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CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL has issued a no-nonsense warning about a new, highly virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior.
The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him").
Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially insidious ailment. Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to,
* antisocial personality disorder traits;
* delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor;
* chronic mangling of the English language;
* extreme cognitive dissonance;
* inability to comprehend or interpret new information;
* pronounced xenophobia and homophobia;
* inability to accept responsibility for actions; * exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;
* uncontrolled facial smirking;
* total ignorance of geography and history;
* tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies; and
* a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.
The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago in the bush country of Texas.
:scared: :cry: :dilemma:
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