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Och. I need to be reminded that it's OK to not be married.

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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 11:38 PM
Original message
Och. I need to be reminded that it's OK to not be married.
:eyes:

Cooking for one sucks, frankly.

Did this great number tonight, simmered some veggies in balsamic, cooked up some bacony-thing in another, strained and mixed it all up and poured it over wilted spinach and big ol' tomato slices with some quick-sauteed onion.

For who? For ME!... I think I miss the accolades. :(

Maybe I should just nuke pot pies from the freezer section, complete the picture of the solo guy staring at the walls.

Grumble / sigh.
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wickerwoman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 11:42 PM
Response to Original message
1. It's fabulous not being married.
If you did have a partner they'd probably be too tired from work to appreciate the hard work you put into dinner and if you had kids they'd just throw food at each other and fight or refuse to eat anything.

Plus, that one magic little word: leftovers.
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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 11:45 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. I'm sorry, but
...were you monitoring my marriage? Pretty spot-on, except substitute dogs fer kids. :D
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coloradodem2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 11:42 PM
Response to Original message
2. Could be worse.
You could be me.
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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 11:51 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. What's up?
...fellow Coloradan? I'm perfectly willing to set aside my wallowing for a few. What's happening that these mountains can't fix? :shrug:
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coloradodem2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:05 AM
Response to Reply #5
11. You're from Colorado?
Well, just been slowly rebuilding my life. It has been hard. It is also hard living at home with my parents.
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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:08 AM
Response to Reply #11
13. Yeah
I'm out toward Telluride kinda, in the ultra-sticks.

I lived with my folks for about six months when I was, man, maybe 27? VERY hard. But I have to say, aside from the money-saving part, it also helped me really, really appreciate not living with them later.
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fishnfla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 11:42 PM
Response to Original message
3. my dad used to say
Edited on Fri Apr-16-04 11:44 PM by fishnfla
when you're married, you have half the fun and twice the expense :).
I do like pot pies though


Edit: D'OH!
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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 11:52 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. Mmmmm
...pot piiiiies. ;)
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LividLiberal Donating Member (181 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 11:59 PM
Response to Original message
7. I had a hard time getting used to cooking for one too.
I couldn't even grocery shop. I was so disoriented I had to eat out for several months, and only went to the store for a couple things at a time!

I finally got acclimated though. And you will too.

Be easy on yourself.
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Lisa0825 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-16-04 11:59 PM
Response to Original message
8. I totally understand, Robb!
I really enjoy cooking, but it just doesn't seem to be worth the trouble to cook for one. So, now and then I ask my friend to let me cook for her and her son, just so I don't let good food go to waste.

Marie Callender pot pies ROCK!!!

Hang in there, Robb. I've been there, I remember all too well how it feels, and it gets better.
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eyesroll Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:01 AM
Response to Original message
9. You could make your own pot pies!
Edited on Sat Apr-17-04 12:01 AM by eyesroll
Bizarre compromise, I suppose. But that gives me an idea for dinner tomorrow (Whitacre D_WI's in Cleveland, and I get oddly domestic when I'm alone for the weekend)...

(And if you're anywhere near Denver -- my new-homowner-and-thus-broke sister would be perfectly willing to provide accolades for free food. Wow, that sounds a lot more salacious than I intended.)

Hang in there. :hug:
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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:06 AM
Response to Reply #9
12. Yeah, but my pastry's so-so at best.
:D

Sadly, I'm almost as far from Denver as you can get and still be in Colorado, so salaciousness notwithstanding, we're all outta luck.

On the plus side, I'm doing dishes about half as often. :shrug:
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eyesroll Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:12 AM
Response to Reply #12
14. Use mashed potatoes, then...
Make a Shepherd's Pie, sorta.

...I hear you about the pastry (I've never been through a divorce, so I'll empathize on the chef thing). I can get them to look good, or taste good, but not both. (Case in point -- I've got 24 ugly misshapen short-paste tartlet shells to fill tomorrow. If I can't redeem them aesthetically, they'll become snacks instead of the bake-sale fodder they're supposed to be.)
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Lisa0825 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:27 AM
Response to Reply #12
22. you can use a frozen pastry shell for the bottom, and then cut a second
into strips, and lattice on top.
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Don_G Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:02 AM
Response to Original message
10. Yeah, But....
Being fifty, I'm used to living alone and having my life organized my own way without outside help.

I never thought I would meet someone I could "invite" to help me upset my life constructively.

