A Good Laugh about Schwartzenneger's "100 Days!" from NYO.

[KoKo]

Arnold Über Alles! Taking the State By
Storm

by Bruce Feirstein

Arnold, the first hundred days. Was it a dream, or a nightmare?
I’ll let you be the judge.

Oct. 8, 2003. Midnight. Crickets. The rustle of wind. Before all
the votes are even counted, before the winner has been
officially declared—bam!—a skylight
shatters in Sacramento, as Arnold and a half-dozen nameless
and faceless mercenaries in black camo-gear abseil on ropes
down into the state capitol amidst a shower of glass. Crouching
in the darkness—armed with little more than a veto and 2,000
rocket-propelled-grenade launchers—Arnold rises to his feet and declares: "This is
my future. This is my birthright. This is my destiny. Let’s govern!"

Oct. 12, 2003. Cell-phone service fails in Southern California—accompanied by a
crippling shortage of wicker—as 11 million agents, managers, lawyers and
entertainment moguls simultaneously send fruit baskets, congratulating the new
Governor on his victory. After conducting extensive interviews, Variety reports that
all 11 million insist they voted for Arnold—representing an astounding 279 percent
of his final vote count.

Oct. 22, 2003. Maria Shriver returns to work at NBC. She interviews herself.

Oct. 24, 2003. Inexplicably, whenever the Governor-elect leaves the statehouse, his
motorcade immediately morphs into a giant high-speed car-chase action sequence
involving gas tankers, fire engines and mobile cranes, resulting in an unprecedented
display of flying windshields and sheet metal, carnage and civic destruction. On the
bright side, crime, gas prices, traffic jams and the freeway-maintenance budget are
all reduced, as Californians stay home to watch live broadcasts of the daily
mayhem.

More at.............http://www.observer.com/pages/newyorkdiary.asp

[jmcgowanjm]

1. Good one-thanx KoKo01 n/t

[central scrutinizer]

2. here's another good one

http://www.workingforchange.com/article.cfm?ItemID=15754

from Will Durst, excerpt:

An Arnold Schwarzenegger stump speech
To the good people Colliephonia and stuff


Hello to you good people of Colliephonia. It is gratificating for me to see so many of you here in the Stockton part of the state who have come to see me in these times when it is so important that we are tossing out an evil governor who has chased jobs away to other states and is not able to attend to business here because he has been too busy taking these illegal handouts from these unions and these Indian tribes here. Let me tell you something, and listen to what I'm saying here, loud and clear, this is Total Recall and its time for us to say Hasta la Vista, Davis.

[KoKo]

3. That IS a good one. Love the "Colliephonia!" Just the way he says it!

Drove me crazy everytime he pronounced it that way!

[nolabels]

4. That was the pretty good, have they wrote the screen play yet?

This day really gives me a chuckle,

(snip)
Dec. 1, 2003. The Empire State Strikes Back: Feeling left out of all the brouhaha, New Yorkers want somebody tougher, somebody grittier, somebody who can "kick Arnold’s steroid-filled butt." By universal acclamation, a new Governor is installed: Harvey Keitel. When asked by The Times when he’s going to hold his first press conference, Mr. Keitel’s newly appointed press secretary, Christopher Walken, replies, "How about never?"
(snip)

Kind of wondering what categories of the video store sections they will feature it in when the new Movie gets made, will it be: Horror, Children’s, Comedy, Exercise, Adventure, Sci-fi, Drama, Documentary, Adult or Spaghetti Western?



http://www.ucomics.com/tomtoles/index.phtml

On edit: I hate the red ink of edits, so I thought

[Jakov]

6. LOL

You owe me a new keyboard..

[ignatius]

5. Calisthenics. The beach. Everybody.Dawn. Trust me.

Too funny, thanks for posting.