If it's no ones business TAKE YOUR WEDDING BAND OFF!

[titoresque]

Really..take it off!!!!

If you think sexual orientation is no ones business, then why flaunt it?!

A wedding band is a symbol of sexual orientation. Homosexuals are denied the right to legally marry. So when you see a person with a wedding band, do you wonder if they are gay? NO!
You assume they are heterosexual! I will even bet that a lot of you have even suspected someone to be gay and then looked to see if they were wearing a wedding band so that you could be sure.

My 2 cents.

[kweerwolf]

1. And while they are at it ...

... no more pictures of spouses and kids on office desks. Sheesh! Talk about flaunting one's orientation!
:evilgrin:

[On the Road]

34. I Used to Work for a Gay Guy

who had a framed picture of the Partridge Family on his desk. It was a big inside joke.

[nickinSTL]

2. What?

I've known lots of gay couples who have gone through commitment ceremonies and WEAR WEDDING RINGS!

Whether you wear a wedding ring or not is no indicator of whether or not you're gay or straight.

[CrispyQ]

7. It is also no indicator of whether or not you're married! --eom

[titoresque]

11. yes it is

to the general public, and until gay marriage is legalized and more widely accepted it is definitely an indicator!

[SeattleGirl]

36. Um, no it's not.

I used to wear a wedding ring when I wasn't married becuse of the job I had -- working in an alcohol/drug treatment center. Even in a toxic state, most of the men behaved themselves with me when they say the ring. Before I started wearing it, they thought I was fair game.

[titoresque]

40. but when you started wearing it........

they assumed you had a...............husband??
or did they then inquire if you had a wife or husband?

[SeattleGirl]

44. Most assumed.

But I also know people who are married who don't wear rings, at least at work, because they could pose a danger (mechanics, etc who use their hands in potentially dangerous situations).

My point was that the ring does not matter so much as does the relationship it represents. The absence of a ring does not mean absence of a relationship any more than the presence of one means a person is committed to that relationship. That make sense?

Sorry, I have not eaten anything yet today, and my blood sugar is dropping fast, so I'd better stop trying to make any sense until I eat something! B-)

[blondeatlast]

63. BS. Prior to my marriage, I would wear one to AVOID being hit on.

Now, I don't bother wearing one at all, and I've been happily married for 9 years.

If you think I'm the only single woman who figured that out, you are very mistaken.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

67. Yes, it is total BS.

And I did the same as you, especially when traveling on business.

I don't wear a wedding band. I wear a ring that symbolizes the commitment we made to each other two months after we met, and I wear it on my right hand because that's where it's most comfortable.

My former boss wears his 'wedding' ring on his left hand and never explains his relationship to anyone who doesn't know him personally. I've known him for over 20 years and he has always been very circumspect about his sexuality, especially in business situations.

If people want to read 'straight' into a wedding ring that's their hangup.

[txaslftist]

3. Uh. My wedding band says a lot more than that I'm straight.

It says I'm unavailable. It says I'm committed for life to someone else. It says I've entered into a union of the flesh with God's blessing. It says something I'm proud of.

And I don't have to wear it. I choose to wear it.

My sexual orientation IS no one else's business unless I make it so.

[oregonjen]

13. Exactly!

Very well said and I concur. :hi:

[ContraBass Black]

16. I think the OP is making a sarcastic comparison to complaints

of homosexuals flaunting themselves publicly.

[titoresque]

38. BINGO!

:)

[ContraBass Black]

55. Subtlety doesn't get a point across nowadays.

You might need to leave hints.

[Enraged_Ape]

20. I tend to agree

A wedding band is a sign that the wearer is not in the "free market", so to speak. It helps to stave off a lot of harrassment that the wearer would otherwise be open to.

By the way, there is nothing stopping gay people, or anyone else for that matter, from wearing a gold band on their left ring finger.

[FreedomAngel82]

23. Hear hear

To me a wedding ring showcases how you're unavailable and you're very much taken whether gay or straight. It's a lifetime commentment and I know someday when I get married I'll wear it because I want to show the world I'm taken for life. :)

[mondo joe]

66. Now you're getting it. Saying someone has a same sex partner says

a lot more than that he or she is straight.

