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I cannot believe those cops. Here is another fine example of moronic conservatives.
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT,
DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has
been completed. We are currently in the bloody process of reconstruction and the institution of democracy and freedom.
It is now to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short.
The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of
the countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing
copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money
saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third
world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on
corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Either clean up your act or... call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home and fixing Iraq. On
that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will
hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the
earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe Germany. I am ordering the
immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
France,Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You
creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow
or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some
of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York . A special note to
our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a
lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off
for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt
government really need an attitude adjustment. There's a reason why Mexicans are migrating northward.
Oh, and we don't mind having your people work for us either.
So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty
-
Starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling
for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for
decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this
decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn
tootin." Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around
the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on
the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to
eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer
from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We
owe you and we won't forget.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America.
Thank you and good night. If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
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