Got this from freep brother in law this morning....

[pdx_prog]

This may be a dupe....I have seen some before, but not all..


You Might be a Leftist If . . .
By Marc Levin
FrontPageMagazine.com | October 8, 2003


-You believe John Ashcroft poses a greater danger to America than Osama bin Laden

-You think President Bush lied to the nation but his predecessor did not.

-You believe President Bush is too dumb to be President and Arnold Schwarzenegger is too dumb to be Governor of California, but the Dixie Chicks, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Barbra Streisand, Eddie Vedder and Jeanine Garofalo are qualified to discourse at length on foreign policy.

-You believe all conservatives are racist, but do not think minorities can ever succeed without Affirmative Action.

-You can't decide which is worse: the Patriot Act or the Patriot Missile.

-You believe Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il, and Yasser Arafat were fairly and democratically elected, but President Bush was not.

-You root for prisoners when they escape from our oppressive prisons, but oppose allowing poor children to escape from failing public schools.

-You support every kind of "diversity" on campus, except political orientation.

-You support banning the smoking of tobacco and legalizing marijuana.

-You are enraged by the so-called mistreatment of Muslim prisoners (who have gained weight while dining on their specially prepared Koran-approved meals) at Guantanamo Bay, but believe the world should have stood idly by while Saddam Hussein filled mass graves.

-You have found where the right to an abortion is written in the Constitution but cannot find where the Constitution provides for a right to keep and bear arms.

-You support campus speech codes that ban pick-up lines and amorous gazes, but never spoke out against President Clinton's physical sexual harassment in the White House.

-You applauded Jimmy Carter for talking about human rights in foreign policy but opposed George W. Bush for doing something about human rights.

-You believe that trial lawyers taking 33 to 40 percent of a plaintiff's recovery in lawsuits is just about right, but the federal government taking this amount of our income in taxes is not nearly enough.

-You believe the former Governor of a New England state with 608,827 people is more than adequately experienced to be President in 2004, but the Governor of a Southwestern state with 21,325,018 people was completely unprepared in 2000.

-You agree with Toni Morrison that President Clinton was "the first black President," but didn't criticize Al Sharpton for recently labeling President Bush a "gang leader."

-You believe we could get more truth out of the Pentagon if only Don Rumsfeld were replaced by Mohammed Al-Sahhaf.

-You believe evangelical Christians are destroying America but don't feel threatened by the radical Wahabbi sect of Islam.

-When it comes to violent crime, you believe in hating the crime but loving the criminal.

-You support unlimited appeals for convicted criminals, but believe it is undemocratic for Californians to reverse their earlier mistake of electing Gray Davis.

-You believe U.S. exports of genetically modified foods pose a greater threat to African nations than corrupt dictators like Zimbabwe's Mugabe.

-You believe welfare is a fundamental human right and workfare is a human rights violation.

-You believe religion is a scourge on our society, but becoming one with Mother Nature by merging with the universal consciousness and harmonizing with lunar reverberations will save us.

-You believe President Bush is an environmental criminal for poisoning the water with arsenic, but have never complained about Saddam Hussein's devastating Iraq and Kuwait's environment by setting intentional oil well fires and committing genocide against the Marsh Arabs by draining their wetlands.

-Your car sports the bumper sticker saying that "it will be a great day when our schools have all the money they need and the military has to hold bake sales," but oppose allowing the U.S. military to volunteer recruitment tables on college campuses because of their "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

If the above has successfully profiled you, congratulations! You have won a one-way ticket to Paris aboard the massive cruise ship, "The U.S.S.R. Michael Moore." Your ticket will be held at the nearest Dennis Kucinich for President rally. Matricular consular ID cards issued by foreign governments will be gladly accepted as identification.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[shanti]

1. this is old

and we have our version for the pukes, right back at 'em!

[JHB]

2. Forum Rules

3. If you post an article or other published content which is from a conservative source or which expresses a traditionally conservative viewpoint, you must state your opinion about the piece and/or the issues it raises.

