hey. it's me. that little white blob of fat in your pork and beans.

[mopaul]

you know me. when you open the can, i'm right there on top. i'm watching you. you always throw me right into the trash right? well guess what inferior being, that's how we have spread ourselves around your planet, and the time has come for phase 9 of our plans for your species.

your planet is but one of many millions we have conquered in exactly the same way. you bring us right into your homes and give us total access to your children, whom we are currently processing into grave robbing zombies. foolish earthlings, your puny technology will not save you from our proton plasma rays and reanimated flesh eating corpses. so go ahead, open that can of pork and beans...any brand will do, campbells, bush's baked beans...even generic brands like always good, and best buy, it doesn't matter. we are your overlords.
we will assimilate you. resistance is feudal.

[demnan]

1. Just another reason to buy dried beans

and make your own.

[Raven]

2. I saved them.

I have a collection but they're like bully sticks...you have to keep them in the freezer or they'll smell and attract bugs. Should I let them out, thaw them out and see what they do?

[FlaGranny]

3. Buy vegetarian beans.

The white glob is never present in them.

Edit: Secret to good baked beans: Add a bit of catsup, a bit of mustard, and a dash of chili powder. Depending on the brand you buy, a bit of brown sugar might be needed.

[Elidor]

4. Well then. I've eaten many of your brothers and sisters with glee

If not relish. I always eat the fat. It's the best damn thing in the whole can. I want to buy cans of fat with just a couple of beans on the top for flavor.

[StClone]

6. Parasitic White Blobs

I think those white blobs infect people! I think the epidemic of obesity is plan 9. We are turning into huge canned white blobs -- well maybe not all of us.

[LEFTofLEFT]

5. My aunt worked for cambells soup co. for many years

My aunt worked for cambells soup co. for many years
She at one time had the job of putting the "oyster" in the can.
She had many joke about that job - Put me off beans for years

[44wax]

7. Will a tinfoil hat protect me from your kind?

Do you answer to a Greedy Old Prikkk?