill Clinton has agreed to step back into the Oval Office as acting President until the end of my term. Provide enough evidence to jail Karl Rove for the rest of his life. Retreat from Washington, and disappear into rural Vermont, with an occasional incognito trip to the Left Bank of Paris.

[buff2]

12. I would committ suicide

No way would I want to be that close to the DEVIL.

[The Witch]

13. Go on national television and tell the truth.

[info being]

55. That's right. Set a real Christian example and CONFESS.

It's his only chance at redemption...admitting that he put ideology before human beings, which has led him to do so many terrible, terrible things to so many people.

[Xithras]

14. Seriously? Call a press conference.

Lay out all of the corruption, malfeasance, and just plain boneheaded moves that have guided "my" administration. Identify Cheney's culpability, indict the national Republican leadership, and lay bare the way that American corporations are looting the country. All on live national TV.

I'd spend the rest of the day dancing around the Capitol Mall in a pink tutu, bunny slippers, and a T Shirt that read, "Hi, I'm the Anti-Christ".

Then I'd resign and hope to God I woke up in my own body the next day, so I could enjoy watching the Republican party implode.

[stellanoir]

15. One of two things,

First see if I could convince the general population of the phenomenon of "walk ins" and elucidate at length, my shame of incarnating in such a soul less icon. If that didn't fly, I'd shoot myself.

[BlueIris]

58. Excellent!

Hee.

[Lochloosa]

16. Call Jeff

I'm just saying....

[SmokingJacket]

17. Call a press conference!

Tell the world our priorities have been out of whack for a long time, and we're going to be seeing some changes.

Immediate withdrawl from Iraq, with a portion of the war budget given to the UN for peace keeping. Condi and Rummy, get on it!

The rest of the war budget will be spent on a large public works project to employ those displaced by the hurricane in clean-up and rebuilding. Congress and governers, get to work and figure this out -- you know what your states need!

Next, demolish department of homeland security. Fema will be its own independent agency, ramped back up to Clinton levels and even higher.

Then I'd rub my hands together and go back to the office and find out what really happened on 9-11...

[Field Of Dreams]

19. Find a box cutter to get out of the bubble n/t

[ronnykmarshall]

20. Call Jeff Gannon ...

and get the whole filthy conversation on tape and mail it to every news agency in the world.

[UncleSepp]

21. Burrow my way out through his chest? (n/t)

[DancingBear]

22. Call Condi and tell her the affair is over n/t

[CrispyQ]

23. Seppuku --

the only honorable thing to do.

[Momgonepostal]

24. Hold a press conference, and admit in front of the world...

I am an incompetent president and do not possess either the integrity or the intellectual capacity to hold such a position of responsibility.

Urge people to vote Democrat in the next presidential election.

Resign...and apologize to the American people for duping them.

After press conference, donate most of my personal assets to charitable organizaions and liberal groups, including NOW, Greenpeace, and United Negro College Fund.

[berni_mccoy]

25. Ok, here we go

Step 1. Begin an immediate pull-out of Iraq. Offer any $/resources except troops to Iraq that they would need to continue the process of becoming a sovereign nation of their own.
Step 2. Ask every republican district that CAN recall their congressional representation do so immediately and replace with a democratic candidate.
Step 3. Immediately pull Roberts as a nominee. Find the two most qualified democratic (and likely female) judges and nominate them.
Step 4. Ask for articles of Impeachment to be drawn up for everyone in the administration, including myself.
Step 5. File an executive order to extradite Pat Robertson to Venezuela immediately.
Step 6. Disband and/or discredit the republican party.
Step 7. Urge the Senate to find me guilty and complete the impeachment process.

[kcwayne]

26. I would tell all my followers that God spoke to me and asked them

to follow me to the promised land, which is in Iraq. I would tell them that God wants us to go unarmed, carrying only the clothes on our back and a Bible, and just as in the time of Moses, God wanted us to wander in the Iraqi desert for 100 years. And since there will be no need for worldly possessions, God asks that all of their belongings and especially the cash be given to charity.

What better thing could I possibly do than to remove these morons from the US, and correct the gene pool?

[info being]

54. That is the most brilliant post I've seen!

[callous taoboy]

27. Wasn't there a Kafka novel along these lines? n/t

[tinfoilinfor2005]

60. hmm, don't know, but the idea for this thread came along when

bush came out today and "took responsibility"...made me wonder who had taken over his body!

