I have a winning stratergy for the Dems...

[Modem Butterfly]

I realize that the Democratic party has been known as the party that speaks up for the little guy, the down-trodden, the unpopular, but what we need is a new image. Forget all that stuff about non-religious people having equal rights- that alienates the fundamentalist Christians, the second most important voting block of all. Let's forget about the godless and the agnostics and all those folks who worship those "weird" gods with extra arms and syllables in their names. Also, some women seem to have the idea that they (and they alone) should control their reproduction. Well, the Republicans have made major headway on that issue, so we definitely need to distance ourselves from that foolishness.

I realize that there's a lot of "persons of non-traditional sexual orientation" who reliably vote Democratic. But really, that's only one in ten of everyone, less if you don't count the folks who are in Exodus International or really determined. They turn people off in a big way, worse than the coloreds (forgive me, I mean "colored people"). If we downplay them, they'll probably still vote for us, to some degree, and we'll pick up some of the NASCAR dad vote.

Finally, I know there's been a lot of talk about the importance of science education in school among the pointy-headed intellectual types. Well, that's all fine and well, but remember that the public schools are for everyone, stupid AND bright, and it turns out that some folks just aren't comfortable with new-fangled theories like evilution, plate tectonics, and gravity. Personally, I think a few more school districts learning about "Jesus horses" will be a small price to pay for the all-important dumbass vote.

Well, there you have it, people. Let's take a (hard right) turn towards a new, winning tomorrow! Democans in 2008!

Edited for authenticity, baby.

[Modem Butterfly]

1. Kick it RETHUG style!

[Lindsay]

2. Channeling the DLC there, Modem Butterfly?

Makes my head hurt! :banghead:

[Modem Butterfly]

3. You should have tried writing it...

I don't know whether to be amused or apalled at my own cleverness... Or should that be "cleaverness"?

[jedicord]

4. We'll be winners! And that's all that counts!

Excellent post Modem. You summed it all up for the pink tutus!

[sui generis]

10. I resent that. I am 6'2"

I am a pink fourfour

:evilgrin:

edited to add: ugh, dark blue is really more my color, but it doesn't show up as well under disco lights

[trotsky]

5. Amen, sister!

Plus I think that workers just have too much power these days - we should stop trying to fight for labor rights and protections.

[Modem Butterfly]

7. Oh yeah, gotta lose that

First order of business is reparations for the Triangle Shirtwaist company. Bunch of bad PR just because their employees were afraid of heights.

[Cleita]

6. Isn't this the DLC position?n/t

[sui generis]

8. you got it

but if we just change the color of our tent from blue to red, and mostly ignore the blue voters so we can get the red voters, the other side will still vote for the status quo because the other tent has been there longer and there aren't enough red voters to fill two parties.

Long Live the DLC :sarcasm:

I swear, and you remember that poll someone posted too I'm sure, right here on DU: "what minority group's rights would you be willing to give up to give the democratic party a chance of winning" that got me my first round of 20 mod deletes (in the same thread), several sizzling thunderbolts and a bunch of scalps to hang on my belt as I discovered some 33% of DU responders really believe that by turning into social conservatives we could win the republican vote :smacksforehead:

:hi:

[Modem Butterfly]

11. All we have to do is become everything we hate

And just like magic, we win.

Who needs to look at themselves in the mirror every morning anyway, right?

[xchrom]

9. well, miss modem

you talk pretty there -- so i suggest you tell that smart alec dr dean to get out of your way -- and you'll raise the money from now on.

and 'sides you'ld look nice talking to that mr. russert.

oh and never mind that gay flag thingy -- i do that -- cause we all know as it is democrats only want to talk -- those people.

[Telly Savalas]

12. We also have to be careful to distinguish between neocons

and our natural allies, the "true conservatives". While neocons push a fundamentalist agenda, demonize the GLBT community, want to gut social programs, support immoral wars, and advocate exploiting undocumented workers, "true conservatives" push a fundamentalist agenda, demonize the GLBT community, want to gut social programs, oppose immoral wars when they're not going well, and blame all of our nations problems on undocumented workers.

I heard that Joe Scarborough was a little bit critical of Bush last week. The tide is turning. If we are just willing to compromise most of our principles to appeal to the "true conservatives" like Mr. Scarborough, then we can run that bastard Bush out of the White House by January 2009.

[Modem Butterfly]

13. ROFL!

That's the spirit!

;)