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Republicans believe in personal responsibility, except when it applies to themselves or corporate CEOs they get campaign contributions from.
Republican believe in the "Rule of Law", unless the Rule of Law gets in their way.
Republican believe in limited Judicial Power ("Judicial Activism"), unless it is Judicial Activism for something they support.
Republicans believe in "States Rights", unless they have Federal Power to overrule something in a State they don't like.
Republicans believe in limited Presidential Executive Privilege, except when a Republican is the President.
Republicans believe in Privacy, except when it comes to a woman's body, sex between consenting adults, and what you read in a library.
Republicans believe that extramarital sex is bad, unless you are a Republican and get caught, then it is a youthful indiscretion.
Republicans believe the abortion should be banned, except for wealthy Republicans who can fly to a country that allows abortions to have one.
Republicans believe Homosexuals are OK, but homosexuals acts are bad.
Republicans believe that lying is bad, unless it is about going to War, the Budget, or what you are going to do as President.
Republicans believe lawsuits are bad, unless they need to file a lawsuit, especially in regards to vote counting.
Republicans believe in limited government spending, unless it is in their district, State, or for a big campaign contributor.
Republicans believe illegal immigration is bad, except for illegal immigrants who work in their industry for low wages and no benefits.
Republicans believe in supporting the military, except during their youth when they would have to serve.
Republicans believe in a balanced budget, except when they have to do the balancing.
Republicans believe in swift Senate Judicial confirmations, except when a Democrat is President.
Republicans believe criticism of the President is OK, unless the President is a Republican, then it's unpatriotic.
Republicans believe in separation of church and state, unless the church is fundamentalist Christian.
Republicans believe that it is technologically feasible to build a missile shield around the United States but not make an SUV that gets 30 MPG.
Republicans believe in phasing out social programs unless it's school vouchers, faith-based initiatives, and corporate handouts.
Republicans believe that government surveillance of private citizens is bad, unless you are a Democrat or Mid East ancestry
Republicans believe that Billionaire's are geniuses, except when they are against your Republican economic/tax policies - then they are fools.
Republicans believe in opposing preferential treatment in college admissions unless you're rich or a child of an alumnus.
Republicans believe drugs should be illegal unless it's nicotine, alcohol, or prescription drugs from your pharmaceutical contributors
Republicans believe in free trade unless other countries benefit from it.
Republicans believe in fighting terrorism unless it limits a person's ability to buy assault rifles.
Republicans believe the tax code shouldn't pick "winners and losers" unless you a "rich" winner.
Republicans believe Presidents don't have any impact on the economy - unless they can somehow attribute a good economy to a Republican President
Republicans believe "Nation Building" is bad, unless they do it.
Republicans believe in Trickle Down Economics, even though there is no proof it works.
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