You might be GOP material if ... (one from the good Dr.)

[hedgetrimmer]

You think being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

You think the United States should get out of the United Nations, but that our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

You think the government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money, but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

You claim "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

You think a woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

You think Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

You claim the best way to improve military morale is to dare the enemy to kill your troops in speeches, but sponsor legislation slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

You think group sex and drug use are degenerate sins, unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

You believe that if condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

You think the best way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

You believe HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the either their clients or public at heart.

You support providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but think providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

You believe global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but demand 'intelligent design' should be taught in schools.

You believe Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

You think a president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but can maintain that a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is morally defenisble policy.

You think the government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, but include among those the banning of gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

You believe the public has a right to know about Hilary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

You think what Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

You oppose trade with Cuba because the country is communist, but support trade with China and Vietnam as vital to a spirit of international harmony...


..... thank you dr.j ... and in his words "The Older I Get, The Better I Usta Be..."

[silverweb]

1. I don't know who Dr. J is...

... but the original of that list appeared in this article by Cory Farley:

http://www.rgj.com/news/stories/html/2003/11/21/57365.php

[hedgetrimmer]

2. thank you for the source...

dr j is just some guy who emails me quips about the gop... i got his letters from du... he does not post here anymore..