BREAKING: MSCD-SOS endorses the Auraria Campus Republicans

[angka]

<snip>

"We see the ACR's recent action as part of a larger continuum of power grabs undertaken by the esteemed Grand Only Party since November of 2000. We feel proud to include Ms. Woodson's name in a long list of similarly deposed traitors: Al Gore, Max Cleland, Paul Wellstone (who is dead, you know), Gray Davis, and many others. We take great comfort from the realization that she will not be the last—there are so many traitors that it's impossible to list them all, although we are working diligently at it."

</snip>

more...

[ShaneGR]

1. I'm not quite sure what that is

Looks weird and bizarre.

[angka]

2. then i would encourage you to read it again,

while keeping in mind the notion of 'satire.'

[ShaneGR]

4. The only problem, it's not really funny

Must be an inside joke. I'm glad it's satire though.

[curse10]

3. I'm an alum of MSCD

what the fuck is going on?

[angka]

5. well it's never as funny after you have to explain it.

but since funny was never what i was aiming at, and as the peanut gallery so astutely pointed out that it's not anyway, here goes:

in the spring of this year, felicia woodson was elected to the position of Metro's SGA president, replacing the somewhat more radical Brotha Seku, himself deposed after allegedly behaving an in intimidating manner during student government meetings. woodson was not nearly so imposing a figure, and i can tell you from personal experience that she is actually very pleasant to deal with.

it has to be pointed out that despite what these auraria campus republicans are saying now, they never really had a problem with woodson until...

david horowitz comes to town.

in september 30th, he showed up, ready to convince us all that as an unapologetic right-wing blowhard, his plan for "intellectual plurality" and "academic impartiality" was something other than, as RMN columnist Greg Littwin put it, "storming the last ivory tower" of liberalism. it makes the barest possible sense: you own the federal, state and every local government except for denver, boulder, and aspen, why not get the schools, too, and win their little hearts and minds? enter horowitz and the "academic bill of rights."

such events rarely occur in a vacuum, and it seems that at the same time, state senator john andrews is gearing up for the nascent Academic Bill of Rights (now capitalized because it's legislation). Horowitz met with him, and with eminent GOP-bootlicker and governor bill owens. the GOP owns the state government in colorado, and up until today (below), they pretty much thought they could get away with anything.

So on the day he shows up, there's this rally outside the hall where he's speaking. lots of people gave varyingly eloquent speeches in this roughly thirty minutes of rally. felicia woodson was one of them, and despite some nervousness (and a couple of unfortunately misplaced remarks), she carried it off pretty well. certainly the position of SGA president shouldn't be the equivalent of a gag order on personal opinions?

well the rally was thirty minutes, but horowitz went off about the rally for much longer. it really seemed to have pissed him off. it was still pissing him off when he got back to california, prompting more ranting on his website. a little later, it became clear that it also pissed off an obscure organization called the auraria campus republicans, who proceeded to, with the support of like-minded SGA board members, engineer the removal of felicia woodson from office, citing 'misrepresentation' of the SGA by voicing her opinion at the horowitz rally.

apparently not content with that, they are now seeking to cut off her leave pay while she appeals her removal!

in it's way, this sorry spectacle is a microcosm of the unprecendented GOP power grab sweeping the nation today. they are ruthless and they like to fuck with people who oppose them.

but things are afoot: today's colorado supreme court decision declaring our recent bullshit gerrymandering unconstitutional should at least give these fascisti a little pause. and there's something else out there, something potentially really huge that i just heard about. governor owens knows what i'm talking about...

in the meantime, i have a fun new target, full of bluebloods and jesushotties: the motherfucking auraria campus republicans. stay tuned.

[angka]

6. a bump for the peanut gallery

have a good day at screwel.

[bearfartinthewoods]

7. you should add 'satire' to your title before it get's locked

for being inaccurate.

[angka]

8. what the heck is wrong with DU today?

don't take offense, but i don't think i've ever seen such a humorless set of non-responses. it's kind of silly, though in a depressingly small-time way.

somewhere out there there has to be a venue that will appreciate a little tongue-in-cheek. or perhaps i just assumed that a few more people would know what i was talking about. or whatever.

oh, i know what i have to do. i need to somehow get the words 'fuck wesley clark' into this. that'll get some replies. or maybe get the thread locked, which is also fine. :eyes: