Two Sundays ago, when I had some down time, I was on the internet spending time perusing the Democratic Underground forum. I was busily reading with amusement the commentaries to a post regarding the fact that most, if not all, of the neo-conservative supporters of Bush’s War Of Terror were “chicken hawks”.
The poster had offered two lines from a Jackson Browne song called “Lives In The Balance”:
They can be counted on to tell us who our enemies are
But they're never the ones to fight or to dieI was impressed, but didn’t think much else of it. I’m not an obsessive music fan and I had remembered Browne from the 80’s. Songs like “Running On Empty” and “Lawyers In Love” came to mind. But I hadn’t followed his career that closely and hadn’t been aware that he wrote anti-war songs.
The next day was a Monday and I went off to work as usual. I noticed while driving into the yard that my Freightliner had been washed. I always like starting off the week with a clean truck, even if a Canadian Winter soon tarnishes the effect. After climbing into the cab of my Freightliner and, after stowing away my lunchbox and overnight bag, I noticed a cassette sticking out of the tape player.
I know. You’re way ahead of me. But I hadn’t made that leap yet. At the time I automatically assumed that either the guy who washes the trucks on weekends, or another company driver who had used my truck for a quick trip, had left a country music tape behind. Shivering slightly, I turned on the radio and quickly forgot about the tape.
That night, returning from Brandon in the wee hours of the AM, I lost reception on the radio and decided “What the Hell?” and pushed in the cassette. I heard silence, then the high-pitched Dolby bleep indicating the start of the first song on a side. I vaguely wondered which side.
Immediately, I recognized the style of Jackson Browne. The cab of my truck was filled with the sounds of a searing guitar, a tremulous synthesizer, and a hot sounding sax all soaring to a hard rocking drumbeat. I flashed back to when I read that post on DU, and thought that there was no way this would be the tape that held those lyrics I read the day before.
I thought to hit the eject button and read the information on the cassette, but then the lyrics to the first song (which I later would find out was titled “For America”) I had luckily cued up started:
As if I really didn't understand/That I was just another part of their plan
I went off looking for the promise/Believing in the MotherlandI listened intently. This was good. It’s hard to explain how my senses responded as I heard the start of this anthem. It was like the first time you shocked yourself after rubbing your socks on the carpet.
And from the comfort of a dreamer's bed/And the safety of my own head
I went on speaking of the future/While other people fought and bledHe must be old enough to have been of the Vietnam War generation, I thought. The song continued in that vein. A subtle rage below the music, with the synthesizer pulsing wildly, almost out of control. Drawing parallels to American foreign policy, with a manic madness associated with the method. A few lines later, the chorus kicks in.
I have prayed for America/I was made for America
It's in my blood and in my bones
By the dawn's early light/By all I know is right
We're going to reap what we have sownI bolted upright in my chair, I blinked hard, when was this song written? I was hypnotized by the music, and continued to listen, mentally noting to see if there was a year stamped on the cassette.
As if freedom was a question of might/As if loyalty was black and white
You hear people say it all the time-/"My country wrong or right"
I want to know what that's got to do/With what it takes to find out what's true
With everyone from the President on down/Trying to keep it from youHoly crap! Is he talking about 9-11 and the ensuing backlash of patriotic correctness?
Somewhere, deep in the recesses of my logic center, I knew this was an old song. I told myself that I would have surely heard something if it had been a recent release. The right wing media would have had a field day.
It took until I’d listened right through to the next side for me to pop the tape. Finally, and only after I’d heard the lyrics I’d seen written the day before sung by Browne himself, I found out the album’s title and the year it was released , “Lives In The Balance”, 1986.
1986. Reagan-Bush. Nicaragua, El Salvador, the Honduras. Right wing death squads, human rights violations, nuns being raped and killed, the rights of nations to self determination ignored, Iran/Contra, the CIA aiding the spread of the crack epidemic to fund illegal arms sales and at the same time attempting to criminalize a whole generation of young black men. Evil times, then.
