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Edited on Fri Dec-26-03 08:45 PM by Marianne
maturity, find their own truth.
I, or any parent, will not be around forever to save them or to help them according to our own interpretation of what they need to be "helped" amd to survive. NOT
It is exceedingly anxiety ridden and agonizing to allow one's children to go off and find their own path. Heavens--we know their faults and we want so bad to take over and protect them, even if they are thirty or forty years old!
It does not work that way and we can mourn that. But real parental love will suffer that and allow the child to develop on it's own after it reaches maturity.
Fortunately, my children seemed to be born between the cracks so I have not had to suffer the anxiety of them going off to fight a war and be exposed to danger or possible loss of life. They are of that unique age. For that I am grateful.
I do have a nephew that went to West Point, and that is probably the most vulnerable of all my relatives. He is a helicopter pilot but so far has not been assigned to duty in Iraq, but is fortunate enough to be invovled with recruitment, instead of active war duty. He has just become a new dad also.
We must let out children go, once they are grown.
We cannot continue to defend them ad infinitum, and insult their wonderful intelligence and their individuality by attemting, as if they were five year old little ones, to run their lives after they have achieved adulthood and to take a stand in their defense whenever they are being attacked in one form or another.
We insult our own children by attempting to do this.
They are, after all, perfectly capable of running their own lives without us, are they not? Did we not grow them up to be so? and we need to support that in love by not interfering, because we, their parents, are not in the same slot or the same generation and we, as much as we think we are so very wise, do not have the knowledge to do so after a certain point.
Painful as it may be for some, that is just another one of those "pangs" that parents are wont to suffer, but, the wise parent will allow their children to go on without them or be dependant upon their input.
It is not applicable or practical after a certain amount of time, and can even be detrimental to the grown child, who has grown up and is approcaching his thirty some years to have a parent still defend them or treat them as if they were little children unable to defend themself.
Not wise or recommended to still be that "parent" after your child has achieved adulthood.
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