They're out there....
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whodiedandmadeUSgod Donating Member (503 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:14 AM
Response to Original message
15. Lurker here
who just started posting. I didn't know you were having problems in your marriage. My condolences your meal sounds much better then the spaghetti I made tonight.
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wtmusic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:23 AM
Response to Reply #15
20. Welcome to DU WDAMUSG!
:bounce: :toast: :bounce:

Nice screenname!!
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TheWizardOfMudd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:15 AM
Response to Original message
16. Dude, you don't know how to eat
Spaghetti and meatballs, with some buttered peas and good bread would have been good.

;-)
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Ramsey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:16 AM
Response to Original message
17. Worse than not being married
Being married to the wrong person.

In the immortal words of Meat Loaf: "I'll never break my promise or forget my vow, but god only knows what I could do right now. I'm praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you!"

BTW, for a few accolades, you can come over and make that snazzy dinner for me any time. Stay away from the gawdamm potpies!!
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Madrone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:19 AM
Response to Original message
18. It's OK not to be married!!!
I'm 31, never married, no kids. Did I ever think this would be my 31 year old life? Nope. Is it distasteful? Nope. Do I kinda like it? Yep! :)

I hear ya on the "cooking for one" thing though. I've never seemed to get that down. I always buy too many groceries, and end up throwing food away. Funny, because I HATE waste, but I can't get past the grocery thing. I also come home, think about spending an hour preparing something nice for myself to eat, then think "Why bother?" and grab a bag or a box of something instead.

A Bodhi is a MUCH better mate, anyway! I KNOW, because I've got one too! :) I don't think he'd be willing to share the bed with a husband :D
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Don_G Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:31 AM
Response to Reply #18
23. Men Can Master A Grill
But a kitchen stove will ever remain a mystery to me as much as Lowe's or Home Depot will be to her.
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Madrone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:39 AM
Response to Reply #23
26. Best man I ever dated was a chef...
Edited on Sat Apr-17-04 12:43 AM by PROUD DemocRAT
one that did dishes, at that! :)

He definitely knows how to work a stove!

and on edit:

I freaking LOOOOOOOOVE Lowes and Home Depot - must be because I've lived on my own for so many years and have had to take on projects by myself. Getting ready to buy some paint for a summer project of painting the already painted highly scratched and ugly shade of barn red wood floor in my living room/dining room area. (I'd refinish the floors if the house were MINE, but I rent) - My other summer project is to recarpet my computer room. Just waiting to find the right thing at the right price, and I'm buying it. Never installed carpet before, but it can't be that hard, right? :)
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AZCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:46 AM
Response to Reply #18
27. Regarding the "cooking for one" thing...
I have always found it best to 'adopt' a couple, preferrably a childless one, and pool our dinner resources. They are usually happy for a third personality, and cooking for three isn't really that different than cooking for two. You get the benefit of simpler preparation, nice socialization, and someone to give you feedback on your cooking!

Of course with the current 'adoptees', there is one who is MILES ahead of us other two in cooking skills, and likes to show it. (not that I mind)

Just a suggestion! :)
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wtmusic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:22 AM
Response to Original message
19. Especially with that hot new kitchen...
just finished mine. I can say this: at least you're not arguing about tile colors...:D
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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 08:13 AM
Response to Reply #19
29. This is true!
:D :thumbsup:
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Interrobang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:27 AM
Response to Original message
21. I've got one word for you: Leftovers!!
I'm 29, been living on my own for about 10 years now, never married, never lived with a significant other, and I kind of like it that way. My solution to the "cooking for one" thing is just to make lots of extras and eat them either as leftovers the next day (saves on restaurant lunches when I'm working outside the home!) or stick them in the freezer to eat on those days when I know I *must* eat, but can't muster up the energy and/or cash to either go out and get something or cook.

A further hint: If you freeze your leftovers in those Gladware thingies (or designated alternate), they go straight from freezer to microwave, and, if you're a bachelor(ette), no one's around to nag you about how uncouth you're being by eating directly from the Gladware, either (saves on dishes that way). What could be easier? :)
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:34 AM
Response to Original message
24. mmm pot pie
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LDS Jock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:36 AM
Response to Original message
25. Its better to be single than
in a bad marriage. I tell single self that all the time when I remember what a bad marriage my sister had. I would NEVER want to be in that situation. Single is much better, even if lonely at times.
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shanti Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:56 AM
Response to Original message
28. just think about the worst relationship you've ever been in
and thank god that you're not in it anymore! works for me!
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 08:25 AM
Response to Original message
30. Singletons get to
eat all of their favourite foods (gourmet and pedestrian) without judgement and without ambient whining about how "you know I don't like fish, what's with the Chilean Sea Bass?"

