My neighbor's letter to President Bush

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

Mods, this came via email and it was written by my next door neighbor-hope it is ok to post it all. He's planning to send it to the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, but it is addressed to Bush:

Dear Mr. President,

I understand there are job openings available with
your administration.

This is a letter of recommendation for an employee of
mine. Mr. Post has
served me loyally for many years, and I know how you
value loyalty above all
else. Mr. Post does lean a bit to the right – but I
expect that is a
requirement for any position with your administration.

Mr. Post has 20 years of experience in the security
field, so I would highly
recommend him for a position with FEMA or Homeland
Security, as those
agencies have so few experienced appointees.

You have had some problems with members of your staff
leaking the identity
of our spies. I can assure you - Mr. Post will not
leak state secrets to the
press. You also put great importance on sticking to a
position, regardless
of changes in the situation. You will appreciate that
Mr. Post has never
wavered from his position either.

Mr. Post has served me well in the position of Gate
Post, a very important
position on a farm like mine. I will miss him.

I understand Mr. Brown is now unemployed. I am willing
to offer him a job. I
am sure you understand that he is not qualified to
replace Mr. Post. But it
has been my experience that most any deadwood will do
as a temporary line
post – if buried deep enough.

You may send your appointment notice to:

Mr. Locust Post
c/o my neighbor
my neighbor's address

[Frances]

1. Brilliant letter

I love it when a person can get a point across with humor.

The Repubs have ridiculed Dems for years, but this letter is funny.

[sinkingfeeling]

2. Do you really think the Fascist Gazette will publish it?

[dbt]

4. The word "Gazette" should never be used to describe that VICIOUS

Yellow RAG that is still the (very misnamed) Arkansas Democrat. Yeah, I get what you were conveying there, sinkingfeeling, but I fear that outsiders will confuse John Robert Starr's FISHWRAP with one of the finest newspapers that ever did exist, The Arkansas Gazette. BIG DIFFERENCE!

Greetings to Fayetteville from LA (Lower Arkansas)!

Remember New Orleans

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

5. glad to know someone else mourns the loss

of Arkansas' Newspaper.

I don't know if my neighbor thinks it will be published, but I wanted to make sure DU was able to read it.

Greetings from Newton County to all Arkansans

[sinkingfeeling]

6. I moved to NW Arkansas in 1991 and my son and I labeled the

'state's' newspaper the Fascist Gazette the first week we were here. It is a terrible rag. I was so shocked by the tone of the editorials and LTTE, that we couldn't think of anything else to call it! When they try to get be to subscribe by handing out free ones at the IGA, I tell them no thanks, they'd have to pay me to read it!

[liberal N proud]

3. Neat little letter

Thanks

[salin]

7. bwahahaha

[guinivere]

8. Funny, well written n/t

[Straight Shooter]

9. Excellent letter, but I would remove the phrase "if buried deep enough"

These are paranoid times for the Secret Service ;)