Not to pick on you, but I've seen this crap too much. At least tell us how you intend to answer him.

[pdx_prog]

4. Going to lovingly forward this to him...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=512029

[Q]

3. If you don't address this issue...

..and respond to it when you post it .it just becomes propaganda for the RWingers.

[Room101]

5. ...........Send him this

George W. Bush’s


Accomplishments As President

· In my first three years in office over 3.4 million Americans lost their job.

· Spent the surplus

· Shattered record for biggest annual deficit (500 billion) in history.

· Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

· Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

· Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in history.

· Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans by 14.6 billion

· Cut hazard pay for troops serving in Iraq

· Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive’.

· Covered up for my rich friends the Saudi’s, for financing two 911 highjackers. 15 out of the 19 highjackers were from Saudi Arabia. (None from Iraq)

· Used forged evidence and lied about “Weapons of mass destruction” to get us into a Quagmire in Iraq. (Then taunted the Guerillas to kill our troops by saying “ Bring them on”)

· Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in U.S. history.

Records and References

· I’m AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.

· Republican Trent Lott (1999)“ We can support the troops without supporting the president”

· Republican Theodore Roosevelt, 26th US President “To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.”

[pdx_prog]

6. Saved in my "ammo" directory...:)

[niyad]

7. are we supposed to regard being leftist as a bad thing?

[arcane1]

8. I think that holds the record for most strawmen in one list

and guess what? I'm a leftist and believe NONE of that nonsense

there ya go

[dwckabal]

9. I'll take a stab at it...

-You believe John Ashcroft poses a greater danger to America than Osama bin Laden

Depends on what you mean by danger. bin Laden certainly can't try to eneact laws taking away our civil liberties from his hidaway cave, can he?

-You think President Bush lied to the nation but his predecessor did not.

Which is worse: A lie to protect your marriage, or a lie that gets hundreds (thousands?) killed?

-You believe President Bush is too dumb to be President and Arnold Schwarzenegger is too dumb to be Governor of California, but the Dixie Chicks, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Barbra Streisand, Eddie Vedder and Jeanine Garofalo are qualified to discourse at length on foreign policy.

Sometimes one can gain insight from common sense. Certainly these people are entitled to their opinions, and Janine Garafolo did a wonderful job on Crossfire against Tucker Carlson.

-You believe all conservatives are racist, but do not think minorities can ever succeed without Affirmative Action.

What does racism have to do with AA, other than one was created to counter the other? As long as there is racism, AA will ne necessary to some degree.

-You can't decide which is worse: the Patriot Act or the Patriot Missile.

The Patriot Act, unless Patriot missiles are used on the US.

-You believe Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il, and Yasser Arafat were fairly and democratically elected, but President Bush was not.

I don't know of anyone who believes Saddam, Kim and Arafat were elected period, much less fairly, but I know quite a few who know that the pResident was not.

-You root for prisoners when they escape from our oppressive prisons, but oppose allowing poor children to escape from failing public schools.

This is just ridiculous. I cheer when wrongly convicted people are released, and I wonder just where these poor children are going to escape to? Drugs and crime would be my guess.

-You support every kind of "diversity" on campus, except political orientation.

Unlike some who support no diversity at all.

-You support banning the smoking of tobacco and legalizing marijuana.

cigarettes=cancer
pot=munchies

Hmm, which would you rather have?

-You are enraged by the so-called mistreatment of Muslim prisoners (who have gained weight while dining on their specially prepared Koran-approved meals) at Guantanamo Bay, but believe the world should have stood idly by while Saddam Hussein filled mass graves.

This statement equates all Muslims with Saddam, which is not true. And of course, I'd like to see your "proof" of these portly prisoners.

-You have found where the right to an abortion is written in the Constitution but cannot find where the Constitution provides for a right to keep and bear arms.

Which is more important: the right to make decisions about one's own body, or the right to buy a piece of metal that than kill someone as easy as twitching your finger?

-You support campus speech codes that ban pick-up lines and amorous gazes, but never spoke out against President Clinton's physical sexual harassment in the White House.

