Are you HIV prejudiced?

[oxymoron]

http://www.areyouhivprejudiced.org/

[mikehiggins]

1. No n/t

[bicentennial_baby]

2. Nope

But thanks for the link!

[ShaneGR]

3. No, but I'm not sleeping with someone with HIV

So I guess I am.. hmmmm

[oxymoron]

19. How do you know? (nt)

<on edit>

...unless of course your celibate.

[quinnox]

4. Web sites that use dirty tricks

like not allowing you to close them are so annoying.

[oxymoron]

12. yeah, let's get petty.

sheesh.

[Deja Q]

17. Agreed

They were making a statement and they could have been far more extreme in presenting it (perhaps they should have as it is meant to make people aware of how such constant behavior against a person feels like.)

[Fescue4u]

32. Petty?

God I hate sites that play those kinda games..Usually those are limited to porn sites, scam sites and other less than legitimate places.

A legitimate site should play such games.

[Deja Q]

5. I am

But only to a point. It's a terrible disease and those who have it suffer. I hope a cure is found, though there's no profit in a cure. (so there are plenty who are far more prejudiced than me.)

But PART of it is behavioral. Not behavioral as being homosexual, only dumbfucks like Reagan and other repukes would believe that. Behavioral as slutting it up with many people anonymously, without protection and not being safe - that goes for anybody of any sexual orientation.

Until a cure is found (and it won't, continuing treatment of symptoms - the typical "western medicine" approach :eyes: ), the only way to combat this is through responsible behavior: Safe sex, abstinance, FIDELITY, MONOGAMY... It has to be fought on many levels, not just one or two. (therefore Bush*'s tactic of abstinance-only is stupid, so is "safe-sex only".) Even then, how many people would be safe or monogamous upon learning of the disease?

I consider myself lucky I don't get responses in my personal ad and that I'm avoided in bars and other hangouts. (That's prejudice against me, you see...)

(on edit: No, I don't have HIV and I refuse to be with anybody who is HIV. And you can bet your sweet bippy that many people with HIV are going to lie about it - cheers to those honest enough to disclose their status, there are plenty of people who are willing and know what is and is not safe.)

[oxymoron]

6. *kick*

[Deja Q]

7. I probably deserved that

:D Being pathetic has its advantages...

[oxymoron]

9. my brother contracted this virus before it had a name.

His partner died in '84. He has been effectively celibate since. I think you are buying into some truly sick stereotypes. Are you telling me that the 45 million people infected worldwide should have known better?

<edit for spelling>

[Deja Q]

13. STDs have always existed

If anyone gets the blame, it's the people who don't teach all alternatives to our young, whether it be parents or teachers. When I had sex ed (5th grade, about 20 years ago) they only told us of what the pieces do and which piece goes where. They even explained homosexual sex, albeit limited to one postion that only gay males engage in... They never explained STDs or how to prevent them. On the plus side, we all got to treat a raw egg as if it were a human baby for 2 weeks... :eyes: If that's how sex ed is taught these days, then I've got a HUGE issue against the schools. And probably a bigger one towards private schools who do the abstinance-only routine. It's not just how the things work and how to keep an egg from cracking, it's also telling them of ALL things connected with sexuality and how to prevent diseases.

But a STD is a STD, period. New STDs are eventually going to appear as well. The only way to stay clean is via monogamy with an uninfected person or celibacy. That will never change. It's a tragedy that STDs now kill, but it's only going to get worse. If not in the form of drug-resistent strains of current diseases, but in the form of NEW dieases entirely.

I would find it very shocking that, in 2003, many people DO know about HIV (and other diseases) yet the infection rates have been going back up, particularly in the gay male community. THEY should have known better, that I do say in all earnestness. Myself included. As for 1983, I dare not make a judgment. That would be crass... People usually don't think these things will get to them anyway. I think that's still true of today, even with education. It would be wrong to be against people, regardless...

And the risk of getting HIV from blood transfusions used to be a big factor as well. Today it's greatly reduced, though given how hospitals screw everything else up, it's still a possibility.

But if I were to get HIV via sexual contact, I'd be in the same boat for not doing the appropriate thing (completely safe sex or monogamy and being honest upfront with anybody who I'd choose to be with, on the silly assumption they'd want me...).

Most importantly: My condolances to your loss. I too know people who have AIDS and others who died from it. It is VERY tragic and unfortunate, painful, and humiliating, don't get me wrong on that. There are plenty of people who don't get the education and as I said, many people will think it can never happen to them. (such a comment has been used by people in all sorts of circumstances, so it must be human nature to think they'll always be immune.) There are people who are depressed or mentally ill in other ways and no longer care. Just because I'm strict with my personal standards and beliefs doesn't mean I'm not sympathetic or closed-minded towards people who have the disease. (though the only thing I wouldn't do is sleep with an infected person, sorry.) People do make mistakes. But one that kills them is a too high price to pay. And if prejudice didn't exist, people would be more honest upfront about their status (but I will never have sympathy for those who have the disease and wilfully spread it to others. They're as much murderers as George W Bush is.)