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

29. Well, if I had my own brain...

...I wouldn't know a thing about what he's done for the last 5 years.
So I'd have to find out. Spend the whole day researching everything, and I mean everything that the administration has done
in the past 5 years that might be considered nefarious. Then seal everything up and get some anonymous Secret Service agent
to take the packet of everything and carry it to the Washington Post. Or the New York Times.
Just someone who can be relatively trusted. And make sure the documents can't be labeled as "forgeries".
Hell, I'd probably even do a recorded confession.
Then sit back and watch while the Bush administration starts to crumble.

[iconoclastic cat]

30. Drink Boone's Farm straight up until Thurday's conference,

and then announce that I was issuing an executive order: my marriage to Laura was nullified, and I was now betrothed to George P. Bush.

[TahitiNut]

32. First, I'd get a divorce. There's no way I could "do my duty" to Pickles.

Next, I'd explore each and every fraud and under-the-table arrangement made during this administration, gathering evidence for the next State of the Union address. After all, suicide wouldn't be necessary .. and I'd be interested in ensuring the martyrdom served some decent interest.

[sinkingfeeling]

33. Start over. Fire the entire cabinet and start handing the positions to

people with experience and intelligence. Bring the GOP leaders in and tell them of the new 'agenda' and for them to stop taking money from their buds and keep their mouths shut. First on agenda, roll back the tax increases to the wealthy. Create task forces to rewrite energy bill, bankruptcy bill, replan the budget, create an independent group to re-style the voting for national elections away from the use of machines, remove the nomination of Roberts to the SC, etc.

[Name removed]

34. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[unrepuke]

35. 1st call Detox and say "Take me, take me now!" 2nd, send the bums to Gitmo

including all the phony "journalists", the Faux News lackeys, congress, etc. Time to start over.
Clean house. :evilgrin:

I enjoyed the movie "Heaven Can Wait" with Warren Beatty.

[spuddonna]

36. First, I'd have a talk with my Mommy about her beautiful mind...

Then I'd get my tricycle, load up the basket with memos and documents and head over to Dan Rather's house for some cookies and shots of whiskey. (I'd leave some copies with Brian Williams, too, just cause I like his hair. Plus, he can hold his own against Jon Stewart.)

Then I'd go tell Pickles the truth - Mr. Guckert and I have been madly in love for years. The marriage, and free access to Joker's Secret Smilex Formula is over.

After that, I'd call Rush and have a little talk on the air with my 'fellow Merikans'.

And finally, I'd go talk to Cindy. I'd give her a copy of all the pre-war memos and details that prove the war was fabricated. I'd hug her, would resign immediately, and would join the Peace Movement...

I have a good fantasy life... :)

[The Sleeper]

37. Give the staff a paid vacation...

to fallujah.

Declare the Religious Right leaders "enemy combatants" and move on appropriately ....orange jumpsuits for all....


emergency meeting at Camp David for GOP Congressional leaders. I'll do my best to provide a "fully functional" helicopter.

Invite the RW press and talking heads to the white house to give them medals.... as a reward for the dangerous mission they are embarking on....being airdropped into iraq....parachutes optional.

Tie Kenny boy behind the whitehouse limo and take him for a little "scrape"

[Beelzebud]

38. I'd take Saddam's pistol, and shoot myself in the head with it.

[tgnyc]

39. resign, accuse Cheney of federal crimes, announce my sexual affair

with Condi, and ask America to vote democrat in the next three elections.

[Arkansas Granny]

40. Plastic surgery?

[movie_girl99]

41. drown myself in the bacteria infected water of NO. n/t

[tinfoilinfor2005]

42. I would go on the Hannity show and announce to the world

that I was gay.

Actually, I would
1. Announce plans for immediate withdrawel from Iraq
2. Redirect all monies to Iraqi war victims and Katrina storm victims
3. Call for a meeting of all nations to discuss and implement immediate actions against global warming
4. Provide documentation to Fitzgerald that Rove and Cheney and Libby and Novak and Judy Miller are guilty of treason
5. Begin immediate shipments of food and aid to famine areas
6. Call Al Gore and tell him the truth about the body-brain thing, and give him the keys to the white house
7. Punch Ann Coulter right in the mouth

[OneGrassRoot]

63. *clapping*........ lolol .........

Can you bitch slap Hannity after you hit Coulter? Then go find O'Reilley and Rush?

[MsTryska]

43. I'd hold a press conference, and publicly state that

I've doen a horrific job, my entire administration is a farce, and that we all deserve a vote of no confidence from the people.


then i'd call for a recall against myself.

[flvegan]

44. Make copies of everything, record audio/video of everything else.

I'd take the whole damn crooked administration down in flames, along with the likes of Halliburton, black-box voting, the whole kit-n-kaboodle.

