Christmas 2005: Bush journeys to Gulf Coast with sleigh and bag of toys

[highplainsdem]

MSM, December 24, 2005

For part of his 30th trip to the Gulf Coast this year, President George W. Bush will be traveling by sleigh with a bag of toys. The sleigh and reindeer were sent ahead by cargo plane yesterday. A White House aide has explained that the bag of toys will be with the president on Air Force One today, but no explanation was given.

President Bush, still under fire from his critics for not showing enough concern for the victims of Hurricane Katrina -- criticism that worsened after the official White House Halloween party where children who had lost their homes to the storm were given bags of treats later discovered to include contracts to do campaign ads for the GOP next year -- reportedly chose the Santa theme himself as symbolic of Republican largesse. "He says that's what Republicans stand for," an administration official confided off the record. "A prosperous white gentleman handing out gifts to those he feels deserves them, after they've begged him to remember them."

Plans to have the president's daughters along as two of Santa's elves were changed yesterday following a mysterious altercation outside a Georgetown bar. Details have not yet been released to the media. Karl Rove and Ken Mehlman have agreed to accompany the president as elves. Conservative pundit Ann Coulter also wanted to be one of the elves, and the White House at first agreed to her request, then had to decline when it was discovered the reindeer all tried to run away from her.

With no snow forecast on the Gulf Coast this week, FEMA has been sending fleets of trucks with snow from New England and Colorado. Rumors that the snow was sent by mistake to Saskatchewan and Alaska have been denied by Jeff Gannon, the agency's eighth director this year. Gannon will be riding along in the sleigh as one of the elves, and Beltway observers are disagreeing on whether that is more indicative of Gannon's own concern that this latest visit by the president go perfectly so he won't meet his predecessors' fate, or the president's current high opinion of Gannon, whom he has often praised for "doing a heck of a job." White House insiders refuse to comment on the speculation, other than to assure reporters that Gannon's elf costume is a must-see.

[pepperlove]

1. Please don't give

Karl any new ideas! This would work. :puke:

[highplainsdem]

2. I'd like them to try something like it, just to hear Cafferty's reaction.

He's been so brilliantly scathing lately...

[highplainsdem]

3. Argh. Too late to edit, & I shouldn't have tried writing that over lunch.

And maybe shouldn't have tried writing it at all. Oh, well...

The third sentence there should've read:

A White House aide revealed that the bag of toys will be with the president on Air Force One today, but no explanation was given.