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>> >> >> Subject: A thought to PONDER >> >> >> Date: Wed, 31 Aug 2005 08:51:23 -0500 >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. >> >> >> PRESIDENT,DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE >> >> >> THE FOLLOWING SPEECH? My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the >> >> >> defeat >> >> >> of >> >> >> Iraq regime hasbeen >> >> >> completed. We are currently in the bloody process of reconstruction >> >> >> and >> >> >> the institution of >> >> >> democracy and freedom. It is now to begin the reckoning. Before me, >> >> >> I >> >> >> have two lists. One list >> >> >> contains the names of countrieswhich have stood by our side during >> >> >> the >> >> >> Iraq conflict. This list >> >> >> is short.The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland >> >> >> are >> >> >> some ofthe countries >> >> >> listed there. The other list contains everyone not on the first >> >> >> list. >> >> >> Most of theworld's nations >> >> >> are on that list. My press secretary will be distributingcopies of >> >> >> both >> >> >> lists later this >> >> >> evening. Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign >> >> >> aid >> >> >> tothose nations on List >> >> >> 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The moneysaved during the >> >> >> first >> >> >> year alone will pretty >> >> >> much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. The American people are no >> >> >> longer going to pour money >> >> >> into thirdworld Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow >> >> >> fat >> >> >> oncorruption. Need help >> >> >> with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Either clean up your act >> >> >> or... >> >> >> call France. In the >> >> >> future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect thismoney >> >> >> toward >> >> >> solving the vexing >> >> >> social problems we still have at home and fixing Iraq. Onthat note, >> >> >> a >> >> >> word to terrorist >> >> >> organizations. Screw with us and we willhunt you down and eliminate >> >> >> you >> >> >> and all your friends >> >> >> from the face of theearth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to >> >> >> terrorize? >> >> >> Try France, or maybe >> >> >> Germany. I am ordering the >> >> >> immediate severing of diplomatic relations withFrance,Germany, and >> >> >> Russia. Thanks for all your >> >> >> help, comrades. We areretiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes >> >> >> amis. >> >> >> I have instructed the >> >> >> Mayor of New York City to begin towing the manyUN diplomatic >> >> >> vehicles >> >> >> located in Manhattan with >> >> >> more than two unpaidparking tickets to sites where those vehicles >> >> >> will >> >> >> be >> >> >> stripped, shredded >> >> >> andcrushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. >> >> >> Youcreeps have tens of >> >> >> thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrowor watch >> >> >> your >> >> >> precious Benzes, Beamers >> >> >> and limos be turned over to someof the finest chop shops in the >> >> >> world. >> >> >> I >> >> >> love New York . A >> >> >> special note toour neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are >> >> >> likely >> >> >> to be seeing alot more >> >> >> of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us offfor a >> >> >> change. Mexico is also on >> >> >> List 2. President Fox and his entire corruptgovernment really need >> >> >> an >> >> >> attitude adjustment. >> >> >> There's a reason why Mexicans are migrating northward. Oh, and we >> >> >> don't >> >> >> mind having your people >> >> >> work for us either.So start doing something with your oil. Oh, by >> >> >> the >> >> >> way, the United States is >> >> >> abrogating the NAFTA treaty >> >> >> -Starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, >> >> >> we'll >> >> >> be >> >> >> drillingfor oil in >> >> >> Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs >> >> >> fordecades >> >> >> to >> >> >> come. If you're an >> >> >> environmentalist who opposes this >> >> >> decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move >> >> >> there. >> >> >> They care. It is time for >> >> >> America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.Some will >> >> >> accuse >> >> >> us of isolationism. I >> >> >> answer them by saying, "darntootin." Nearly a century of trying to >> >> >> help >> >> >> folks live a decent life >> >> >> aroundthe world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about >> >> >> everyone onthe planet. It is >> >> >> time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time toeliminate >> >> >> homelessness >> >> >> in America. It is time >> >> >> to eliminate World Cup Soccerfrom America. To the nations on List >> >> >> 1, a >> >> >> final thought. Thanks >> >> >> guys. Weowe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a >> >> >> final >> >> >> thought: You might want >> >> >> to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good >> >> >> night.
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