Law & Order: G.O.P.
A ParodyA Teleplay in Four Acts
(With apologies to Dick Wolf)Prologue
SCENE 1:Night. New York City. Two men walk down a darkened street, laughing and talking; a crowd of people stream out of a subway station.Man 1: I so hate the Red Sox! We lost that game, they didn’t win it!
Man 2: I hear ya, man. What was Torre thinking? He should have left Tino in; he’s really hot right now!
Man 1: Steinbrenner’s head is gonna explode any day now . . .
We hear a loud “Pop”, followed by three more.Man 2: What is that?
Man 1: Get down!
Both men crouch down behind a car as a figure runs out of the alley, across the street, and disappears into the departing game crowd. The men stand up and look at each other, then cautiously peer down the alley.Man 2: Oh man! Call the cops!
SCENE 2:A few hours later. The two men stand, leaning against a patrol car, its lights, as well as the lights of several others, flashing. They talk earnestly to a patrolman, who is scribbling into a notebook; he nods, then turns and walks over to a tall black man in a brown overcoat with a badge clipped to his lapel. He is Detective Ed Green. Green: Let me guess, they didn’t see a thing.
Policeman: Naturally. It is pretty dark here, and the perp ran across the street and was into the crowd before they could eyeball him. He was wearing a Yankees jacket.
Green: Who isn’t, in this city?
Briscoe:
Detective Lennie Briscoe strolls up. I don’t know – I’m a Mets fan myself.
Green looks at Briscoe, startled.Green: Lennie! I thought you were dead!
Briscoe: Not on TNT pal, not on TNT! Did our Yankees fan leave anything with the body?
Policeman: If you mean was this a robbery, no. The victim still had his wallet.
Green: The man wants to be a detective! He could have been interrupted, you know.
Policeman: Hard to see how. You’d have to be crazy to go down a dead end alley like this at night. And there doesn’t look like there was much of a struggle. Looks to me like he went down there willingly.
Briscoe: Like he knew his killer. You might make Detective yet, Patrolman.
Green:
Holding the wallet. Two drivers licenses. One’s for here, one’s for DC. Says his name was Scooter Libby. Sounds like a kid’s vegetable.
Briscoe:
Looking at the body as it’s wheeled out on a stretcher. Well, he’s passed his expiration date.
They watch as the body is put into an ambulance. The door is slammed. Fade.CUE OPENING CREDITS AND MUSIC: LAW & ORDER: G.O.P.You can read the rest here on my blogsite:
http://teflonsoapbox.blogspot.com/
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