What is the Homosexual agenda?

[HEyHEY]

I always hear Freeper types talking about the "Homosexual agenda." I was not aware an agenda existed. If there is one, could someone please explain it for me.

[pandatimothy]

1. Maybe.....

to be treated as first class citizens like everyone else??

[Gman]

3. Gee... and that's supposed to be some evil thing?

I'll never understand being a Freeper.

[HEyHEY]

4. Okay..I figured it'd be along those lines

But they make it sound like there is a step by step programme in play with the end result to takeover the world.
Is there an "Official" agenda?

[Skittles]

39. LOL!!!

Like I've EVER been treated like a first class citizen. *cough* :O

[arcane1]

2. well, I could be mistaken, but...

I believe it has something to do with making all the children in the world gay, making witchcraft the official state religion, and make abortions mandatory for ALL pregnancies

I guess they'll have to legalize cloning, too

:eyes:

[quinnox]

7. lol

Exactly what I thought too.

[quinnox]

5. Well

Freepers would say that gays are interested in converting young boys to the lifestyle, and influencing kids so they back away from traditional religion, and so on. This is the mindset of a typical freeper.

[seamarq]

6. Here it is...The Homosexual Agenda!

I received this from a good friend...don't know the source.

The Homosexual Agenda
8:00 a.m. Wake up. Wonder where you are.

8:01 a.m. Realize you are lying on 100 percent cotton sheets of at least a 300 count, so don't panic; you're not slumming.


8:02 a.m. Realize you are actually in your own bed for a change. Wake stranger next to you and tell them you are late for work so won't be able to cook breakfast for them. Mutter "sorry" as you help him look for his far-flung underwear. You find out that you tore his boxers while ripping them off him last night, so you "loan" him a pair of boxer-briefs, but not the new ones because you never intend to see him again.


8:05 a.m. Tell the stranger, whose name eludes you, "It was fun. I'll give you a call," as you usher him out the door, avoiding his egregious morning-breath.


8:06 a.m. Crumple and dispose of the piece of paper with his telephone number on it when you get to the kitchen.


8:07 a.m. Make a high protein breakfast while watching the Today show. Wonder if the stories you've heard about Matt Lauer are true. Decide they must be.


8:30 a.m. Italian or domestic? Decide to go with three-button Italian and the only shirt that is clean.


8:45 a.m. Climb into red Z4 and try not to look too much like Barbie driving one of her accessories as you pull out of your underground parking. Revos or Armanis? Go with Revos.


9:35 a.m. Stroll into office.


9:36 a.m. Close door to office and call best friend and laugh about the guy who spent the night at your condo. Point out something annoying about best friend's boyfriend but quickly add "It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, just as long as you love him."


10:15 a.m. Leave office, telling your secretary you are "meeting with a client." Pretend not to notice her insubordinate roll of her eyes (or the cloying "poem" she has tacked to her cubicle wall).


10:30 a.m. Hair appointment for lowlights and cut. Purchase of Aveda anti-humectant pomade.


11:30 a.m. Run into personal trainer at gym. Pester him about getting you Human Growth Hormone. Spend 30 minutes talking to friends on your cell phone while using Hammer Strength machines, preparing a mental-matrix of which circuit parties everyone is going to and which are now passe.


12:00pm Tan. Schedule back-waxing in time for Saturday party where you know you will end up shirtless.


12:30 p.m. Pay trainer for anabolic steroids and schedule a workout. Shower, taking ten minutes to knot your tie while you check-out your best friend's boyfriend undress with the calculation of someone used to wearing a t-back and having dollars stuffed in their crotch.


1:00 p.m. Meet someone for whom you only know his waist, chest and penis size from AOL M4M chat for lunch at a hot, new restaurant. Because the maître d' recognizes you from a gay bar, you are whisked past the Christian heterosexual couples who have been waiting patiently for a table since 12:30.


2:30 p.m. "Dessert at your place." Find out, once again, people lie on AOL.


3:33 p.m. Assume complete control of the U.S., state, and local governments (in addition to other nations' governments); destroy all healthy Christian marriages; recruit all children grades Kindergarten through 12 into your amoral, filthy lifestyle; secure complete control of the media, starting with sitcoms; molest innocent children; give AIDS to as many people as you can; host a pornographic "art" exhibit at your local art museum; and turn people away from Jesus, causing them to burn forever in Hell.


4:10 p.m. Time permitting, bring about the general decline of Western Civilization and look like you are having way too much fun doing it.


4:30 p.m. Take a disco-nap to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest and being so terribly witty.


6:00 p.m. Open a fabulous new bottle of Malbec.


