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Multilevel marketing organizations never have "workers." Everyone's a manager.
Join the Acme Water Filter, Tahitian Noni Juice, Chromium Picolinate, Mineral Makeup, Penis Enlargement Device, Cheap Long Distance and Prepaid Legal Aid Pyramid Marketing Corporation, and you're automatically a manager. Most people "manage" to lose the $175 they paid to become a manager, but that's managing too, right?
Okay, so you've got the Acme PMC. It's got Team Managers, Group Managers, Area Managers, District Managers, Region Managers and so on all the way up to Super Master Group Top Dog Managers who have thousands and thousands of other managers out there, all selling face cream and disgusting juice ("Gee, Ma, it tastes like stale piss so it's got to be doing SOMETHING, right?") to each other because no one else will buy the shit.
In the same way, when you join al Qaeda by paying only 485 dinars to an al Qaeda recruiter, you not only join the most famous of all worldwide terrorism multilevel marketing corporations, but you immediately become a number-two man!
In fact, if you join al Qaeda today, not only will you receive the special al Qaeda headscarf ("not sold in stores!"), the special al Qaeda AK-47, discounts on high explosives, a "welcome to the group!" message from the man who's most responsible for making us who we are today (no, not Osama, you fool; the Great Satan George W. Bush!) and a box of motivational reading material including the worldwide hits "5000 Reasons to Hate the Imperialist Yankee Dogs" and "101 Fiendish Plans," you'll also receive 500 al Qaeda business cards. These beautiful, professionally printed cards will show the world that you are the Number Two Man in al Qaeda for the Corner of 112th Street and South Main, a very prestigious post that only YOU can hold!
So don't be a bum. Be somebody. Be a Number Two Man in al Qaeda!
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