Maybe I am buying into some ugly stereotypes. I dunno. Maybe it is best people don't like me.

[oxymoron]

18. Monogamy is not an effective way to avoid transmission.

Are you telling me that the people that are infected are not monogamous? I am sure there are a lot of women with AIDS that will disagree. Monogamy is no guarantee, and I think it is judgmental and short sighted to think that it is an effective defense against the virus.

[Silverhair]

23. Mutual monogomy IS an effective defense against ALL STDs n/t

[oxymoron]

25. In a perfect world, would I agree. The problem is...

how do you know for sure that it is indeed mutual. Is your life worth the risk?

[Silverhair]

26. You expect me to use condoms with my wife? That kind of distrust

would be a deadly poison to a marriage. And Yes, I DO TRUST MY WIFE WITH MY LIFE. Completely and totally, with no ifs, buts, or reservations. I am sorry if you are not able to trust your spouse so completely.

[Cronus Protagonist]

28. If your wife caught venerial disease

From a momentary lapse of reason, let's say, you can't count on even the most loving spouse to tell you about it. Human nature being what it is, she, or he as the case may be, might hold off telling you until she's certain, or until you get whatever it is she has.

She could be afraid to tell you. And afraid to stop having sex with you because that would give her away before she's ready. It happens all the time, and I mean all the time. Every day thousands of married people in "monogamous" relationships have sex with other people without their spouse's knowledge.

If you're confident that you're not one of the people being lied to, I list you among the ones that tend to get the biggest surprises when their spouse finally has to come clean due to a life threatening illness like HIV.

Monogamy is as effective at preventing STDs as withdrawal is in preventing pregnancy. If you like these odds, that's your choice, but it's hardly prevention or anywhere close to 100% safe.

Sorry if this news is not comfortable for you, but I'm a trained HIV educator and I do know a lot about this topic. I'm also HIV negative and I will stay that way because I do not expect my loved ones to be superhuman or ideal.

LICK BUSH Buttons, Stickers & Magnets

[Silverhair]

30. Then I feel sorry for you if you have that level of distrust in your

life. By your display of distrust in such a vital area of your shared life, you may well drive your spouse away to someone who does trust her/him. Yes, I trust her with my life, and she trusts me with hers. And knowing that kind of trusting love is completely worth risking my life. If feel sad for you, to be always suspicious, never able to trust. It must be very lonely not to know total sharing.

[Cronus Protagonist]

33. I thought that silver hair went along with maturity

Obviously I was wrong.

LICK BUSH Buttons, Stickers & Magnets

[Muddleoftheroad]

37. Maturity?

You call trusting your spouse a lack of maturity? You need a new dictionary.

Many in America trust their spouses with their lives. Yes, many marriages end in divorce. That does not mean they end as a result of cheating.

[Liberal Veteran]

34. Let's talk about trust for a minute....

Trust can be easily and irrevocably misplaced.

In 1985, I was a young and fell in love with someone who I dated for about 5 months before we moved in together. I could blame it on trust and I could blame it on love, but the signs were there that the person I was with was screwing around on me behind my back. Chalk it up to naivete and gullibility and faith in love and relationships or just plain stupidity. He was the first person I had ever loved and oddly enough the first person I ever had sex with.

I finally had the classic "came home early" surprise and caught him with another person. At that point I broke it off. I couldn't handle that kind of betrayal.

About one week after that, I got tested for HIV and they came back negative. I thanked God and went on about my life. We didn't know as much about seroconversion and the periods between exposure and antibody detection could be up to 6 months.

About 3 or 4 weeks after leaving him I got a nasty little illness that I now know were the classic symptoms of HIV seroconversion illness.

I have never been a person who slept around. I have had 5 partners in my life. 4 of them are negative and the one I left, that first person I loved and trusted died in 1990 of AIDS.

I figured I had gotten lucky and practiced safe sex from their on out and I never really gave much thought to any of this until 1999. I met a nice man in 1990, we moved to another state and we have been together ever since.

It started with the flu. 2 weeks later I still couldn't shake it off and I went to an urgent care clinic and he said it was just an upper respiratory infection and gave me some anti-biotics and said I would would be okay in a few days. A week later my chest hurt so bad when I coughed and I could barely stay awake during meetings at work I decided it was time for a second opinion. When I got to see the doctor he did a chest x-ray and diagnosed me with pneumonia and showed me a mirror of the inside of my mouth which was coated with candida (oral thrush) and asked me when the last time I had been tested for HIV.

