Why Rove can't go ... to meetings

[kskiska]

Napoleon allegedly lost the Battle of Waterloo due to his hemorrhoids causing pain when riding horseback.

Never mind those planned congressional hearings on the hows and whys of government incompetence in the attempt to cope with Hurricane Katrina.

There were not only logistical and bureaucratic troubles but, astonishingly for the Bush White House, political snafus. Maybe there's a simple explanation: Karl Rove's kidney stones.

Washington insiders have been buzzing that President Bush's guru-in-chief - often called "Bush's Brain" - has been suffering from the painful urinary-tract malady for the past couple of weeks, causing him to miss some key Katrina strategy sessions.

(snip)

My esteemed colleague and Daily News Washington Bureau chief, Tom DeFrank, who has also suffered from the condition, yesterday told me: "The pain, depending on the size of the stone, goes from horrible to excruciating."

more…
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/346891p-296015c.html

[yurbud]

1. what foods should we send him to make it worse?

[Lochloosa]

10. Lots and lots of Coke....cases of the stuff

[warrens]

22. Spinach, broccoli, peanuts, cheese, kale, and coffee

I had chronic stone problems. A diet without the above and a bunch of lithotripsies ended them.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

53. lithotripsies

Rove lives a mile from Georgetown U. Hospital. Surely he is receiving treatment there, or at GW, or at Bethesda, or at....

Edited to add:

Wait; that would be wrong. It relies on science and engineering. No, his problem is that he is not praying hard enough. Prayer would take those kidney stones away.

Please pass the rattlesnake.

[babylonsister]

2. Funny-I can't muster an ounce of sympathy! nt

[Quakerfriend]

3. Oh? I thought he was hiding from Fitz!

[Demeter]

7. Me, too.

Especially when he surfaced for the Labor Day weekend. I figured the grand jury had recessed for the holiday, and that's why Condi felt it safe to come back into the country.

[MADem]

56. Kinda like Nixon with phlebitis??? nt

[Robeson]

4. OMG! That's so sad....

...:sarcasm:

[truthisfreedom]

5. i can't think of a more fitting condition. God did this to you, mr. rove.

i hope God thinks of more ways to send his blessed message to you.

oops, i'm an atheist. heh. but does that matter, as long as rove isn't?

[Generator]

6. Ya know

It always seems to me that bad things happen in bunches. We have poor Mr. Rove's kidney stones, the hurricane that has so badly wounded his main love and can we see something else coming? YES WE CAN. Wake me up when September ends.

[TheCowsCameHome]

8. Where is your compassion? This is nothing to joke about.

Oh, it's Karl Rove?

I hope they are the size of soccer balls and shaped like bags of broken glass, in that case.

[EOTE]

33. Having had kidney stones before....

I can tell you that it's probably the most painful experience you can imagine (ok, 2nd to tearing my ACL). I passed a stone while walking in a mall and I spent several minutes on the dirty floor writhing in pain and screaming. Having said that, it couldn't happen to a nicer person.

[damntexdem]

35. Well, then, uric acid stones. And further build-up of the urea can cause

... gout.

I bet Rove is pissed!

[meow2u3]

9. Kidney stones?!

I thought Karl Rogue had stones where his heart should have been :eyes:

[raysr]

11. I hope he passes one

as big as my fist! Remember when "Kramer" in "Seifeld" had them? LOL

[damntexdem]

36. It was depicted very graphically on ...

Deadwood.

[JuniperLea]

12. It's God's Will

That Rove should suffer a pee pee disease. Ermmm... To pay him back for... uh... leaking! Yeah, that's it!

:hurts:

[Not Me]

14. You took the words out of my mouth...

[Frustratedlady]

16. Finally!

Karl baby is caught between a rock and a hard place! Dork!

[ozarkvet]

19. Effect

Rove's effective absence explains why shrub was off-message during the earlier parts of the Katrina disaster.

Rove is very, very effective at what he does. Bit like Goebbels in that way.

[CatWoman]

13. yikes - I just googled for pics of those things

http://www.herringlab.com/photos/

[babylonsister]

15. yikes - I can't believe I clicked on that link!

:crazy:

[TheCowsCameHome]

18. One variety was called "Brushite" - I thought it said "Bushite"

Silly me.

[MisterP]

37. it's a mineral--some caves have it, and apparently some kidneys

maybe Rove will be at a circus and disrupt a tightrope act passing the stone

[bleedingheart]

23. I hope his were the spikey kind...

oh...did I say that???

[susu369]

58. Spikey kind

like the Silica (Canine) one?

oh yeah, woof, woof, growl....