Those earlier lyrics from “For America” came back to me:
By the dawn's early light/By all I know is right
We're going to reap what we have sownIn 1986, the American Government was covertly aiding Saddam Hussein’s regime in Baghdad as Iraq fought Iran in a murderous 8 year War that would claim the lives of millions. Along with other countries, and the international arms dealers, they sold weapons to both sides. At the same time, the CIA was aiding the Afghani mujahadeen in their armed resistance to the Soviet invasion. Eventually, after the Soviet Army had tasted their own Vietnam, these awesome mountain guerillas would engender the Taliban. And Al Qaeda. 1986. Only years away from Hussein’s blunder into Kuwait.
Indeed. As ye reap, so shall ye sow.
The title song, “Lives In The Balance”, is a powerful plea for his listeners to see what was really going on behind the scenes then. The song, in fact the entire album, could have been written today, and still have the same meaning.
I’ve linked to a site you can read the lyrics yourself.
http://www.empirezine.com/spotlight/jackson/livesbal.htmOf course, I encourage you to buy the album - as I’m sure it would be out in CD form by now.
Perhaps it was the synchronicity of finding this cassette in my truck the day after reading that post. Or maybe it was the fact that, somehow, I’d missed this album all these years.
Whatever it was, it was an experience that moved me and made me more determined than ever to stay on this path of dissent I’ve chosen. It may be a narrow path, and few people have the temerity or will to join you on your way. But I can look at myself in the mirror every morning knowing that my humanity is intact.
I’ve adopted Browne’s reggae-spiced song “Til I Go Down”, the second last song on the second side, as a personal anthem. The spirited defiance of this original offering is inspiring, as the lyrics relate what it means to finally say “Enough! Here I make my stand!”
I'm not gonna shut my eyes/I've already seen the lies
On the faces of the men of war/Leading people to the killing floor
Till I go down
--
I'm not gonna shut my mouth/I'm for the truth to come out
About the leader with the iron will/And his allegiance to the dollar bill
Till I go downDriving beneath a star-filled sky on a lonely highway in Manitoba, I thoroughly enjoyed the sentiment and laughed wildly at the lyrics. You bet, Jackson! Take it to the man!
My mood was about to change rapidly, however. For the last song was the haunting “Black and White”. I’m assuming that this song is addressed not only to others, but to himself as well. It seems to be an attempt to come to terms with growing jaded. How idealism is quickly thwarted when your belief system is challenged with the awful reality of life. I don’t think Browne is speaking down to his audience. Rather, there is an understanding of how easy it is to be resigned to the fact that there are forces one can’t control. But it also seems to be an attempt to keep the wary atmosphere and edginess of the album alive after the triumphant “Til I Go Down”. I believe that with this song, he wants to reaffirm his message of urgency.
Browne’s writing in “Black and White” is a little chilling, if you’re a listener who paid attention to the subject matter. You see, Browne sounds a warning way back in the first song “For America” with these lyrics:
I have prayed for America/I was made for America
Her shining dream plays in my mind/By the rockets red glare
A generation's blank stare/We better wake her up this timeAfter this warning, Browne ends the song with the following plaintive hope:
I have prayed for America/I was made for America
I can't let go till she comes around/Until the land of the free
Is awake and can see/And until her conscience has been foundAfter indulging himself with these sentiments, I suppose he wanted to redirect his point to the listener in the final song. "Black and White" ends with a beautiful fade out, the singers in perfect harmony as the music is minimized.
Time running out time running out
Time running out time running out
Yeah, beyond a shadow of a doubt
Time running out time running outEighteen years ago, time was running out. Today, the horror of what has been perpetrated to further the aims of the death merchants Browne warned us of has become all too apparent. I want to believe that there is still time to reverse that horror.
Or has time already passed us by?
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