I went to a clinic and got tested again. This time I found out I was HIV positive. The very kind lady at the clinic made a call for me and later that day I spoke the best HIV doctor in town who scheduled me for a round of tests to assess my status.

In the meantime, I did some backtracking and research and realized that my boyfriend's cheating on me did leave me with an unpleasant souvenier. And of course I had to inform my previous partners because it was the right thing to do.

At this point, my life was in a bit of a turmoil. I had lost 30 pounds in my bout with pneumonia and I found I had HIV and a bad case of thrush which was cleared up with some anti-fungals and a whole lot of antibiotics.

When I went to see my new doctor, I got the proverbial good news/bad news. I tested negative for all for tb, hepatitis, toxoplasmosis and was otherwise healthy. On the hand I had a viral load of 250000+ and 22 tcells.

For those who don't know what that means, it's a diagnosis of full-blown AIDS (or as we call it today, Advanced HIV disease).

Now I am pretty lucky. I have been on a cocktail of combivir/sustiva and prophylaxis for almost 4 years now. My viral load is undetectable and I haven't been sick to speak of. My t-cells are hovering in the range of about 250 which is only true because I subjected myself to a regimen of interleukin-2 which is a chemotherapeutic agent that also stimulates t-cell growth, but also makes you feel like shit for about a week and you have to learn how to give yourself shots and costs about 5000 dollars per series of one course every 8 weeks (which fortunately my insurance covered for awhile).

So I am lucky. I am fairly healthy at this point even though I have AIDS and have had it since 1985, I was lucky enough to be asymptomatic until this horrible illness can be treated.

But back to trust. My trust....my faith...has changed my life. I think about this every single day of my life. My meds don't give me a break. They hurt my stomach, but not too badly, but I haven't know what it's like to just turn off the alarm clock for 1 day since I started taking these drugs. Every 12 hours I am reminded that I made a possibly fatal mistake in placing my trust in someone.

Just something to think about.

[Silverhair]

40. I know very little about the dynamics of homosexual relationships.

I cannot speak intelligently to that situation. In the context I thought I had made it clear that I am a straight, and the thread included both gay and straight STD transmission.

I have known and trusted this wonderful woman who has given me her love and trust for over 50 years. If, at this point, I wanted to start using a condom because I no longer trusted her, she would be horrible hurt. No way in hell will I do anything in the slightest that would hurt her. In these many years she has absolutely earned my trust. A life lived in that kind of mistrust is not a life worth living.

Marriage is a committment to completely combine two lives. If I refused to trust her at that most intimate level, (Absent any suspicious evidence)then I would be saying that my life was apart from hers. Our lives are together. When one of us passes, the other will not long survive. We have instructed the children, that when the last passes, combine the ashes and scatter them in our rose garden.

I don't think you understand what it means to be totally and completely committed to someone else, and to receive that kind of commitment in return.

[Devlzown]

8. HIV isn't just for the slutty.

While I agree that there are a lot of people out there who don't take the precautions they should, people who get HIV aren't necessarily living a debauched lifestyle. The lover of a good friend of mine died after they had been together for 7 years. They think that he contracted the virus before they got together (my friend is negative) and the virus was domant in his system for all those years. And while this guy did sleep around on occasion when he was younger (what young man doesn't?), he wasn't a big nasty perv or anything.

[Deja Q]

10. Quite right

I was speaking glibly and hoping others would expound on the issue (thanks!)

But some young men don't "sleep around". Like a co-worker of mine...

And in all honesty, it shouldn't matter how a person gets it; they shouldn't be so badly treated. They'd be far less likely to lie about it. (so I'm hopefully not as prejudiced as I thought... it depends on your point of view.)

And the drug issue, but that's another issue. Sex, typically gay male sex, is still the largest contributing factor.

[oxymoron]

11. Gay male sex is not the leading form of transmission worldwide.

In third world countries, this is a hetero disease.

[Deja Q]

14. I stand corrected

Thanks.

I wish our government would do more than do the 'abstinance only' lecture... that's just a part of it. Total education is the key and even then, human nature won't completely prevent its spread. I will hope people won't make a bad choice, but I will not hate them if they do.

[Silverhair]

27. Almost entirely in Africa. But they have some cultural sexual

practices that facilitate the spread of AIDS. They have a lot of power wrapped up in sex so that it comes closer to resembling rape than the shared act of love. The men live "dry" sex, which causes bleeding in the woman, and so AIDS is able to spead quite easily. In the U.S. AIDS, despite all the hoopla is pretty much in the same high risk groups that it was in 20 years ago. It just hasn't broken out into the hetro community.

AIDS can only be conquered if it is looked at scientificly, not politicaly.

[Silverhair]

31. I forgot about the needle problem they have.

Lots of needles get reused by clinics, which also spreads AIDS.