[CottonBear]

4. Or, every adult could wear a wedding band and thus confuse everyone.

;)

[smoogatz]

5. Hell, take your pants off!

It's just a good idea.

[Fleshdancer]

8. rofl!

why stop at pants? Let's just take it all off

[bryant69]

9. Well, probably not. In my case, anyway.

See I've got these . . . well probably better if you don't know the details.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[madrchsod]

6. ?

i`ve never wore a wedding band for 25 years..well in fact i`ve never owned a ring of any kind for 45 years. rings and fingers just don`t mix in my line of work

[titoresque]

15. me neither and I am

a lesbian and I consider myself married, have been together for 9 years. But yes it's my opinion that the majority of people still consider a wedding band a good indication that the person wearing it is hetero.

[BOHICA06]

10. Okay ...

it gets caught on things when I'm wrenching anyway!! Damn thing are dangerous.

Does this apply to rainbow stickers too??

[woodsprite]

27. Don't even go there with the rainbow stickers..

a friend and I were driving yesterday and he got behind a car. We were having a blast reading his bumperstickers and he noticed a rainbow sticker. He said "I guess that means he's gay." I told him it does not. It may mean he is, or has a relative who is, maybe he supports the right to be gay if you want to OR MAYBE HE JUST LIKES RAINBOWS!!!

Hmmmmmph!

[northzax]

35. I have a Human Rights Campaign one on my car

and yet, I like the girls.

[Kingshakabobo]

49. I saw an HRC sticker next to a "W" sticker last week.

I wanted to nudge their car in to cross-traffic.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

12. I don't wear a wedding ring but I have been married 33 years.

My husband doesn't wear one, either.

I don't believe I have ever looked for a ring to determine whether or not a person was gay. I don't think I ever cared enough.

Also, I have a couple of gay colleagues who are not "legally" married but whose "marriage" I attended. They both wear wedding rings.

I think perhaps there is an apples and oranges issue here. There are gay folks for whom their gay identity is as much political as it is sexual. I would assume they are just fine with openness. But there are homosexuals who don't consider themselves "gay" in a political way. They just have a particular sexual orientation and prefer their own gender as lovers. We all have a right to privacy, whether it is what we do in the bedroom, how we vote, our bank accounts, whether we dye our hair...

But hypocrisy in those who shout "homosexuality is a sin" and then have liaisons in bathrooms... well, I think hypocrisy is fair game for exposure.

[zulchzulu]

14. I take mine off when I do home repairs sometimes...

Mortaring and wedding rings don't mix. I like putting my hands in the cement for some projects.

[woodsprite]

17. My wedding band is a symbol of a promise made

by my husband and myself to eachother. Way before we had kids, house, other committments, etc. It has nothing to do with my sexual orientation. It has only been off my hand 2x in 20 years - the last few weeks of pregancy with both our son and daughter - and that was only because my dr. threatened that he'd cut it off if need be.

[titoresque]

25. yes I agree with all that

Im not arguing that it has symbolic meaning beyond sexual orientation.
Im saying this for all the people who don't get it that for a large majority of people; if you wear a wedding band you are also making another statment...and that is, that you are heterosexual.
I understand that if gay marriage is legalized someday there will be a shift in thinking.

[northzax]

53. and you don't think

people should be able to make that sort of statement, of their own volition?

[DistressedAmerican]

18. That Is The First Time I Have Heard The Claim That My Wedding

ring signifies that I am straight. All this time I thought it symbolized my life long comittment to my spouse.

I think it meant the same to my several gay friends that have gotten "married". They wear their rings as a symbol of comittment not their heterosexuality.

[titoresque]

31. yes read #25

I can't keep up to explain.
I agree, but you are making another clear statement as well.

[malachibk]

19. I wear a wedding band and I'm gay

And unmarried. We wear them because it's a demonstration of our committment to each other.

[titoresque]

37. yeah me too

I don't wear mine so much anymore...but when I did everyone asked me about my husband.

Maybe this is my experience alone? I don't think so though.
Have been with my partner for 9 years (wife) and we consider ourselves married. Have had a commitment ceremony and raise our 2 kids.