And you can even eat dinner in the bathtub if you want. Okay, maybe that's more of a chick thing.

:hug:

Honestly, it does get better. And it helps to have a friend over for dinner now and again. Just a buddy or a couple of folks who's company you enjoy.
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LWolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 08:42 AM
Response to Original message
31. It's fine not to be married.
Of course, when I became single, I quit "cooking" with great relief. 20+ years of cooking for a family, just another chore to get done when I got home from work, and I was glad to leave it behind.

When you are single, you get to make all the rules.

You go to bed whenever you want, and get up whenever you want. You eat when and what you want, you do chores when you feel like it, and spend your time exactly the way that you choose.

The first thing I did when I became single is start going to bed when I wanted to. I'm a morning person; I like to be up before dawn. So I'm tired early. When I was married, I compromised. I forced myself to stay up until 10, and he forced himself to bed an hour before he really wanted to. Now I go to bed when I want to; usually around 8:30 or 9:00 on work days, sometimes later when I have the next day off. And I get up and get the day going before dawn.

Then there's the media; with one exception, I haven't watched a single news program, or the tonight show, since gaining control of the remote. The exception: on 9-11, my son called to demand that I turn the tv on. I watched for 5 minutes, and turned it off.
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SayitAintSo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 09:13 AM
Response to Original message
32. You won't be solo long ... it looks to me ...
Sounds like you're the kind of person that others would find easy to connect with ... It will get better. Solo has many advantages, especially after coming off a bad union. But I think there is still a need to connect. Have folks over for dinner and save the pot pies for solo down time. Get a dog ... never a better companion.... and good luck.
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 09:26 AM
Response to Original message
33. Advice from a single person
Think stir fries, curries, soups, stews, chili, and other foods that you can cook up in huge quantities and freeze several servings of. (Exception: tofu doesn't freeze well.)

Think big salads that you can nibble at for a week or until the veggies all wilt, whichever happens first.

Think pasta toppings that you can cook up ahead of time and freeze. When it's time to eat, just boil up some pasta, thaw the topping, and combine.

The microwave is your friend.

When I lived in Portland, I was within walking distance of so many good and reasonable restaurants that it was hard to cook for myself, but here in Minneapolis, ironically, there isn't much within walking distance, so I'm cooking for myself more, as I did when I lived in that tiny Oregon town.
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Bossy Monkey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 09:56 AM
Response to Original message
34. A) it's ok not to be married; B) head to the library, to the cookbook area
Check out cookbooks for every national/regional cuisine you've never tried before. Cooking for one is your opportunity to try new stuff without any pressure. If it doesn't work, nobody knows but you.

Look for this one first: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0671625551/qid=1082213720/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_2/103-4340476-8199017?v=glance&s=books You'll never doubt your pastry-making abilities again!
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RebelOne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 09:59 AM
Response to Original message
35. Why would you ever want to be married?
I've been single most of my life and I love only cooking for one. That's all the less dishes to do.

I was married for 9 years, get divorced and never married again. I like my freedom too much.
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 10:55 AM
Response to Original message
36. learn to like your own company
people who don't like their own company should wonder why others would like their company.
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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:12 PM
Response to Reply #36
37. Well, fortunately I dig me just fine.
:)

...Actually, for the past six months or so I'd only been seeing the other half briefly in the morning and evening, thrown food in her, and straight to sleep. Me and myself have had a lot of quality time. ;)
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hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:24 PM
Response to Original message
38. So, dine out. Meet new people .... buffets are good for mingling
As are Mongolian Barbeques, or small cafes where you can eat, read, chat and people watch without being rushed. It'll take some getting used to, but .... there's a big world out there, dude.

Being single ROCKS ! I dig my gig !! :)


:hippie:
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Mobius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-17-04 12:39 PM
Response to Original message
39. I thought you were married?
Edited on Sat Apr-17-04 12:43 PM by Mobius
I remember you posting something about being a house husband.
I have found paper plates to be god send to get out of doing as many dishes as possible.
On edit:I read some of the other posts and was not aware you were having marital difficulties. Im sorry
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