[kskiska]

24. Ouch!!!

Thanks, Cat! Makes me feel better he's got them.
:hi:

[CatWoman]

52. LOLOLOL

Any time :hi:

How ya doing? :D

[damntexdem]

38. They're beautiful!

And I say that as someone who's had them.

[goclark]

46. Thanks for the photos

My mom is waiting for a "tiny" one to pass.

I am so worried that it will hurt her.

The doctor said that she may see some bleeding but that it should not hurt.... praying that it won't.

She is almost 90 yrs. old.

[TomInTib]

17. I've had them and have always said that

I would not wish them on my worst enemy.

Well..... I have changed my tune in this case.

[damntexdem]

39. Well, we must all change the music now and then.

May he writhe to the beat of a different drummer.

What Tib are you from? Tiburon, CA, by any chance?

[TomInTib]

44. Yep, BUT....

I am from Texas originally. My family settled in what is now the Angelina Forest (East TX) in 1630.
I'll tell ya Tiburon is hard to beat.

[snooper2]

20. Now everyone knows why Bush didn't know what to do..

His brain was in too much pain...

[Kolesar]

21. So Rove is supposed to fly to New Orleans and back to manage the disaster

What kind of nonsense is that? Put an ailing person in charge of a demanding, pressing, and physically taxing effort? Turd Blossom is not up to it.

[TheCowsCameHome]

27. That's his specialty - managing to create disasters

[damntexdem]

41. Hey, that's right, Dubya will have to change Rove's nickname:

because it's not his turds that have blossomed.

But as to the assignment, look at it this way: anything that will keep a Bushista from his appointed job ... can only make things better.

[Kber]

25. We sure it's not the clap?

Not that I'd want to start an completely unfounded and malicious rumor or anything. ;)

[Enraged_Ape]

28. Not unless you can get the clap from farm animals

Otherwise, I would say rabies, mad cow, or hoof-and-mouth disease would be more likely,.

[Kber]

29. C'mon - he could have picked it up from Gannon.

you never know what viruses you can pick up from the wrong internet link.

[saigon68]

32. NO NO according to insiders HE ALWAYS WEARS A CONDOM

lol

[damntexdem]

42. Were it the clap, I would applaud.

Don't give a dose to the one you rely upon most. ;-)

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

51. Hmmmm...I don't know. That would mean he gets laid. I don't buy it. n/t

[wallwriter]

26. I flag this as Bullshit.

While kidney stones are indeed horribly painful, they do not seem to leave any significant after-effects if they are not large. SO there is no evidence. No visible scar, etc.

As a result, they are the kind of thing you could make a claim to as a cover for damn near anything. This is not meant as a jab at real sufferers.

But when is the last time you heard the truth out of this administration?

[moobu2]

30. I'm not sure what your point is but

I read Rove was laid up from surgery during the time when Bush came back from his 5 week vacation (3 day's after Katrina struck). I cant recall all the details now. I read several news stories that talked about it, anyway, I think Karl Rove did have surgery for a sever kidney stone problem.

[applegrove]

31. Quick! Everyone go out and hoard all the cranberry juice.

[damntexdem]

34. Which type of stones: calcium or uric acid?

I've had the latter. They hurt. ;-(

Calcium stones are smooth; uric stones are crystaline, with sharp edges.

I hope Rove has the latter.

[katty]

40. Rove: Pain inthe Groin,Pain in the Ass...the body speaks volumes

[damntexdem]

43. Hey, maybe he'll get hemorrhoids, too!

;-)

[Robeson]

45. How can a hemorrhoid, get hemorrhoids?....

...:shrug:

[Spinzonner]

47. Shouldn't those be called 'Karma Stones'

[brentspeak]

48. From experience, kidney stones are the most painful things in the world

Believe me, you WANT to pass those things -- and as quickly as possible.

[WhiteTara]

49. May his stones stay with him forever

:kick:

[Massachusetts]

50. Karl Rove's kidney stones.

KKK Karl get an infection please and follow dickless cheney through the Gates of Hell!

[TheStates]

54. And Cheney's having heart surgery.....

Being bad doesn't pay. It really doesn't pay your health....especially in treason situations.

[bluedonkey]

55. Anurism!

Cheney is getting an Anurism fixed.I wish he would explode.The anurism,NOT Cheney.Keep him out of commission for a while.* can't do anything by himself.
Let's see what else he can screw up!

[Dr Batsen D Belfry]

57. His doctors said

surgery was required because his neck was too narrow to pass the stones.

DBDB