[DistressedAmerican]

43. You KNOW That I Love You. But, I Just Can't Get With This One.

I see where you are going.

But, My ring means what I meant it to mean. If society takes some other cue, that is their problem not the wearers of rings.

Really do love ya though!:pals:

[titoresque]

59. I know, and some clarification

I worked for a big company here in Phoenix, they seem to own most of the town......as I found out later while looking for a lawyer that might represent me. Anyhow, I had a small 2 inch rainbow sticker on my computer at my desk. I was told to remove it as it was offensive and suggested my sexual orientation.
Of course I agree with all of you....my employers request was absurd and discriminatory.

I countered their attack by filing a complaint and requesting that all wedding bands and family photos depiciting a heterosexual lifestyle be removed from desks....and fingers. I went one further..just because I was so pissed and suggested that while they were at it, remove all religious pictures and quotes from desks as well because that too may well be offensive.

Anyhow, I won the battle although working their became very uncomfortable.

The point to my OP was a reaction from another thread, and I should have kept it there because it took on a whole new meaning and arguement here. :)
Oh well...
Thanks for the nice comments. :pals:

[sandnsea]

21. I did years and years ago

Decided I didn't like the whole branded thing. But I have never ever in my life concluded someone's sexual orientation by whether they have on a wedding ring. Sorry, that just seems a bit goofy to me.

[NewJeffCT]

22. If I move to Massachusetts, can i keep it on?

what about when I lived in CT and worked in Mass a few years back? Could I slip it on when I crossed the border & then take it off at night on the way home?

[txaslftist]

26. You know someone in Mass. you don't want to know you're married?

fess up.

[NewJeffCT]

41. um, no

I was being sarcastic. I had meant that since I should be taking my wedding band off in the states that don't allow gay marriage, would I be able to put it back on if I moved to Massachusetts because they do allow gay marriage? Or, if I got a job in Mass again, would I then be able to put my wedding ring on when I cross the border only to have to take it off when I returned home to CT at night?

[txaslftist]

46. I know. I was attempting to be humorical.

[northzax]

24. you are missing the point

if I choose to wear a wedding ring (I am not married) I am choosing to announce something to the world. I make that choice, it's not mandatory. no one is saying that a person can't make that decision for themselves, you could certainly choose to wear a ring, or put a picture of your significant other on your desk. but no one should make that decision for you.

[kid a]

28. I take mine off when my wife is out of town

:evilgrin:

[northzax]

32. that's ok, so does she!

:evilgrin:

[BOHICA06]

45. ROFLMAO!!!!

[kid a]

50. NO!!!!!!!!Say it aint so!

[northzax]

52. well I didn't see one last weekend!

:evilgrin:

[sui generis]

29. wear one - queer and unlawfully married - and flaunting it

just yesterday some freak left a note on my windshield to 'member to vote FOR THE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE and AGAINST THE SAME SEX MARRIAGE to ensure the survival of our children and grandchildren. Mmmm hmmm.

I walked that note into the garage security (in Ft. Worth) and was ready to rip them a new ass in three places, when the woman looked up and said, "you wouldn't believe how many people have come in here mad about this!" and apologized for it happening.

In Ft. Worth, Texas.

Well, we'll see how the vote goes in November - the cities are blue to light blue anyway, - it's just the uptight holier-than-thou country bumpkins that are trying to tell everyone else how to live, for the most part.

[StellaBlue]

30. I don't assume that.

My best friend is a lesbian, and has a long-term partner for four years, and they are thinking of marrying when it is legalized in the UK, and they have both been wearing rings on THAT finger forever.

I don't assume anything like that. I also have Spanish friends who both wore plain, wedding-band-style rings when they were in long engagements... which I thought was nice and less sexist than the usual 'taken' women with the 'rock'. And much cheaper and less exploitative to Africans. Etc.

[dogday]

33. I believe it is a symbol of unity of commitment to each other

[sui generis]

39. Preaching to the choir here titoresque

most everyone here is on our side.

Anyway, wedding rings signify commitment. By "flaunting", queer haters mean "being alive".

There is nothing you can do besides be married and have 3.5 children that would not qualify as "flaunting".