6:47 P.M. Bake Ketamine for weekend. Test recipe.

7:00 P.M. Go to Abercrombie & Fitch and announce in a loud voice, "Over!"

7:40 P.M. Stop looking at the photographic displays at Abercrombie & Fitch and go to a cool store to begin shopping.

8:30 p.m. Light dinner with catty homosexual friends at a restaurant you will be "over" by the time it gets its first review in the local paper.


10:30 p.m. Cocktails at a debauched gay bar, trying to avoid alcoholic queens who can't navigate a crowd with a lit cigarette in one hand and a Stoli in a cheap plastic cup in the other. Make audible remark about how "trashy" people who still think smoking is acceptable are.


12:00 a.m. "Nightcap at your place." Find out that people lie in bars, too.

[quaker bill]

11. LMAO

Good Post.

[HEyHEY]

13. Way homosexuals get alot done in a day!

[BiggJawn]

31. You forgot "4:15PM...Practice looking FABULOUS!"

Gawd, that sounds like so much more fun that the "Straight Agenda":

Get up.
Go to work.
Lose another little piece of your heart.
Go home.
Eat pre-packaged dinner.
Chat on DU.
Got to bed (alone)
Read for 1/2 an hour or so.
Lights out.
Repeat.

[NicoleM]

41. the source

is America's Best Christian, Betty Bowers.

[TennesseeWalker]

Homosexual Agenda
Thursday, November 15, 2003
San Francisco, CA

I. CALL TO ORDER

II. WELCOME VISITORS.

III. APPROVE MINUTES OF THE LAST MEETING.

IV. BUDGET APPROVAL.

V. DESTROY AMERICA BY DESTROYING TRADITIONAL MORALS.

VI. PLOT WORLDWIDE DOWNFALL OF CHRISTIANITY THROUGH THE NEW WORLD ORDER.

VII. INSTALL THE ANTICHRIST AS LEADER OF THE NWO.

VIII. PREPARE FOR THE COMING OF SATAN.

IX. OLD BUSINESS.

X. ADJOURNMENT

[TennesseeWalker]

8. Agenda.

Homosexual Agenda
Thursday, November 15, 2003
San Francisco, CA

I. CALL TO ORDER

II. WELCOME VISITORS.

III. APPROVE MINUTES OF THE LAST MEETING.

IV. BUDGET APPROVAL.

V. DESTROY AMERICA BY DESTROYING TRADITIONAL MORALS.

VI. PLOT WORLDWIDE DOWNFALL OF CHRISTIANITY THROUGH THE NEW WORLD ORDER.

VII. INSTALL THE ANTICHRIST AS LEADER OF THE NWO.

VIII. PREPARE FOR THE COMING OF SATAN.

IX. OLD BUSINESS.

X. ADJOURNMENT

[HEyHEY]

14. That was witty

I liked it!

[dolstein]

9. If I'm not mistaken

I believe the homosexual agenda, as the Freepers see it, involves corrupting the Republican youth of America and converting them into lecherous, promiscuous flaming queers.

[HEyHEY]

16. So everything freepers secrectly want to be

But don't have the balls to try!

[regnaD kciN]

32. Which, I'll admit...

...would be an improvement...

:evilgrin:

[Ivory_Tower]

10. There was a cartoon about this recently

The Homosexual Agenda consisted of:

Eat breakfast
Go to work
Go home
Eat dinner
Watch TV
Go to sleep

[Fight_n_back]

12. To wax your back!

and pay heteros back for the pain we have caused them.

[GOPBasher]

15. The "homosexual agenda" is the radical, fringe movement

to make homosexuals actually treated like human beings. They talk about radical left wing hippie crap, such as "civil rights."

[Northwind]

17. From Mark Fiore's web site:

[HEyHEY]

19. haha

[Terwilliger]

18. Yes, the homosexual agenda is to petrify the homophobes

and they're doing a FINE job :D

[HEyHEY]

20. You're telling me

I can't believe the shit that comes outta people's mouths. My Favourite is the redneck trying to sound tolerant "I don't just don't touch me or I'll break your neck"

[leesa]

21. I would guess their agenda is to live long, healthy and happy lives

[no name no slogan]

22. Overheard joke at bar--

guy #1: "My mother made me a homosexual."
guy #2: "If I gave her some yarn, would she make me one too?"

[Cat Atomic]

23. We just want to decorate your apartment.

That's all. Chill out, breeders.

:P

[Skittles]

40. SWEETIE PIE

NOT ALL OF US STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE BREEDERS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! :7

[John_Shadows_1]

24. To make all of life a broadway play...

... better know how to dance.