[tkmorris]

16. Ya know what?

Something troubled me about your post and it took me a sec to realize what it was. I figured it out though.

You are imposing your own moral value system on others. You have a problem with people having what you view as too many sexual partners. You even use a derogatory term to describe their behavior, "slutting around".

That's why I didn't see it right away. I don't "slut around" as you put it, nor have I ever. That's ME though, it doesn't mean that those who do are somehow inferior to me. Or to you. You seem to have some kind of moral issue with it however, and imply that those with such lower moral standards are somehow asking for it. I have to part ways with you at that juncture. My feeling is that what people do is their own business as long as it does not bring harm to others.

Of course knowing what we know now about HIV means that unprotected sex with multiple partners is dangerous behavior, to yourself and to those you have sex with. That does not however make such behavior morally wrong, just irresponsible. I remind you too that many of those with HIV caught it before we really knew any of this.

[Devlzown]

21. HT didn't say anything about "slutting around"

in his post. I facetiously used the word "slutty" in my post. He was quoting me when he said "sleep around," which doesn't sound quite so gritty. Did he sound a little smug in that post? Sure, but I don't think he's imposing anything on anyone else. He was just telling us where he was coming from and there's no harm in that.

[tkmorris]

35. didnt say there was harm in it

and he DID use the phrase "slutting it up". Sorry but using the term "slut" in any form to describe behavior implies a bias against said behavior. The further implication is that the behavior he found morally reprehensible led to the disease thus implying some sort of justice served.

I don't agree with that. I think it is merely a cosmic accident that this disease affects more often those who "slut around" as opposed to say, those who eat fish a lot. Or those who drink tea. Or any other sort of behavior that while I might not partake of myself is nonetheless, morally speaking, just a behavior. Neither better nor worse than mine own.

[Muddleoftheroad]

39. STDs

Look, lots of people get infected with STDs through no fault of their own and that is horrible. And many who infect them, through bad luck or irresponsibility, don't know that they are themselves infected with STDs.

However, it is a fact that limiting your sexual partners limits your chance of getting diseases.

If each person has had sex with five people, when you have sex with one, you risk that they picked up a disease from the hypothetical five. If you have sex with five, your total risk is up to 25 people and so on.

When it isn't HIV, it's VD, HPV or something else. Not all of these diseases are prevented even with the use of a condom (genital warts shows this). Now for many of us, not having many multiple partners IS a moral choice. But even if it is not a moral choice, it sure as hell is a smart choice.

[roughsatori]

20. AIDS is the #1 cause of death among African-American Women between 25-34

Yes the #1 cause of death among Black American females in that age range--the media however rarely reports that fact.

Here is a link: http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/pubs/Facts/afam.htm

As to your comment regarding sluttiness. I once counseled a man who was a virgin. During the time he was a client he had sex for the first and last time when he was 38 years old. Five years later he was dead of AIDS. Yes he did have unprotected sex--but I hardly would consider him to have been a "slut."

[Silverhair]

29. The article that you link says that the main agent of HIV infection

is needle sharing for IV drug use.

[roughsatori]

15. No, I've dated people who were HIV positive and my best friend is HIV

positive. I was deeply in love with a man who died of AIDS. I am negative and have never had any kind of sexually transmitted disease.

I did not click on your link. I already know that I am not at all prejudiced against HIV positive individuals.

[Skittles]

22. nope, have friends and a cousin with HIV

people can be themselves around me

[FDRrocks]

24. Not at all....

but if you got it... i must politely abstain from copulation!

[Nihil]

36. Slightly

I try not to be prejudiced with regard to the unfortunate victims
but I resent the imbalanced focus granted to AIDS to the detriment
of other medical research.

I will admit bias as my brother died of Multiple Sclerosis (MS).
This is a disease that is grossly underfunded (in the UK at least),
especially when the numbers affected by both diseases is taken into
account.

So yes, I am less supportive of the various AIDS programmes - not due
to judging the lifestyles of my peers (it's your life, live it as you wish)
but through the hijacking of public awareness in the 80's (when
vast amounts of money were poured down the high profile AIDS "research"
drains).

Nihil

[maddezmom]

38. nope

[Muddleoftheroad]

41. I don't want this thread to die

So here is a fair assessment. I daresay almost 100% of us are HIV prejudiced when put in the right situation. Nearly all at least would not date and HIV-infected person. Most would not share food, drink or even kiss a person in that situation. I bet the majority -- even here at DU -- would be uncomfortable working with anyone who has HIV.

Does that make all of us bad? No. Is it horrible for those with this rotten disease? Yes.

But until we have a cure, it IS still a disease. Yes, you can get it through sex, through needles, through transfusions. But knowing that is not a whole hell of a lot and most people would rather be safe than sorry.