What mishap would you like to see at Shrub's press conference?

[Mobius]

Poll question: What mishap would you like to see at Shrub's press conference?

What mishap would you like to see at Shrub's press conference?

[nini]

1. earpiece falling out..

he'd be completely lost without being fed what to say.

[TrogL]

2. loses it

and starts screaming at somebody off-camera

[Mobius]

8. what would like to hear him say?

most damaging???

[yardwork]

3. I needed that! All-out belly laugh! Best laugh of the day!

[Mobius]

10. no problem

glad to help :hug:

[LuLu550]

4. The last time I saw him speak on TV

he actually cleared the back of his throat with one of those big, rattling, "gunna-hock-a-lugie" sounds. This guy has no class at all. Perhaps that is why the Freepers love him so much...."look Betty Lou, he's gunna hock a lugie, jus' like we do!"

[jobycom]

5. Rice runs out screaming "LIAR! And you're lousy in bed!"

You know, the pressure may get to her. I suspect that she didn't become a scholar to be forced into lying by a man with one third her IQ, and one tenth her learning.

[GainesT1958]

Either he tosses his pretzels...

OR...he trips and falls off the podium...he's been known to do THAT a time or two!:eyes:

If the latter, wouldn't it be fitting that he'd land..right in Helen Thomas' lap!:D

B-)

[DieboldMustDie]

25. I think Helen Thomas is in the back row now.

:evilgrin:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

6. Teleprompter misfunctions and gives him the following text

"I am NOT A CROOK"

[Mobius]

12. LMAO

how about "I AM a crook"? :shrug:

[GOPisEvil]

7. * breaking out his sock puppet to take questions from the media.

I'm sure he'd call it Mr. Handy. :D

[Az_lefty]

30. sock puppet...by far the best.

:toast:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

46. Mr. Cheney...I.......I......I ......mean Handy!

[DenverDem]

9. Wardrobe malfunction

exposing his lack of a penis.

[Mobius]

14. yeah and he gets a $500,000 fine

good one! :yourock:

[BostonTeaParty04]

11. Other: he starts mumbling: "why am I here? Who am I?"

and he never returns to the charade of George the Evil Emperor ever, ever again!!!

[Wickerman]

13. Babbles incoherently, monosyllabic responses, problems with word finding

and a glazed look in his eye. The press gives him an A for effort and for not pissing his pants or vomiting on stage. Oh, wait, that's been done three previous times. Never mind. :eyes:

[Howardx]

15. he tells the truth about anything

n/t

[peekaloo]

16. goes catatonic and the press start humming the 'Jeopardy' theme

[Mobius]

18. how about the press singing stadium song ...

"hey hey hey goodbye, na na na na hey hey hey goodbye"
or
"the lights go out, the party's over..."
and get a good wave started?

[punpirate]

17. Although it's not at all likely...

... I'd love to see the press burst into uproarious laughter, then walk out on him, leaving just the reporters from Fox and the Washington Times standing there staring at him....

[felonious thunk]

19. Proclaims himself Funkmaster General

and expresses his plans to lay down the funk as such. Then starts grooving to some Commodores music that is playing in his head. Then Cheney rushes in and starts taking questions.

[ohiosmith]

20. For him to masturbate uncontrollably.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

21. Just one reporter at the conference:

Helen Thomas.

[Endangered Specie]

22. Slips up trying to pronounce Nigeria, or Shi'ites

[cheezus]

23. But I doubt his handlers would let him drink until AFTER the confrence

maybe let him have 2 or 3 for the nerves, tho

[Hell Hath No Fury]

24. I will be satisfied with nothing less than....

a complete and very public meltdown.

I want him curled up in the fetal position under the podium sucking his thumb by the end of the conference.

[asthmaticeog]

26. Does lapsing into a coma count as a mishap?

That'd be pretty fucking funny.

[terrya]

27. During the press conference, he suddenly develops Tourette's Syndrome.

And he's permanently afflicted with it after.

That might be amusing.

Terry

[Mobius]

28. his vocab is reduced to the 7 words the FCC will fine you 500k for saying

:)

[terrya]

41. Exactly.

He'll such a filthy mouth that his handlers won't let him speak. :-)

Terry

[CBHagman]

29. Helen Thomas filmed delivering gestures of scorn.

He is SO deserving of whatever Helen has to dish out. Go, Helen!

[ronnykmarshall]

31. Drunk and trys to start a fight.

Starts pointing at a young reporter and says "You wanna piece of me boy? Huh?"

Slurs words and rips ear piece out "Goddamn it, Condi. I KNEW that one."

Yells off stage to Laura, "WOMAN go get me a beer damn it."

[Mobius]

32. that would be cool

:yourock:

[salin]

33. Press walks out on him

and he stands at the podium trying to shout answers to them and is only speaking to their backs as they all stream out the door.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

47. Or all yawn when the cameras cut to them

[scottcsmith]

34. I think he's going to do a Mili-Vanilli

"We will find Osama Bin Laden...girl you know it's girl you know it's girl you know it's girl you know it's..."

That'll be great!

[hippiechick]

35. Grabs the mic and starts singing 'Cocaine' ....

:yourock:


:hippie:

[Mobius]

38. OH YEAH I LIKE THAT ONE!

how about he just starts snorting lines right off the podium?

[peacefreak]

36. Freeze like a deer in the headlights

when one of his "chosen" reporters changes his question.

[Whitacre D_WI]

37. Other.

Drunken SOB chokes on a pretzel.

On edit: not to DEATH, Mr. Secret Service man. Just enough so the whole country knows that THE FUCKER IS DRUNK, AND HIS FINGER IS ON THE SHINY RED BUTTON.

[Mobius]

39. ....and dies right there on the spot?

or pukes it up with a bunch of pills or something? :shrug:

[Lisa]

40. how about -- "and yaks it up into Wolf Blitzer's lap"?

I would pay to see that.


p.s.

Actually, here's what I had in mind. One of "Bush's" ears falls off, and he reverts to a Brooklyn accent, admitting:

"I'm just Howie Finkelsteyn, a dinner theatre actor from the Catskills, and when Bush needs to be seen in public they slap some latex prosthetics on me and make me perform up here because most of the time he is OUT OF HIS MIND ON CRACK and rolling around in a padded room screaming about giant flesh-eating spiders and how he is the Emperor of the planet Ganymede and talks to God every day. Cheney and Rumsfeld are plotting to make war on the whole world, I'll tell you everything, EVERYTHING, just please get me out of here!!!"

[Mobius]

42. Bill O'Liely's lap

I beg to differ

[Piperay]

43. Pukes

just like his father, only chimp pukes cause he is drunk. :puke: :puke: :evilgrin:

[bloodyjack]

44. suspenders snap, pants fall down

[Lisa]

45. hey, maybe he'd be wearing "I love PNAC" boxers ...

(if they can make him those fancy text backdrops, why not put it on his shorts?)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

48. Have a reporter say, "Mr Nixon, I mean Bush...."

[MsSnood]

49. An unexpected question that causes him to throw a temper tantrum

and make a fool of himself.