[FDRrocks]

25. To no be discriminated against, I would assume...

The rightwing seems to think they are after thier family and want to overthrow the government... god what a bunch of dumbass.

[mermaid]

26. I'll TELL You What The Homosexual Agenda Is!!

The Homosexual Agenda: To live our lives just like everyone else, without our sexual orientation being used as a factor (pro or con) in decisions that affect our lives. To be granted the same rights and human dignity the rest of our countrymen take for granted. Is THAT so much to ask?

[FDRrocks]

27. We need a second civil rights movement...

For the homosexuals in our society, imo.

edit: Actually, these times suggest we need a second civil rights movemtn for minorities. SCREW IT, we need to start working on a movement for civil rights of all of the oppressed.

[qwaszx]

29. Hopefully to go ...

Through a 12 step program!

[karlschneider]

43. Come to Snug Harbor, OK. I'll do 12 steps on your fucking head.

[TrogL]

28. here's yet another take on their version

expose as many kids as possible to homosexuality in the hopes it will "catch" so there will be lots of sexual partners later

rewrite school curriculula so homosexuality is the preferred sexual preference

make Christianity illegal

adopt Christian children to turn them into gays

[devilgrrl]

30. I always thought it was manditory Judy Garland Film Fests...

:silly:

[MinnFats]

33. Well, when WAS the Homosexual International Convention anyway?

I mean the one where all the g/l/b/t people AGREED on that agenda. I assume they brought it up for a vote, so they could march in lockstep on every issue that comes up.
whazzat? they disagree on some stuff?
must be a trick to deceive the faithful, like those fossils that Satan planted in the bedrock to turn people away from creation science.


'homosexual agenda,' indeed.

[OldSoldier]

38. It was last week. Didn't you get the memo?

And no, the fossils were placed there by God as a test of our faith.

Quick question: Why does God sometimes seem like Chico Marx? "Who you gonna believe--me or your own lying eyes?"

[Wapsie B]

34. You mean you don't know?

Why they've got to rip the fetuses right out of women's wombs, get jobs as teachers and scout leaders and convert our children to be a bunch of godless queers.

:evilgrin:

[OldSoldier]

35. The real Homosexual Agenda

1. Replace the Patriotic American Flag with the Gayo-American Flag. It will look exactly like the Patriotic American Flag except that it will be Rose, White and Aqua.

2. Turn all our Patriotic Children into Gayo-Americans.

3. Require all us Patriotic Americans to be Gayo-Americans too.

4. Once we've all been turned into Gayo-Americans, we'll be forced to leave our Patriotic Wives and marry other Gayo-Americans, we'll have to be Gayo-Wives, and we'll even have to kiss our new Gayo-Husbands. Worse: we'll have to have Gayo Sex with them!

5. We'll all have to use grooming products. Not good patriotic grooming products like Vitalis, now, but gayo grooming products like our patriotic wives use. They might even make us wear lipstick!

6. We'll all have to wear gayo teal clothing. No patriotic American would ever wear teal, well except for the patriotic Americans who play for the Carolina Panthers.

7. They're going to turn our patriotic Christian churches into gay bars. They'll even turn Catholic churches into gay bars, even though Catholics have proven they are un-American by believing in the saints and the Virgin Mary instead of the most patriotic of patriots, the Reverend Fred Phelps. But everyone knows all Catholics love gayo-Americans and secretly want to be them, so Catholics will fit right in.

8. Good patriotic music will be banned. Instead, we'll have to listen to gayo music like Barbra Streisand all the time, and Boy George and even Liza Minnelli. They won't even let us listen to that true patriot Elton John! No way he would ever support the gayo agenda!

9. They'll ban all the patriotic food too, and make everyone eat sushi three meals a day. Everyone knows all Japanese people are really gayo-Americans so sushi must be gayo food.

10. Fortunately, after the gayo-Americans get their whole agenda passed, God will create a huge crater, send all the gayo-Americans to hell and bring us right up to Heaven, where the first thing we'll do is burn our gayo clothes, wash off our gayo eyeliner and puke up our gayo food.

That's the gayo agenda in a nutshell. Make sure all your friends get this.

[OldSoldier]

36. Oh god...

Now some freeper's gonna copy that to FR and lucianne.com and they'll think it's real over there...

[radwriter0555]

37. Feather Boas for EVERYONE!

HUZZAH!

[noonwitch]

42. I always thought that the agenda was to live without harrassment

But some people want the special right to harrass gay people.

[Guaranteed]

44. World domination.

Of course! All agendas are just lead-ups to world domination.