Please name a campus that has such a ban. I think plenty of people were outraged over Clinton's sexual harassment (unless you are talking about Monica, and that was consensual.

-You applauded Jimmy Carter for talking about human rights in foreign policy but opposed George W. Bush for doing something about human rights.

Hmm, I don't recall Bush ever doing ANYTHING about human rights except for himslef and his cronies. the war in Iraq had nothing to do with human rights and everything to do with oil.

-You believe that trial lawyers taking 33 to 40 percent of a plaintiff's recovery in lawsuits is just about right, but the federal government taking this amount of our income in taxes is not nearly enough.

To paraphrase Chris Rock:

If you make $30,000, and (a lawyer, the government) take half, you might have to move back in with your mom. But if you got $30 million, and (a lawer, the government) take half, you still got $15 million.

The rich should pay their fair share.

-You believe the former Governor of a New England state with 608,827 people is more than adequately experienced to be President in 2004, but the Governor of a Southwestern state with 21,325,018 people was completely unprepared in 2000.

I think that "the former Governor of a New England state with 608,827 people" would probably be more in touch with the people than "the Governor of a Southwestern state with 21,325,018 people".

-You agree with Toni Morrison that President Clinton was "the first black President," but didn't criticize Al Sharpton for recently labeling President Bush a "gang leader."

ugh....this is just getting to exasperating. Someone else is going to have to finish for me. I feel dirty.

<--snip-->

[AnnabelLee]

10. pdx_prog

Per DU copyright rules, please do not post more than four paragraphs of copyrighted material, & include a link to the original source.

Thank you
AnnabelLee
DU Moderator

[TrueBlueDem]

11. Counterpoint: "To Be A Good Republican"

· You have to believe that AIDS is divine punishment for sinfulness, even when babies are born with it.

· You have to believe that people without scientific training are qualified to determine the content of biology texts.

· You have to believe that Bill Clinton's genitals are more of a threat than selling missiles to Iranian fundamentalists.

· You have to believe that federal subsidies weaken people, but strengthen business.
· You have to believe that global temperatures are affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate that occur in cycles exceeding 10,000 years, even though you don't believe that the earth is that old.

· You have to believe that while you could never be homosexual, other heterosexuals could easily be converted to homosexuality.

· You have to believe that state courts can't be trusted to punish businesses or examine ballots fairly, but you believe they can be trusted to administer the death penalty fairly.

· You have to believe that power wielded by business is in someway less oppressive than power wielded by any other source.

· You have to believe that environmentalists don't care about nature, but mining interests do.

· You have to believe that kids won't have sex if they're never taught about birth control.

· You have to believe that because they don't ask the president tough questions, the men who avoided service in the military are more patriotic than those men that served proudly but do ask tough questions.

· You have to believe that the ACLU is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the NRA is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

· You have to believe that inheritance doesn't breed the same type of slothfulness that other forms of entitlement do.

· You have to believe that communism was not a viable system while simultaneously believing that only the genius of Ronald Reagan was able to defeat it.

· You have to believe that all Americans compete on a level playing field.

· You have to believe that Ken Starr is really a gentleman.

· You have to believe that there is some magical quality about unregulated markets that cause businesses to operate in the public's best interests.

· You have to believe that democrats that lie about their sex lives deserve to be impeached while republicans that sell missiles to our enemies deserve to be on Mt. Rushmore.

· You have to believe that giving money is speech but burning a flag in protest isn't.

· You have to believe that not examining ballots is the best way to determine the outcome of an election.

·You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as your children aren’t praying to Allah or Buddha.

·You have to believe that you love Jesus Christ, and that Jesus Christ loves you, and that Jesus Christ shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals and President Clinton.

·You have to believe that socialism hasn't worked anywhere, and that Europe doesn't exist.

·You have to believe that biology teachers are corrupting the morals of sixth-graders when they teach them the basics of human sexuality, but the Holy Bible, which is filled with sex and violence, is good reading.

[arcane1]

12. classic!!

lol!!

:toast: