Let's forward this thing I just made: "You might be a Republican..."

[GOPBasher]

Okay, we've ALL seen the right wing email, have we not? They spread their propaganda around the internet like it's going out of style. The jerks probably pay people to sit around and write them. Anyway, here's mine, and I think we should ALL forward this to everyone we know. For once, we'll get a leftist's viewpoint around the web. What do you all think? Here it is:


1) If you think Bush’s tax cuts have nothing to do with the deficit, you might be a Republican.
2) If you think that lying about sex is awful, but it’s ok to lie about the reasons American boys and girls are DYING in war, then you might be a Republican.
3) If you think spending money to build schools in America is a waste, but you don’t mind spending money to build schools in Iraq, then you might be a Republican.
4) You might be a Republican if you think spending $40 billion a year for the Department of Education is too much, but throwing $87 billion to rebuild the country we just spent tens of billions of dollars bombing is ok.
5) You might be a Republican if you think it’s ok that Bush loves sending our troops into war, but then cuts veteran’s benefits.
6) You might be a Republican if you think raising the minimum wage to give more money to the working poor will cause inflation, but giving millions and millions of dollars to the super, super rich will not cause inflation.
7) You might be a Republican if you support the rights of a fetus, but if that fetus is born to a poor person, you don’t think he or she has the right to food and shelter.
8) If you call anyone to the left of George W. Bush a “communist,” you might be a Republican.
9) You might be a Republican if you call yourself a “patriotic American,” but yet you have confederate flags to honor the people who REBELLED AGAINST the USA.
10) You might be a Republican if you hate minorities.
11) If you think everyone who isn’t a Protestant Christian should be tortured to death, you might be a Republican.
12) If you think homosexuals should be tortured to death, just for being homosexuals, you might be a Republican.
13) If you agree with Jerry Falwell, who said that we deserved to be attacked on 9/11 because we have homosexuals in this country, you might be a Republican.
14) You might be a Republican if you think that liberals are a threat to humanity, but breathing dirty air, drinking dirty water, the polar ice caps melting and other ecological problems are not.

[Maddy McCall]

1. #2: American boys AND girls

Remember, at least one woman has died, too.

And, on edit, I LOVE this!!! :loveya:

[GOPBasher]

2. Good point. I'll edit.

My bad.

[Maddy McCall]

6. See my note I added on edit:

I think this is excellent, and I have already cutnpasted to forward on to my RW buddies. Great play on JEff Foxworthy, who most RWingers adore.

I am sorry I didn't make it clear in my earlier post, but you did a fabulous job compiling this. I can see it sweeping through email boxes all across america.

:loveya:

[otohara]

7. Aren't There 37,000

non-American's in Iraq also. Those who Republican's don't want to give citizenship to?

[karlschneider]

3. Actually, I believe either 5 or 6 have.

:-(

[bahrbearian]

8. I love your sitting bull quote.

[Maddy McCall]

15. Thanks...I like it too :-)

[Karenina]

11. If you think lying about sex

IS awful... Damn those typos, eh? Just fix it. GREAT STUFF!!!

[magnolia]

4. Good work!

I've cut and pasted...and it's ready to go!

[Lefty48197]

5. Good job

I'd change "might" to "must".

[Maddy McCall]

10. no...because he is spinning off of Foxworthy, and he wants to keep

the terminology identical so that people who love Foxworthy can identify with it.

I think it is a MARVELOUS play on words. Sure to fire up the RWingers across the US!

[JaneQPublic]

9. An e-mail I received: "To Be A Good Republican"

· You have to believe that AIDS is divine punishment for sinfulness, even when babies are born with it.

· You have to believe that people without scientific training are qualified to determine the content of biology texts.

· You have to believe that Bill Clinton's genitals are more of a threat than selling missiles to Iranian fundamentalists.

· You have to believe that federal subsidies weaken people, but strengthen business.

· You have to believe that global temperatures are affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate that occur in cycles exceeding 10,000 years, even though you don't believe that the earth is that old.

· You have to believe that while you could never be homosexual, other heterosexuals could easily be converted to homosexuality.

· You have to believe that state courts can't be trusted to punish businesses or examine ballots fairly, but you believe they can be trusted to administer the death penalty fairly.

· You have to believe that power wielded by business is in someway less oppressive than power wielded by any other source.

· You have to believe that environmentalists don't care about nature, but mining interests do.

· You have to believe that kids won't have sex if they're never taught about birth control.

· You have to believe that because they don't ask the president tough questions, the men who avoided service in the military are more patriotic than those men that served proudly but do ask tough questions.

· You have to believe that the ACLU is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the NRA is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

· You have to believe that inheritance doesn't breed the same type of slothfulness that other forms of entitlement do.

· You have to believe that communism was not a viable system while simultaneously believing that only the genius of Ronald Reagan was able to defeat it.

· You have to believe that all Americans compete on a level playing field.

· You have to believe that Ken Starr is really a gentleman.

· You have to believe that there is some magical quality about unregulated markets that cause businesses to operate in the public's best interests.

· You have to believe that democrats that lie about their sex lives deserve to be impeached while republicans that sell missiles to our enemies deserve to be on Mt. Rushmore.

· You have to believe that giving money is speech but burning a flag in protest isn't.

· You have to believe that not examining ballots is the best way to determine the outcome of an election.

·You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as your children aren’t praying to Allah or Buddha.

·You have to believe that you love Jesus Christ, and that Jesus Christ loves you, and that Jesus Christ shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals and President Clinton.

·You have to believe that socialism hasn't worked anywhere, and that Europe doesn't exist.

·You have to believe that biology teachers are corrupting the morals of sixth-graders when they teach them the basics of human sexuality, but the Holy Bible, which is filled with sex and violence, is good reading.

[Bozita]

17. That list really rings some bells.

Thanks, JaneQPublic.

[quaker bill]

18. Well said

And there is soooo much more.

[GOPBasher]

12. Thanks to all the responders!

:)

[oxycontinrush]

13. ...if you think Clinton's penis did it.

It doesn't matter what "it" is, Clinton's penis did it.

[nono]

14. Good

My DA repug son in law will get an email of it.

[GOPBasher]

16. kick