In their own way, at the end of the day, they want to control what women can and can't do with their uterus, and what all of us can and can't do with our reproductive organs.

If you aren't reproducing, you're flaunting. So "flaunt" away - you don't have to be gay to flaunt that you are in charge of your own body and life.

[Inland]

42. I wear my wedding band for my spouse.

If you want to make some sort of presumption that means I'm straight or legally married, that's your business.

[Minimus]

47. But I'm materialistic and I love jewelry.

[jane_pippin]

48. My friend and his boyfriend wear rings for each other, but I'll go ahead

and tell them to stop acting so hetero. :shrug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

51. Who the hell

cares if you're married or unmarried, heterosexual or homosexual... it doesn't matter. That ring signifies commitment. When I see a wedding ring, I think, "Commitment." That's all it ever has to stand for.

[CBGLuthier]

54. I would say your 2 cents

Are worth about half a penny on this one.

Did you know a lot of married people no longer have sex. Can they keep their rings in your world.

DId you know a lot of married and unmarried and straight and gay people like to do certain things in their bedrooms that they would not want their mothers to know about. They would like a little privacy.

This whole argument is one of the silliest and that is saying a lot for this place lately.

Here, I will make you happy, I have been married for 20 years. I wear a ring and yes a long time ago I slept with a few men and a more than a few women.

Do you feel better knowing this about me. Are you fulfilled now.

[cynatnite]

56. Wedding bands are NOT about sexual orientation...

I know two men who have been together for almost fifteen years and they wear wedding bands.

[Atman]

57. Uh...I just put mine back ON after 15 years.

I and can assure you, it's no symbol of my sexual orientation. It's a symbol of committment.

However, one should never wear a cock ring in public.

[Coexist]

58. I recently had to take mine off - what I thought for decades was

eczema was finally diagnosed as a nickel allergy. My ring was gold, so I removed it until DH ponys up for a platinum one (...sound of crickets chirping...) yup, any day now.

Anyway - since then, I have been hit on several times. Once by a man who told me he "heard it through the grapevine" that I was recently divorced. WTF???

So anyhow - it does more than say you have a piece of paper in the file cabinet - it keeps the singles away!!

[cynatnite]

61. Not always... ;)

Handsome hubby I have still got picked on by single women when he wore his wedding band. It came off with the rest of his finger in a work related accident.

[titoresque]

60. To Clarify..maybe, please read #59

I don't type fast enough :)

[Matariki]

62. i've got gay friends who wear wedding and engagement rings

just because our laws don't yet recognize their marriages doesn't mean they're NOT married.

[TrogL]

64. I'm gay, I wear a wedding band

[lanlady]

65. what's the problem?

A wedding band is a sign of commitment to another person, not of sexual orientation.

[Lindacooks]

68. That has to be one of the stupidest things I've ever read on this board.

Congratulations.

[Dunedain]

69. No one is flaunting "it"

I disagree it represents orientation, it's convention.
Of the gay couples I know, they all wear rings.
My ex-wife will shove her five carat diamond ring in your face, and it isn't because of her sexual orientation,
or that it signifies her commitment; it's an ostentatious display of her wealth.
I think your spoiling for a fight over a convention that has it's roots in a paradigm, one which your fighting for acceptance in.
Am I naive in thinking that it matters more what you feel in your heart, than what is allowed in your time?
I must be.
Your probably right a good measure of the time about assumptions.
You'd lose your bet with me about peeking, I don't think in those terms.

I'll double down.

[paineinthearse]

70. "Homosexuals are denied the right to legally marry."?????

Not in my commonwelth.

[neuvocat]

71. You should take your prejudices off.

Seriously. We're in an age where a wedding band simply tells people that someone is married. That's it. You need to change your perceptions and grow up in this world instead of expecting everyone to conform to what you think is appropriate.

[cassiepriam]

72. I am flaunting my diamond, not my marriage :)) eom

[Solly Mack]

73. I don't wear one

My husband does though. :)

[BiggJawn]

74. I'm STR8, but I don't wear one...

Not married.

Hell, that in itself probably has people doing that flip-down thing with their hands...