Considering a career change? Here's an FBI application

[mumon]

http://www.fbi.gov/employment/FD-140_pg3.pdf

This has gotta be one of the unintentionally funniest pieces of documents created by our Federal government.

Consider:

It's got spaces for 3- count 'em 3 colleges & universities -the same number as foreign countries you may have visited!

One of my favorites:

Have you engaged in acts or activities designed to overthrow the United States Government by force?___Yes ____No If yes, provide details.

Well...maybe they will overlook my attempt to campaign for McGovern in the 70s...and they'll still hire me, right?

Here's another goody:

Did you register with the Selective Service System as required. Yes No If yes, provide the following:
Registration Number Location (City, State, Zip Code)
If no, provide reason

Uh... but it wasn't required for me!

This is chock full of irony, folks. Or, maybe the guy who dreamed it up (only taking approximately 8 hours to fill out) has some serious anhedonia!

[Gman]

1. Does this mean a member of the Republican Party?

"Are you now or have you been a member of a foreign or domestic organization, association, movement, group, or combination of persons that is totalitarian, fascist, communist, or subversive or that has adopted or shows a policy of advocating or approving acts of force or violence to deprive other persons of their rights under the Constitution of the United States or that seeks to alter the form of Government of the United States by unconstitutional
means? Yes No If yes, provide details."

[mumon]

2. I think it would discredit his whole administration...

I mean, they all associate with a traitor.

[AmandaRuth]

10. my take

or that seeks to alter the form of Government of the United States by unconstitutional
means? Yes No If yes, provide details."


Impeach - Recall - Redraw.


They are all traitors. Every single last one who id's as a rethug

[mumon]

3. Here's one I missed:

Was any disciplinary action taken against you while you were in school or were you dismissed or suspended from school for academic reasons?
M Yes M No If yes, provide the name of the school, the action, and the date of action below.

I got sent to the principal's office a few times in grade school...

[Julien Sorel]

4. You think it's funny, but they actually go back and

interview people who knew you in grade school. I've been interviewed a couple of times about people I knew, and a friend applied to the CIA, and they interviewed some of his grade school teachers. He got rejected, because a person who knew him casually in the military felt that he drank too much -- he got drunk a couple of times, and that was it. I tried to be as careful as possible in giving my answers, but they try to trip you up and twist stuff around. These people live in a black-and-white world, and they have no room for a sense of humor or perspective.

[jmm]

6. Sigh

I should've known being banned from the school store in high school would come to haunt me. Now I shall never work for the FBI. :cry:

[lanlady]

5. the 140 is the standard fed gov application form--

--not just FBI. It's maddening because, as you found out, some things just don't make sense. But the form has been that way for years and years, so it has a certain ridiculous quaintness (or quaint ridiculousness?)

[mumon]

Is it any wonder these people are so f*cked up?

Like Henry Miller said, if you don't do the little sins, chances are you're into the big ones.

This process ONLY weeds out people who are capable of committing the big sins.

[mumon]

9. Is it any wonder these people are so f*cked up?

Like Henry Miller said, if you don't do the little sins, chances are you're into the big ones.

This process ONLY weeds out people who are capable of committing the big sins.

[NNN0LHI]

7. You have to be either a lawyer or a certified public accountant to be FBI

At least it was that way a few years ago.

Don

[mumon]

8. I can imagine

why someone might lie about being a CPA- they might want to hide that fact from the FBI...then they get caught! "Ha! We found out you really were a CPA!"