[SoCalDem]

45. Go to a bank...take out a TON of cash..get plastic surgery

and retire in luxury on a very pretty island :)

[faithfulcitizen]

46. call WES CLARK quick!

:patriot:

[MN ChimpH8R]

72. There you go

Call for new elections, for Cheney's impeachment and, after the latter deed was done, appoint Wes Clark Vice President and resign the next day.

[Tari]

47. Assuming his brain was switched to my body...

WARN MY FAMILY & FRIENDS!

[tinfoilinfor2005]

51. LOL!! Never thought of that...

Oh damn, you could have lost your job, drank all your liquor and wrecked your car by the time anyone noticed that it wasn't really you!

[Tari]

59. My kids would be drinking the kool-aid. My boyfriend...

jeez, would give a whole new meaning to "fuck bush."

[Initech]

48. Here's what I'd do:

1. Send Hannity, Rush, Savage, Coulter, and all the other GOP talking heads to "Club Gitmo", making sure they all get the first class treatment!

2. Fire everyone, McClellan first.

3. Declare the fundamentalist Christian right as the real enemies of freedom.

Then I'd resign.

[Name removed]

49. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[0rganism]

50. Priority #1: Find out who's stuck in my body

Seriously, if it's the chimp, he could ruin everything I've (personally) worked for in a matter of minutes. I still love my family.

Then, I'd issue executive orders for a scheduled troop withdrawal from Iraq, withdraw my nomination of Roberts, sign the Kyoto accords and the international landmine ban, hold a press conference in which I publicly apologize for fucking up the nation, fire Dick Cheney (if that's even possible) and the rest of my cabinet, will my share of the bush family fortune to responsible charities, and present myself forthwith to the ICC for a warcrimes hearing.

[EstimatedProphet]

52. Come VERY VERY clean

Lay out everything that has been going on. Every last bit, with all the evidence.
Then suicide.

[info being]

53. I'd prep for the Thurs. speech. And here's what I'd say:

"I am resigning my position as President. But I will not do so without ensuring that all of the other criminals are expelled along with me. I want the American people to understand the full depth of our crimes so that it may never happen again..."

[BlueIris]

56. Wait 'till Thursday night's camera's roll. Then make out with Dick.

A lot.

The homophobes across the nation would reel with insane confusion--many might die of shock right there--and the polls would plummet.

Two birds with one stone, people.

[MamaBear]

57. Suicide. It's painless.

It brings on many changes ... It would be my gift to the world.

[librechik]

61. hurry to Sweden for a sex change operation

IMO, that's what he really wants. Oh, and make him look like Bar.

[mindfulNJ]

62. Oh this is TOO easy...

Fire my entire staff and cabinet, resign, and dedicate the rest of my life to atoning for all the damage I've caused...if that's even possible.

[blm]

64. Open up all the files on BCCI to public scrutiny.

The rest of the pieces will all fall into place after that.

[newspeak]

65. tell the truth

Like in the movie where the lying attorney could only tell the truth. I'd just blab about my business deals, my friends, my family. What ya'll want to know? I'm gonna tell ya all ya want to know. And after that, Poppy's statement of being chased down the street by a bunch of angry American citizens might be realized. Of course, I might be spared for tellin ya'all the truth.

[SammyWinstonJack]

66. kill myself. n/t

[UTUSN]

67. Page "666" - (Brendan FRASIER, in "Bedazzled") n/t

[Snotcicles]

69. Dive into the nearest tree shredder. n/t

[ThomWV]

70. Get that young boy out of the bed.

First thing.

[smurfygirl]

71. resign, after going for a bike ride of course

and then I would announce that I was going to be a missionary

[donco6]

73. Someone said it earlier - hit the Jack Daniels.

Hey, it's not my body. I'd find the nearest bar, plunk in a chair and not move for 24 hours. Make sure all the TV cameras caught me en flagrante. Flip them the bird every few minutes. Curse. Puke. Pee on the floor. That kinda thing.

[KerryOn]

74. Kill myself but not before praying to God that.....

... I would wake back up in my own body and not in Hell.

[smartvoter]

75. Fire everyone, then resign. nt

[TheCowsCameHome]

76. Kick Condi out of bed, and the little boy that she brought with her

After that probably see a good travel agent and book a one way flight to the center of the Pacific ocean

[Jose Diablo]

77. Find out where he hid the cash and head for South America n/t

[Arkana]

78. Curse an unloving God for doing this to me, then commit seppuku.

Why?

:P

[SharonRB]

79. Shoot myself